its all got to stop

[ashley]

I have said to myself if i dont feel better soon, i will endit all...as i cant take the physical and mentally pain ...and the grosh grosh feeling i get with my depression... i cant belive i have been thinking that way now,i am scared actually of what i will do.. because when i get desparate i feel ready to take my life..

ash

[hayles]

Ash,

Please dont get desperate.
These feelings are so overwhelming I know
and it feels like you ha e no choice, but please it does get better.

Think of all the people around you who love you and want to see
you get better.

have you had any help, councelling or anything....maybe you should get your self down the GP.

Just reading around this site will surely make you see that it does all end.

Its worth it in the end Ash x

Hay x

[Southern_Belle]

Ash,

I don't know when the best time is to take your meds like you posted on the other site you need to ask your doctor. I was hoping you would be feeling better today. Maybe you need to contact a crisis center if they have such a thing over in your country. I know that right now you just see a black tunnel but there is a light at the end of it you are just in a deep depression right now. I think it is a great step that you are thinking of taking the tablet tho, that means you do want help. Please consider counseling or contacting your doctor immediately. If you need to talk I'm here for you.

Bel

[ashley]

Hiya
(sorry for the accident in posting you hayles)
You know what this site is wicked , and i love it they have been great dont get me wrong, but the pain is too much,, im scared thats there something serious or mentally wrong with me all the time, the symptoms , the nasty nasty sick grosh feeling i get with my deprssion, the nasty eptopic beats, and all the other thusand thought and feelings i am having, are far too much i cant live like this, i cant take this.. i know everyone will say she has children how can she think like this, well trust me i never thought i could be thinking this way either, im too scared to take any f***ing tablets, as i said in a prievous post, i have citrapram sitting in my cupboard but i am too gutless to take them for the side effects and it making me feel even worse than i do now... but im prepared to end it... its scary i want so much to live really,,, but its far to nasty now and i cant be in the pain anymore, if you know what i mean.
i wake up feeling like i havnt slept every day, i feel nasty naty when i wake up, and it mut take me 5/6 hours to come round, why ... and then all i do is live in fear and anxiety... and depression ..thats too much now...tried everything apart from medication.

Yes your right i do think about all my family who love me,and my children who adore me, of course..my family are great but they are the kind of family that thinks ..OH SORT IT OUT WILL YA

IF ONLY THEY KNEW HOW BAD I REALLY AM

After i took myself to the hospital once when i was panicking, i rang my mum and my dad was shouting in the back ground, going mental... and why because i was at the hospital and he couldnt understand why...what a joke ..oh my god..so no i wont be chatting with them about it.

My mum never says are you alright ashley, how are you coping..
they do love me..they just dont get it.

They would be sorry if i did end it all wouldnt they...


ash

[jodie]

hi ash

sorry you are still feeling realy bad
poor you i know how hard it is to be so so down when my doughter died i dident want to live anymore i would sit and think about how i would end it all but the fact that we think about it and that we dont take meds cos of side affects means that we do want to live .
i bet you are the nicest person going with loads to live for and when i first came to this site you were so kind in you posts to me and pms .
you will overcome this just try realy hard have you tryed to get out through the day even if its just walking.give yourself loads to do so there for not having time to think of stuff to much
i realy hope you get a little better soon if you ever need to talkl you can pm me anytime
just keep thinking of all the good things about yourself and kids we only get one life thats what i always think

jodie xx