Special occasions like today!

[jen2503]

I seem to have a thing about special occasions, granted todays its not as bad as it was but things like xmas, birthdays, christenings ect not sad occasions like funeral which is strange but happy occasions i get this allmighty fear of something bad happening!!

Like today its my hubbys birthday and tomorrow it is my birthday and i cant help but feel anxious, like as we are having a happy day that must mean im about to die or hubby is or someone i love is ect ect.

At christmas i was really bad but we all had the flu so i was too ill and tired to let the anxiety bother me!

I dont know what it is, its not an anxiety about going out or doing special things for these special occasions its purely that fact that its a special occasion and i feel scared of being happy and enjoying it! maybe its because on tv,sopas ect everything bad always happens on your wedding day or birthday or xmas?!

Help?! lol i dont want to ruin my hubbys or my birthday by being silly!

[bluesparkle]

hi jen

i have wasted so much of my life and lifes "happy occasions" in this way.
i totally understand what you are saying...
now my anxiety and panic are better controlled i can see how much ive missed with my kids etc...just by worrying and those awful "what ifs".
i have learnt to just get on with it...and kind of accept that this is part of me and worrying will not stop anything happening...
but also how many times have things gone wrong on these occasions ...well not many i bet.
this anxiety is horrid and i think it is very heightened when it is a special occasion...
i know this isnt much help but i wanted to let you know that you are not alone and it does get easier to live with...just try and concentrate on soemthing else...
oh and happy birthday to you and your other half :D
rach
x

[smb25]

Hi Jen and Blue,

I to get anxious on special occasions but for a different reason. Mine is to do with the fact it relates to being another year older!, another year closer to my mum dying! another year of reaching older age and getting ill! that type of thing.

I know its stupid because obviously these things are happening every day not just on birthdays etc. However the fact its an anniversary makes it signifcant.

I never used to be like this, its only been the last 18 months or so. But I can't help thinking on these occasions "I wonder if this will be the last xmas with my mum" etc, you get the picture.

I do try and fight it now and the last one wasn't as bad but just wish I was how I used to be!
x

[Rachel424]

I'm exactly the same. I'm super-anxious at Christmas time, I find it very stressful and exhausting to be honest. Birthdays are the same. I think it's the pressure from the expectation from family and friends that you should be happy on these occasions when you feel anything but happy.

[jen2503]

Thank you guys, well i fewlt a bit better yesterday but ive woken up today and my anxiety seems to be in overdrive!!

Im supposed to be going shopping this moring after taking my little girl to nursery and im terrified! i cant shake this off at all. i really didnt want to feel like this on my birthday, i cant remember the last tie my anxiety was this bad, why is like this today?!

[jaybops]

I get like this on special occasions, the biggest cause of anxiety for me is thinking about it days before the event, for example i have to go to a christening on sunday and I'm absolutely dreading it, but i'm trying to block out thoughts of it until the day and then concerntrate on things other than myself and the way i feel throughout the day itself.

Very much easier said than done and something i've found i have had to work at over the years to have made even the slightest difference. 2 years ago if my partner said to me that we're going to a christening i'd have said to her: No, can't do it. Now though i'm more willing to try as i know i have the ability to make it through these situations. As much as i hate it when people tell me, you have to just push yourself beyond your own comfort barrier in order for your mental state to improve :(