Possible date and meeting friends - more anxiety?

[phil06]

I could be going a date this weekend then meeting up with friends next day but that's more than I do in the average week at the moment..last time I went to my friends I lasted three hours and got a taxi home (as I don't let them know I'm anxious)..

But I have to find a way to cope with it. I still have a fear of being outdoors due to the symptoms of anxiety..feelings like I can't cope or I may feel unreal or sick or some symptoms to make me want go back home.

I feel like I've had loads of great advice but I could still go out and feel anxious and not enjoying it would be a defeat for me or not going/coming back early. Any task going over the door is a big one for me now..lately anytime I'm out I just wanna get it over with and get home..I'll probably worry all week and not going would depress me too. :blush:

[Shelz77]

Hey Phil,
sorry to hear your'e having a tough time at the mo. Why do you not let your friends in on your anxiety? Honestly, they can be very supportive for you. All my mates know, and they don't treat me any different. It may help you to overcome the anxiety when you are around your friends etc

[harasgenster]

It's not a defeat to come back early. You're anxious going outside, if you ask me, staying out for three hours is a massive success.

Stick to your plans. Go for the date and see your friends. What are you doing on the date? It's going to be less overwhelming if you aim for a short period of time together so that it seems manageable to you. Are you just going for a drink? Could you go for a coffee in the afternoon? If you go out for lunch/coffee you can easily leave in three hours without seeming like you're not interested. The date will be fine if you say you're sorry but you have loads on at the moment and arrange another time to meet with them.

A date is scary for most of us, regardless of anxiety disorders, so once you come back make sure you appreciate what you've done, as in: "You've successfully done something frightening without having a panic attack". And I believe that this will be true. The fear of a panic attack is more likely to bring one on. In reality, there's no reason for your to have a panic attack and even if it did you would not be harmed. If you're worried about embarrassment, it's easier to hide panic than you think. There's a nasty cold going around at the moment. If you feel faint/sick and really need to go home, apologise and say you think you're coming down with it but you really enjoyed yourself and will see them again, etc.

Don't worry. This only seems massive in your mind. If you look at it objectively, there's nothing TRAPPING you outside. You can leave whenever you want, without causing offense. This helped me with agoraphobia. I was less afraid if I felt like I had loads of escape routes, and because I was less afraid I didn't have a panic attack and then I didn't even need to use those escape routes!

Take care

[phil06]

Well the weekend is looming and still not sure how I can cope..

My head says I'm crazy or dying still..I feel crap every day..motivation is hard I may have a job open day to attend next week but socialising and work seems a hard task right now as it has for ten months.

Plus I felt crazy the other day: http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=92423

Like what if I go on the bus and feel like heading home again? What if I can only do the pub? what if I don't go atall? so many ifs and what if I go, last it but have a panic attack I'd still be so annoyed with myself suffering..:ohmy: I could take a diazepam but rather try and avoid it as I've coped without.

I'm thinking maybe it's depression causing the motivation issues and long term Depersonalization is hard as I don't feel real. Last time at my mates I lasted 3 hours could have stayed longer BUT: my feet felt off the floor, I felt I couldn't feel my heart, I was hyperventilating, panicking, felt a zombie so got a taxi home felt no achievement as I went out but felt crap...where's the joy in that?

Also I feel I'm crazy as sometimes I fear I'm saying crazy stuff, sometimes I feel excited for no reason I feel all emotions at times. :blush: I feel at times I can't put it into words..my head feels a cloud and I feel a zombie..

[daydreamer]

Hey Phil, I know how your feeling with the long term derealization - not nice!

You have to give yourself credit for going to see your mate last time tho. Ok so you only managed 3hrs, but hey thats 3hrs longer than not goin at all so dont beat youself up about it!

I went out to meet friends at a pub last week, something I havent done for a year! I only lasted a few hrs but I was pleased with my achievement, lol! Its baby steps, you have to take things slowly and not expect too much of yourself.

Instead of saying "Like what if I go on the bus and feel like heading home again? What if I can only do the pub?" well if you do go and feel like going home again then at least you have tried.

"what if I don't go atall?" if you dont go you'll probably feel worse about yourself than if you do go. "so many ifs and what if I go, last it but have a panic attack I'd still be so annoyed with myself suffering.." Maybe you wont have a panic attack?!!!

"I could take a diazepam but rather try and avoid it as I've coped without" See, you have answered your own question there, if you have a panic attack you will cope because you HAVE coped before and even coped WITHOUT having to take a diazepam. And if you do have to take a Diazepam then its not the end of the world, thats what they are there for afterall........ But Im pretty sure you wont have to!

You can do it! go out and meet your mates...... you never know you might even enjoy it!! Good luck :)