HELP!

[claire47]

Hello Everyone,

Firstly, this is my first post here so " Hello!:)"

My name is Claire and I am 18 years old. I have GAD and Social Anxiety Disorder. I currently work in a supermarket which is always really hard for me as I find large social situations ( especially with strangers) difficult.

I have had a few days off in the past due to my anxiety but usually force myself in as to not make my avoidance worse.

Recently, I have been really struggling. I have had my medication changed a few times and It's been a tough few months. At the weekend, just there, my manager pulled me into the office and told me that I always mope around and do not do my job properly.

I feel this is not the case, there is the odd occasion where I don't perform like I should but this is realated to my anxiety- which he is fully aware of. Furthermore, I feel as though I have worked as hard as I can.

He took me into the office to chat about my performance and I got very upset. I'm always on edge and excessively anxious so I was teary. He then told me that I don't do my job properly, he started the converstation with " I'm going to be blunt with you". And he lost his temper quite quickly and spoke to me in a horrible manner. He doesn't understand how it feels. I try my best at work I really do. My anxiety eats me alive.

This made me feel very isolated and that all the progress I've made in terms of my mental health has been for nothing. I felt worthless and unappreciated. I understand that he has a department to run but I feel that he is out of order doing this to me.

As a consequence of his unprofessionalism and lack of understanding, I requested that I go home - of course not getting paid to be off ill. I got to my car and had an anxiety attack. My mother came to collect me and I've been in my house ever since. I've had another attack since then just thinking about it, I really do not know what to do. I'm even scared to leave the house at the moment, just incase I have an attack.

I'm so fed up. I don't know what to do. I feel like he has put me back to sqaure one. I'm going to be short of cash at the end of the month and I've had to skip University today.

Help?

[PoppyC]

Hi Claire
Welcome to the site!
Sorry to read about how you feel and how you have been treated.
Don't let your university studies be affected because of this poor excuse of a manager, who sounds like he is very unprofessional in his attitude and has poor management skills.
He doesn't have to understand how anxiety and the rest makes you feel, but at least he doesn't have to be nasty with you!
This is just my opinion...Personally, I would make a complaint about your manager - go higher than him, (call the supermarket head office), and find out about the complaints process, and put in a complaint that you did not like the way you were spoken to, how it upset you, and that you feel that you do not agree with what was said to you. Explain how you are now left feeling.
Don't leave your job in the meantime.
I feel so sorry for you. You don't need to be treated the way you were. The supermarket manager sounds an idiot, like a lot of them are, and most have them have no real management qualifications/skills. I am sure for some of them, a little bit of power goes to their heads.
Look after yourself and try to relax as much as you can, and get some rest. Hopefully you will soon start to feel a little less upset and anxious.
Let us know how you get on.
Sending you hugs. :hugs:

[Becky210788]

Hi claire im really sorry to hear about this, i also get really bad at work with my social anxiety and ive just been put on the sick today because i just simply cant go in, i tottaly know what your going through. I went online i few days ago to see where i stand with work and mental health and to be honest what your boss has done is really bad and he could get into trouble is e knows your situation he should be understnading and not at all make you feel worse, please take a look on the directgov website/mental health, also acas is a good place to ring for proffesional advice these are all availble in the uk so sorry if you are not around these parts, your manager shouldnt be doing this at all infact they should be supposting you or maybe giving some sort of other job what you might find easier like for eg not been on the tills but maybe putting things on shelfs for a little while so your not having to talk to the public all the time. I would really make a stand and maybe put in a grevence in against him or complaint tell them its making your mental health worse hope this helps xx

[James23]

As a fellow anxiety sufferer, i completely agree with what poppy says about your manager, dont take him too seriously, as hes not a real manager only a little boy on a power trip. Try and get back in there if you can and dont let anyone get to you, you should probably go above him and let someone further up the management chain know your position and how his lack of understanding is making you miserable, failing that you probably have a good case for making a complaint, but personally i wouldnt as i think the stress would be too much for me. hope you feel better soon.