miffyrabbit
21-03-11, 14:52
Hello there. I've often come on to No More Panic to read the articles about anxiety and panic, and I thought it was a good time to join.
I'm a 37 year old man, living in Newcastle, with my partner, Jeff. I was diagnosed in 1998 with panic disorder, and generalised anxiety disorder. Over time this diagnosis has become a bit more confused as health anxiety and agoraphobia have also crept in. I take a variety of medications to try and counter some of the effects of my anxiety problems; mirtazapine, busipirone, propanalol, seroquel, and, when needed, diazepam. I would say though that I doubt the efficacy of these drugs, simply because my anxiety is present every day, veering between low-level discomfort and 9/10, 10/10 panic attacks.
The impact of these anxiety problems have been massive for me. I haven't worked for years, my social life has vanished completely, I haven't left the house for several months, and when I do, it is to the doctor's, sedated and in a taxi. I'm lucky in that I have a very supportive partner, and a relatively supportive family, but all the same I realise how hard it is for my partner, who often curtails his life for my benefit. Also, the daily, weekly grind of living in a state of fear has, by degrees, worn my resolve, confidence and sense of purpose away.
I have had three separate periods of cognitive behavioural therapy over the last ten years, which have had a small but positive effect. However, the effects from these therapy sessions have been short-lived. Because of the concomitant agoraphobia I haven't been able to exercise properly, and also the effects of exercise (raised heart-beat, sweating etc) leave me terrified and reluctant to continue. I have been diagnosed as hypertensive, for which I take candesarten. I also have Factor V Leiden, and I take blood thinning medication for this, which serves a dual purpose as I have a Patent Foramen Ovale (a common heart defect). These mentioned "conditions" are hardly life threatening, but now that my anxiety is so bedded in and complex, I perceive them as such.
I realise that there is a limit to what my G.P can do, but all the same I feel very isolated and "at sea" with these issues. I have put my name down again for another session of C.B.T, but as is usually the case, the waiting time is considerable. I have tried alternative medicine, and for the last two years I have been a total abstainer from alcohol, cigarettes, coffee or stimulants.
I do know that these problems are behavioural, rather than organic. All the same, I am starting to feel like I have no point or purpose any more, and this really frightens me. Up until fairly recently I always had a strong belief that I would get better from this - rather a like a strand of faith that ran through the mire of anxiety and fear. Lately I am struggling to find this strand, and I get a horrible feeling that my life will always be blighted by panic and terror, with nothing to look forward to but years of distress rolling out in front of me.
I wish I could have posted something life-affirming and positive, as I know many people overcome the issues of anxiety and panic successfully. My best friend, who is 18 years older than me, overcame her panic disorder after having suffered with it for a long time.
I wish you all the best, and many thanks to the thought and dedication of the administrators and contributors who have made this website a place of safety.
Matthew.
I'm a 37 year old man, living in Newcastle, with my partner, Jeff. I was diagnosed in 1998 with panic disorder, and generalised anxiety disorder. Over time this diagnosis has become a bit more confused as health anxiety and agoraphobia have also crept in. I take a variety of medications to try and counter some of the effects of my anxiety problems; mirtazapine, busipirone, propanalol, seroquel, and, when needed, diazepam. I would say though that I doubt the efficacy of these drugs, simply because my anxiety is present every day, veering between low-level discomfort and 9/10, 10/10 panic attacks.
The impact of these anxiety problems have been massive for me. I haven't worked for years, my social life has vanished completely, I haven't left the house for several months, and when I do, it is to the doctor's, sedated and in a taxi. I'm lucky in that I have a very supportive partner, and a relatively supportive family, but all the same I realise how hard it is for my partner, who often curtails his life for my benefit. Also, the daily, weekly grind of living in a state of fear has, by degrees, worn my resolve, confidence and sense of purpose away.
I have had three separate periods of cognitive behavioural therapy over the last ten years, which have had a small but positive effect. However, the effects from these therapy sessions have been short-lived. Because of the concomitant agoraphobia I haven't been able to exercise properly, and also the effects of exercise (raised heart-beat, sweating etc) leave me terrified and reluctant to continue. I have been diagnosed as hypertensive, for which I take candesarten. I also have Factor V Leiden, and I take blood thinning medication for this, which serves a dual purpose as I have a Patent Foramen Ovale (a common heart defect). These mentioned "conditions" are hardly life threatening, but now that my anxiety is so bedded in and complex, I perceive them as such.
I realise that there is a limit to what my G.P can do, but all the same I feel very isolated and "at sea" with these issues. I have put my name down again for another session of C.B.T, but as is usually the case, the waiting time is considerable. I have tried alternative medicine, and for the last two years I have been a total abstainer from alcohol, cigarettes, coffee or stimulants.
I do know that these problems are behavioural, rather than organic. All the same, I am starting to feel like I have no point or purpose any more, and this really frightens me. Up until fairly recently I always had a strong belief that I would get better from this - rather a like a strand of faith that ran through the mire of anxiety and fear. Lately I am struggling to find this strand, and I get a horrible feeling that my life will always be blighted by panic and terror, with nothing to look forward to but years of distress rolling out in front of me.
I wish I could have posted something life-affirming and positive, as I know many people overcome the issues of anxiety and panic successfully. My best friend, who is 18 years older than me, overcame her panic disorder after having suffered with it for a long time.
I wish you all the best, and many thanks to the thought and dedication of the administrators and contributors who have made this website a place of safety.
Matthew.