Hello I'm new and have a health phobia

[Dansmam]

hello,

I'm new to this site. I have a health phobia which has stretched over the past 15 years.

It started 15 years ago when I found a lump in my left breast. It turned out to be nothing- trauma caused by my 3 yr old elbowing me but I was convinced the doctors had missed something. After months of cognitive therapy I was a lot calmer and although the panic attacks would return fleetingly now and then I managed my anxiety.

Last Easter I found another lump and although the doctor reassured me he didn't think it was anything to worry about I spiralled out of control and ended up on diazapam ( not that it helped much ) anyway after a mammogram and scan it was proven to be a harmless cyst.

Yesterday I received an appointment for a routine breast screening mammogram and you'd think someone had handed me a death sentence!

I rang the hospital and asked if it was necessary as I'd had a mammogram just under a year ago. I was told that if I wasn't concerned about anything I could leave it till next year. I wasn't concerned at that point so cancelled till next year.

Now I can't get it out of my mind. the fear,the worry, convincing myself that there's something wrong. what if they find something ? then I think " Find what, you silly moo?!" up until I received this appointment it hadn't crossed
my mind,my boobs were the last thing on my mind!

I'm really disappointed in myself. There will have been hundreds of these appointments sent out yesterday and not everyone will have convinced themselves that they are dying by now. How can I go through life with this constant fear?

Sorry for going on so long,
Jan

[Gemmalou84]

Hi jan, welcome 2 the site I'm fairly new here myself but I find it helps a lot, sorry ur going through a rough time at the min ! I've been going through what I can only describe has he'll the last few months but finally got help a few weeks ago and very slowly I'm getting there but I mean very slowly lol ! I hope I can get a lid on things soon cause I don't want 2 spend years and years living like this it's awful and sometimes I look at ppl and they don't seem 2 have a care in the world and I feel like I've got the world on my shoulders sometimes ! Anyways hope ur feeling better soon and I'm sure that u r fine ( easier said though I know ) take care Hun Gemma :))) xx

[kah]

Hi Jan,

I think once you've had HA it's always there, whether in the background or full blown panic mode. You've been managing so well so try not to be too disappointed in yourself, you'll get back to where you were I'm sure.
If it's really bothering you why don't you ring to re-book the appointment and once you know for sure that everythings fine (which I'm sure it will be :D), I'm sure the HA will disappear again.

K xx

[Greenman50]

My wife has one of these on thursday , just routine ...she never appears to worry :shrug::shrug:

I used to be like her untill last August ....i can trace these negative thoughts to back then .
She has even asked me to remind her of the appointment , i asked if she wanted me to go with her and she replied "why ?"

You,ll be fine .