Anxiety/Panic Attacks when on Holiday/Away from Home

[MrBriggsie]

Hi Everyone.

I've just stumbled across this site today. I've been suffering from panic attacks and anxiety for about 10 years now and it only occurs when I am away from home, more than likely abroad. I have had it when I have been away in the UK, but it is easily overcome by watching TV etc.

I first had one when I went to Scotland to meet a friend I spoke to on the Internet. I was 16. I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't sleep, I hardly ate anything and all I could think about was getting home as soon as I can, incase anything happened to me.

I've experienced this on many holidays since, I have friends in Amsterdam, I've had this feeling there on my occasions, but now I am used to the City and can fill my day up with interesting "distractions" I don't feel as bad when I visit the city. I also had this in Greece when I went on a holiday with many friends, I survived the holiday but due to the throughts in my brain and the constant physical features of my anxiety I felt like I needed another holiday when I got back!

It's such a horrible feeling, all rational thoughts are gone, I become very OCD about things and keep checking I have my passport and tickets and room key to make sure I don't get stranded. I can't talk to anyone new, I can't sleep, I threat that something bad is going to happen to me, I sweat, clammy hands, I can't breathe normally and the pit of my stomach feels like a big black hole.

On Monday I stupidly went on Holiday to Spain. My rational head told me I was excited and that I needed a break, I was nervous about having a panic attack, but thought I am now a dab hand at overcoming these and last time I went to Amsterdam, I had it for about 20 minutes, then it went. I arrived in Spain on Monday night and as soon as I got my bags from baggage reclaim, I felt it. This time it was soo bad and I was soo out of my mind with worry, I didn't eat at all and I didn't sleep. I kept having constant baths and smoking one after the other. I then went on-line and booked a flight home. I came home the next day.

I now feel like an absolute loser, I gave in to this anxiety, but it seems to be worse than ever before. Does anyone else suffer this when abroad? I love travelling, I love flying, I just wish I could get over these panic attacks and be normal. I'm ashamed to talk about it to anyone in my family. Please help. :blush:

[MrBriggsie]

Ok, to top it all off, I'm currently going through redundancy at work and this has, for the first time, brough on anxiety whilst being at home.

I'm finding it difficult to sleep and all I can think about it the stuff that's going on in work, I've constantly got an upset stomach and my toilet functions are totally up the wall!! I feel sick and suffer from the worse headache possible. I'm just filled with dread and worry constantly and I hate it.

I really need help and your support guys, for both issues.

I need an escape

[blueangel]

Hi there

Sorry to hear that you're having a lot of problems at the moment, but you clearly have a lot of stuff in your life that is not in your control, such as your job.

What a lot of us with anxiety have found is that not being in control sets us off, and it sounds as though that's the same problem for you. I'm not surprised that you're feeling so unwell, as redundancy is a really crappy experience. As well as the practical things about money, it's a kind of rejection, which will make us feel really bad about ourselves.

The thing about holidays sounds a bit more complex, but I think a lot of people get stressed whilst they're on holiday, so maybe it's not as odd as you think. Has anything ever happened to you while you were on holiday, that might make you feel "unsafe" while you're not at home. It clearly isn't an issue with travelling or flying, as you seem to be fine with these.

Try sticking around here for a while - there are lots of people who can help out with their own experiences, and try not to beat yourself up too much, we all have problems with not being able to meet our own expectations of ourselves.

[bazwelsh]

Hi :)

My husband and I were having a discussion only yesterday to decide whether to cancel the two holidays that we have booked to Spain.

I know exactly how you feel. I struggle majorly to be on holiday especially abroad. While I'm feeling anxious-free, we decide to go away as we feel a holiday will be good. As soon as i've booked it, the anxiety starts. My husband is a gem! he puts up with soooo much. We should have gone to Ibiza last October and I was fine until the night before when I went into blind panic and I was on 20mg Citalopram at the time. I got to the airport but couldn't bring myself to travel away so after about 10 mins of really bad panic, we turned round and came home. We already had one holiday booked at that time for this August, but then about 6 weeks ago we re-booked the Ibiza one!! now i'm really panicy again and the doctor has changed me onto Sertraline instead of Citalopram.

My problem is being away from my children. They are 17 & 20 but I still feel a tremendous amount of protection to them and I feel that maybe this is why I don't enjoy going away with just my husband. I feel I desperately need to get back home to where I am available should I be needed.

I can't offer you a solution but I wanted you to know that you are certainly not on your own with this and if you want to pm me, please feel free to do so.

Take care
Gaynor

[MrBriggsie]

Thank you soo much, that really makes sense about the situations I cannot control! I am not giving up, I still want to go on holiday and now I've been back for a while, I am dreaming about my next holiday (Totally forgetting about the anxiety/panic attacks, as per usual!!)

On a brighter note, I just found out I am keeping my job!! I'm soo happy. :yesyes:

Thanks everyone

[moomin123]

You are definately not alone with this - I posted on here yesterday as I am absolutely terrified of going on honeymoon with my husband in less than 2 weeks time. We got married last year and we had to cancel our honeymoon then and reschedule for 19th April and now as the time goes nearer I feel soooooo ill. I am in a constant state of fear, can't eat which in its self makes me anxious as I have issues with panic when I don't eat. There is no way I can cancel again, it was bad enough seeing the dissapointment on hubbies face last time. We are going to Miami for 2 weeks, luxury all the way, all my friends are jealous of where we are staying but whenever I think of it, it fills me with so much dread I can't cope, I really can't and I want to cancel, that is the only thing I know will make me feel better.
I am also on 20mg of citalopram and have some Oxasepam from the doctor from last year. I took a quarter this morning and don't think it did anything, might try half and see what happens, I just can't take this anymore, I am bad enough here at home and I am always worse when I am away, especially far away like Miami.
I honestly don't know what to do. I don't think I can help you but I wanted to let you know that you aren't alone.
x

[Willis7864]

Hi Everyone.

