Mikey_99123
18-03-11, 15:42
Hi everyone,
Just thought I'd let you know that no matter how dark things may seem, there can always be a light at the end of the tunnel.
I've only posted a few times but read many threads and I know there are a lot of people out there feeling the way I was a few months ago. I was suffering from PAs on a daily basis, my marriage was failing, my job was suffering and I had severe HA, mainly about our old friend the heart attack.
I've had some counselling, was prescribed a few drugs (propranolol and citalopram) and had endless medical tests which culminated in a full heart MRI at the John Radcliffe in Oxford. I wouldn't recommend it as an experience but it gave me the confirmed all clear that I needed to hear.
All of these helped, but the main thing was I decided to change the way I though about me. I stopped being super critical, I stopped giving myself a hard time and I allowed myself to be silly and to laugh.
Amazingly, by doing this I was able to see that all the things I had been worried about were of my own making. The most important step I took to change things around me was by changing myself.
My work is now good, my marriage has never been better, I haven't touched the prop in weeks and I'm coming off Cit, so far with no problems (touch wood). I am suddenly looking forward to things and can honestly say that for the first time in ages I am enjoying life!
If you're wondering what was the key to this change was, it was something my counsellor said to me. He said that whenever he wakes up, he says 'this would be a good day to die'. I thought he was mad when I heard it but then I thought about it. Most of my HA was due to feeling I was going to die unfulfilled. By re-examining my beliefs and values I was able to see that what I had was really pretty good. This allowed me to relax, I stopped being so darn angry about everything and I started to allow people 'in'.
As soon as I did this, I realised that all the things I was craving were already there. I have often had times when I have felt completely whole and full of love for my life. I realise now what my counsellor meant - whilst I really do not want to die, if I did die today, I would know that I had felt all of those wonderful feelings I thought were denied to me. Powerful stuff.
Sorry to ramble on, but I guess I'm a bit evangelical about this. If you want to change your life for the better, try changing how you view yourself and your surroundings - you might be very pleasantly suprised at the results.
Take care and enjoy.:yesyes:
Just thought I'd let you know that no matter how dark things may seem, there can always be a light at the end of the tunnel.
I've only posted a few times but read many threads and I know there are a lot of people out there feeling the way I was a few months ago. I was suffering from PAs on a daily basis, my marriage was failing, my job was suffering and I had severe HA, mainly about our old friend the heart attack.
I've had some counselling, was prescribed a few drugs (propranolol and citalopram) and had endless medical tests which culminated in a full heart MRI at the John Radcliffe in Oxford. I wouldn't recommend it as an experience but it gave me the confirmed all clear that I needed to hear.
All of these helped, but the main thing was I decided to change the way I though about me. I stopped being super critical, I stopped giving myself a hard time and I allowed myself to be silly and to laugh.
Amazingly, by doing this I was able to see that all the things I had been worried about were of my own making. The most important step I took to change things around me was by changing myself.
My work is now good, my marriage has never been better, I haven't touched the prop in weeks and I'm coming off Cit, so far with no problems (touch wood). I am suddenly looking forward to things and can honestly say that for the first time in ages I am enjoying life!
If you're wondering what was the key to this change was, it was something my counsellor said to me. He said that whenever he wakes up, he says 'this would be a good day to die'. I thought he was mad when I heard it but then I thought about it. Most of my HA was due to feeling I was going to die unfulfilled. By re-examining my beliefs and values I was able to see that what I had was really pretty good. This allowed me to relax, I stopped being so darn angry about everything and I started to allow people 'in'.
As soon as I did this, I realised that all the things I was craving were already there. I have often had times when I have felt completely whole and full of love for my life. I realise now what my counsellor meant - whilst I really do not want to die, if I did die today, I would know that I had felt all of those wonderful feelings I thought were denied to me. Powerful stuff.
Sorry to ramble on, but I guess I'm a bit evangelical about this. If you want to change your life for the better, try changing how you view yourself and your surroundings - you might be very pleasantly suprised at the results.
Take care and enjoy.:yesyes: