I can't go in much longer like this :(

[Lizziesaurus]

All the ups and downs are making the downs so much worse. Noone truly understands, work don't realise ir effects everything, I'm not just a bit sad. I don't see a future, I don't know what to do with myself. I'll be honest if it wasn't for my cat (he's like my baby) I'd be doing something stupid right now. I have noone to talk to and no one seems to really care.
It's like I'm living in a bad dreamed I can't wake up.
Even I was on antidepressants it was easier.

Why do I have to be like this? :weep::weep::weep:

Sorry for the rant

[shoegal]

If you are feeling this low please go and see your Dr and ask for some support. It's the illness talking and not the real you. Perhaps you need to go on anti-depressants again or if you are already taking them perhaps the dose needs adjusting? You don't need to go through this alone. There is help out there. (((BIG HUGS))) :hugs:

[Lizziesaurus]

The ad's didn't help, just made the mood swings more predictable. I was ok first thing at work, a bit on edge but ok then work whinged at me. Like I said I know I create my own mess but I can't seem to help it. I already feel like a complete failure, I don't need them to punish me as well, my own thoughts are punishment enough :weep:
I hate crying in front of any of them, but (and to quote the book the bell jar) I feel like a glass that's too full and unsteady and if someone just looks at me too closly the tears just fly out.
They want to speak to me again tomorrow and I'm dreading it,I really don't know what to do for the best, I really just don't see a way out.
I really want help and someone who'll listen and maybe tell me everything will be okay. I still haven't got an appointment with a specilist yet but I am seeing my doctor next week, I can't wait, I've had enough now.

[Tyke]

Hi Lizz
You need to tell the doctor how you are feeling. Maybe as Shoegal says they may be able to adjust the dose of your ads to help, or maybe you need to try a different ad. What are you currently taking? Perhaps counselling of some sort may help - is this what you are going to see the specialist about when you get your appointment? Maybe your GP could chase this up for you?
Work is tough when you are down, but there is help and support out there, hang on and don't be afraid to use any of the help that is available (including No More Panic), you are not alone.
Tyke

[andrew]

Hi Lizz,
Maybe the stress from work is making everything else feel so much worst at the moment. Maybe writing it out might help or posting for advice.
Try not to give up hope for yourself or your future, it really is half the battle. You take care.

[harasgenster]

Hi Lizz
Sorry to hear you're feeling bad. Do you live alone? You sound like me when I did, is all! The longer you stay on your own, the more the thoughts start bothering you. I'm not saying that's all this is, but are you seeing enough of friends and family? Could you see more of them?

The only reason I'm saying this is because you sound like you're in the kind of state I was in but I found that trying to see more people started to relieve it a bit. You sound like you need a rest, it's like you're on a merrygoround at the moment and you need to get off - does that sound familiar to you?

[uk23]

Hey Lizz,

There was a period lasting 6 months a go when I felt the same, I even started self harming again hoping it would help. You can always talk to us here or pm me if you like. Its hard but remember you are strong.

[Mic]

Hi Lizz you can go on and look forward to when the ups say that way, work will have to understand they have no choice and your main concern is to get better, I had a few weeks that were so up and down I thought what's the point of this and the point is I want to get better and I am making good progress now and if someone told me 5 mth ago I would be feeling this good I would of doubted them very much.However bad you feel read a book or pamper yourself, work can't keep on at you and it is wrong of them to do so, if you had a pot on your leg or a huge scar somewhere they wouldn't treat you that way, you will be ok it may take a bit of time but keep looking forward and if you hav a bad day so oh well so wha tomorrow may be good and look forward to it, have you read Claire Weekes books they helped me no end as did this NMP forum, we are all going through the mill but we will all come out of this better people for the experience and more able to recognise and deal with the anxiety symptoms, good luck and keep us posted the light at the end of the tunnel will soon become larger.:hugs:

[Lizziesaurus]

Thankyou guys, it really does me alot to me that there are some people out there that care :)
Work pissed me off again today, gave me a final warning, never even had a written warning although they say I have so going to appeal against that.
I'm also going to complain how HR spoke to me, saying I have an attitude problem and that I didn't say good morning with a smile when they (HR) walked in. Surely that's nothing to do with everything that's going on?! She was also saying she had depression, yet there was no sympathy. She kept saying to me how I obviously don't care and I was basically just made to feel worthless, which to be honest isn't helping me. I understand where they're all coming from but if they don't speak to me with A) some respect and B) with some understanding, what the hell do they expect back?
Luckily one of my friends works in HR so I'm now asking him for advice.

[honeyp1e]

Hi Liz hope your feeling all up very soon am in the same boat right now just always feeling DOWN i just can't see any light to end all this i don't no where to turn and i just feel its the end for me only for my kids i wouldn't be here anymore i have been my doctors so many times i don't wanna go anymore as i no am wasting there time as there answer's (JUST ANXIETY) am walking round 24/7 with that horrible tight band feeling just below my ribs and it never goes away..................