View Full Version : Is this just depersonalisation or am I going mad?

21-03-11, 23:15
Hey, sorry I made a similar topic a few days ago but I've been getting worse and could really do with some reassurance.

Depersonalisation first started for me about a month and a half ago, it was really scary, but when I found out it was just a symptom of anxiety I kind of just accepted it and it went away for about a week or so.

Its since come back with avengeance and I'm really depressed about it, because nothing feels real I'm starting to actually think that it isn't, and that everything around me us just a figment of my imagination, I'll also question what I have done at different times during the day.

For example, I was at the football match yesterday, we lost 2-0 and afterwards I was thinking "did we really just lose 2-0 or am I just imagining what happened?"

Also today I was out in town, I was actually feeling alright because it was a nice day and it was nice to be out the house, then I sat down and just watched the people going about their daily business, suddenly I started thinking "I'm all on my own and I'm just imagining these people in front of me".

These thoughts didn't start until I suffered with depersonalisation and they're almost tipping me over the edge, tell me I'm not losing it. :weep:

22-03-11, 16:46
Anyone? When I look in the mirror I see a stranger.

22-03-11, 20:57
Yep I have been the same altho it is now getting less for me, the last six months had two very bad months with it, than a month off, then it came back went for two weeks and I have it very mild now, you just have to accept it it's your brains way of giving you a rest, hard to believe when it makes you feel so low and awful, trust me it will get less and eventually go and is one of the symptoms that usually lingers for the longest and I hate it too. I usually walk round saying hey I love this feeling it's great, were not going mad for mad people do not know they are mad, sometimes wonder if it would actually be better to be mad and not know anything about it, but hang in there and we all know it will go in the end and have to get on and adjust our lives and live with the damn thing for a while, you ake care now and don't worry yourself, the image you see in the mirror is a stranger to you at the moment but as you return to your old self this image will be more acceptable as YOU.:hugs:for the moment this anxiety fueled person is here sadly

22-03-11, 21:57
Thanks mate.

I'm so sick of it, when I look at people who care about me like friends and family I feel nothing, no love... just emptiness. When I look into my own eyes there is no glint there anymore, just a dark cold stare. :-(

22-03-11, 23:41
no your not getting mad very similar experiences with it. can make you feel emotionally dead. and extremely strange i get it whenever I'm anxious i don't worry too much calvt it. suppose that's cos I'm Jon obsessed with my breathing x
hang in their try to not let tv thoughts have too much space in your head x

23-03-11, 00:07
I can relate to this as I am going through it myself so it's hard to offer much advice but I can explain how it feels for me..

Yes tonight I have felt mad, I feel stranger I get crazy thoughts and feel a foreigner and feel I actually duno who I am anymore. What makes it bad is when I shut away and become a touch agoraphobic and fear going out due to it. Going out I feel I can't cope with the symptom..or sometimes I wish it would go away and feel I have no quality of life? Maybe you can relate to that?

For me the hard part is how it makes me feel..its quite depressing how it takes over me, fear it and how I can't just sit and watch tv and feel like me..basically derealization lasts all day and you only tend to suffer 'depersonalization' when you have a panic/adrenaline attack. The depersonalization can be quite scary. The derealization is quite awful to live with because it gives you such a sensitized experience of life your numb, frozen, emotionless, don't feel alive. I don't sleep until late like 3am and sleep on until lunch so that makes me feel worse..so my tip is get up early and be active as getting up early does help me feel fresh.

Also don't google and search it. Have a sheet of some self help which explains it, try and refer to it for me a single sheet would not be enough get one that has lots of reading there's some DP books or Claire weeks.

I assume it also makes you feel "different" and no other anxiety sufferers are the same? Well I read that's true because everything feels different for everybody. I might get the nippy eyes more than somebody else for example. But it's textbook symptoms really. Some people are lucky and only get it briefly and have the strength to let it go. I have learned research it, and your mind becomes stuck in a loop. But had habits can be changed so see it as that. No magic cure I'm afraid the ball goes back to you..it's hard I'm suffering as I speak..but sometimes talking about it helps.

23-03-11, 09:22
Basically sounds like me Phil, although I think you've had it a lot longer than me.

All I know is that I can't go on living like this for much longer.

23-03-11, 10:19
you are not going mad...
and it WILL pass...
i lived with this a while ago and i know how horrid it is but it is ONLY thoughts ...and your mind playing tricks on you.
this anxiety does many things to us...
i know it is very easy for me to say now but when it happens ignore it ...get on with something ... and take your mind off it, it will ease.
many of us suffer or have suffered with this have a good look on the forum and you will find some good adice.