Will everything definitely go back to normal?

[harasgenster]

Ok, I feel like I've already covered this with some of you and you've already given me advice. Thanks for all the support. I just need some more reassurance because I'm struggling to stop the worry!

I wrote on another thread how I feel that problems with my bladder (needing to go constantly) have weakened my pelvic floor (by going constantly for a year!) I have been doing kegel exercises and can hold them tense for longer than I used to be able to but haven't noticed a difference in the size of my vagina.

I know I'm not massive and that to most it wouldn't be a problem but this year I have not had one session of intimacy (best way I could put it!) that I can say I totally enjoyed. Unfortunately, I met my bf just after the illness started so this means I have never enjoyed totally it with him and have been putting it on a lot! First my bladder just made it too uncomfortable and then now that the bladder problems are starting to go, I just can't feel it! I used to be able to feel everything - as if my muscles were squeezing around it - but now it just feels a bit, well, slack. The sex isn't bad, I just find it disappointing. Not because of anything my bf is doing but just because I can't feel it like I could with exes before I had these problems. My bf is no different from them, before anyone asks! But this makes me feel rotten, because I want my sex life with this bf to be as good as it was with other people and I also just miss my body being the way it was!

I know it's just a small problem but my mind has honed in on it over the past few days - it was just a nagging little worry at first - and now it's making me upset. I've started refusing my bf because I just don't see the point anymore!

Sorry if it's too much TMI but I just need reassurance. If I keep doing the exercises will my body go back to how it used to be? I just need to believe that this is reversible!

Thank you :)

[harasgenster]

Thanks Dahlia
I think it's a combination of many things. I think I'm being put off by discomfort from my bladder (although this has improved dramatically) and I also think it's a large part psychological. I don't think I am "in the mood" enough, really. Ever! Which is probably just stress. But that just means that nothing we do (non-penetrative stuff) is really that good. I felt that the changes in my body were making this even worse!

I hadn't thought about medication but you have a good point! When I was with exes I was on a different medication to what I am now. Hm...

I started feeling better last night when doing the exercises as they did suddenly feel a lot stronger than they were. I think this is a lot about me telling myself I won't enjoy it. The thought suddenly occurred to me yesterday. I'd already started to feel self-conscious for a stupid reason. A few ex-boyfriends had made a point of mentioning that I was small there but I said something to current bf (don't know how it came up!) like "yeah, but I'm pretty small there anyway" to which he answered. "No you're not. You're normal". This upset me because I thought something was wrong with my body. Since everybody else had said, without me asking them, that I was very small, I assumed something had changed. If it hadn't have been for that comment, I probably wouldn't have noticed! Of course, he didn't mean any harm and doesn't understand why I would have any kind of emotional connection to that part - why I would give a crap about what size it was etc (though I'm sure he'd be upset if I dissed his willy!) So I think I'm just thinking "there's no point, I'm too big" each time we have sex and then I just don't want to do it anymore, so I don't enjoy it.

Self-esteem again, innit! Everything always just boils down to self-esteem!

Thanks for your help, and I'm definitely going to have a look at the leaflet I got with my pills. That one hadn't occurred to me at all!

[paula lynne]

Hiya, maybe some books on Self-Esteem may be an option too.x
I was diagnosed with "a bulky uterus" following an diagnostic laproscopy......whatever the hell "bulky uterus" means, Im still at a loss! It made me feel like I wasnt normal for a longtime, and I went off sex. Hubby was understanding, but it took me ages to get over this mental block. You can get over this, and giving yourself time to do so is so important. I hope you feel better about your unique and wonderful womanly bits and bobs very soon! x:winks:

[harasgenster]

Thanks Paula Lynne :) I bought a book on self-esteem and have been trying to read it but I'm not very good at concentrating at the mo. I'll have another go with it anyway :)

[paula lynne]

Brill :yesyes: Just take your time, and underline the things that jump out at you, so you can refer back when you need too. x