I've just stumbled across this site today. I've been suffering from panic attacks and anxiety for about 10 years now and it only occurs when I am away from home, more than likely abroad. I have had it when I have been away in the UK, but it is easily overcome by watching TV etc.

I first had one when I went to Scotland to meet a friend I spoke to on the Internet. I was 16. I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't sleep, I hardly ate anything and all I could think about was getting home as soon as I can, incase anything happened to me.

I've experienced this on many holidays since, I have friends in Amsterdam, I've had this feeling there on my occasions, but now I am used to the City and can fill my day up with interesting "distractions" I don't feel as bad when I visit the city. I also had this in Greece when I went on a holiday with many friends, I survived the holiday but due to the throughts in my brain and the constant physical features of my anxiety I felt like I needed another holiday when I got back!

It's such a horrible feeling, all rational thoughts are gone, I become very OCD about things and keep checking I have my passport and tickets and room key to make sure I don't get stranded. I can't talk to anyone new, I can't sleep, I threat that something bad is going to happen to me, I sweat, clammy hands, I can't breathe normally and the pit of my stomach feels like a big black hole.

On Monday I stupidly went on Holiday to Spain. My rational head told me I was excited and that I needed a break, I was nervous about having a panic attack, but thought I am now a dab hand at overcoming these and last time I went to Amsterdam, I had it for about 20 minutes, then it went. I arrived in Spain on Monday night and as soon as I got my bags from baggage reclaim, I felt it. This time it was soo bad and I was soo out of my mind with worry, I didn't eat at all and I didn't sleep. I kept having constant baths and smoking one after the other. I then went on-line and booked a flight home. I came home the next day.

I now feel like an absolute loser, I gave in to this anxiety, but it seems to be worse than ever before. Does anyone else suffer this when abroad? I love travelling, I love flying, I just wish I could get over these panic attacks and be normal. I'm ashamed to talk about it to anyone in my family. Please help. :blush:


You deffenntly not on your own.ive suffered the same for over 10 years.ive also did the same as you and come home early on one or two occasions .its bad to say I'm glad I've found this site and other people are feeling the same way as I do.i don't know how to fix the problem as I'm going away to Florida in the morning with my family.and I worse the last few days than I've ever been in the the past.my wife ad son are so supportive and I know I got to try and fight this for my Young son.its going to be the hardest two weeks I've ever done.
Hope some one can find a solution to our anxiety problems about going abroad.
Take care
Andrew

[Laura_ant]

Hi.

I have just found this thread, I know it is an old thread but I was hoping maybe someone may still be keeping an eye out for posts.

I am 27 years of age and have been suffering with anxiety/depression for around 7 years. I think this was mainly caused by my fear of being on holiday. Before this all came about I loved going on holiday I would not want to come home at the end now I want to come home before I have even put my bag down in the hotel room. I have paid more money than the holiday cost me to get myself Home before now yet I still put myself through it and try again each time thinking I am cured I will be fine this time. Earlier this year I went to Spain with my partner for 5 nights (1st of 3 holidays booked because like I said I had told myself I was cured). I managed to stay for the full 5 nights but the whole time I was just in a state of panic and dread, not very enjoyable for me or my partner really. Usually before this in day to day life I handle myself well don't worry about too much wouldn't really say I am an anxious person when it comes to normality but after this holiday that all changed. I was positive and happy in airport expecting I would be home in a few hours all would be back to normal and I would be fine. That did not happen. Once I had arrived home I could not seem to get out of the state of panic and dread, at one point I got that bad my mum called a crisis team because I had not necessarily said the words but she was sure I was suicidal (looking back was I? I am not all that sure this time is a painful blare looking back now). After a very hard weekend and a trip to the doctors I tried to just get on and figured I would just calm down in time, this was in May. I managed to keep "normal" for a while but by July I suffered a breakdown and had to take time off work, stay with my brother, change my medication and attend counselling sessions. Needless to say the other two holidays were then also cancelled.

I am now back in work have been for 1 month and I am starting to feel abit more myself again. So a 5 day holiday took me 5 months to recover. Is it really worth it?

I am not sure what I am hoping to gain from writing this post if anything. Suppose it is just comforting to finally get it out there in writing to people that might actually understand the feeling and may be able to give me more than.. 'Ooh that is a strange one isn't it' or the ever encouraging 'maybe you should just not go on holiday then'

If you are reading this thank you for taking the time :)

Laura

[randomforeigner]

... checking I have my passport and tickets and room key to make sure I don't get stranded. ...
I also like not to be stranded in some far-away place. This week I was away to attend a course and in the evenings I've been in a hotel, and haven't had anything better to do than to hang around this site, while listen to internet radio, and checking the news, watching the odd online tv program etc. I don't think I stress out exactly but it sure is better at home where you have things to do in the evenings.