Deleting [Archive] - No More Panic

NervousNellie

30-03-11, 22:14

I tried taking a break and then came back, but whenever I need help the most, my posts are never answered. It's more frustrating and is just causing more panic for me because then I think that nobody is answering because something is really wrong. So I thought it would be for the best the just delete my entire profile so I'm not tempted to try again and be disappointed again.

Spongeballz

30-03-11, 22:28

Nellie darlin, are you sure you're not overreacting? I've just looked through and every thread you've ever made has had at least one reply, with the last 4 posts you've made getting 5, 3, 2 and 9 replies respectively. At the end of the day, people can only answer on threads they feel comfortable answering on or have experience with, it's better that than giving you good advice. If it's not going to be best for you to continue using NMP then perhaps quitting is for the best, but it seems like when you ask for advice you're getting it..
Big :hugs:, hope you think this one through :)

Spongeballz

30-03-11, 22:29

I lied, 2 out of 34 of your threads haven't been answered, though that's a fairly high ratio that have, don't ya think? :)

allergyphobia

31-03-11, 11:10

one of which was a duplicated thread which 3 people answered!

Nellie I am sorry you have felt like people haven't helped you on here, but I have personally replied to you and you seemed happy on that thread with the replies you got... so I am a little confused. It would be a shame for you to leave but if this is making you feel worse perhaps it is best. This forum is not just about taking, if we all did that it wouldn't be the community it is.

All the best
AP
x

eeyorelover

31-03-11, 17:07

I really hope that you reconsider leaving. We've all felt as if we were somehow out of the loop. As if we don't get the replies that some others do. After dealing with anxiety for as long as I have, I've come to the conclusion that it's just another one of those tricks our brains play on us. Another 'what if'....What if I'm the only one who feels this way?? What if they don't like me or don't care?
Neither is true but somehow it can seem SO true that we can start to isolate ourselves from everyone around us without even knowing it.
There are loads of posts on NMP and sometimes, especially in sections of the site were there are lot of new posts every day, some don't get replies because they end up farther down the list of new posts.
But it is an awful feeling to look at a post you took the time and energy to create and see that no one has replied. Please know tho that it isn't because the members don't care or that you aren't an important member here! NMP is like a family of sorts. A sometimes dysfunctional but always loving family. :)
xxx
Sandy

NervousNellie

06-04-11, 18:46

I was in the midst of a 3-day long panic attack just recently. I looked for help on this site and ended up deleting the thread because I never got any answers. I posted 3 times on there, saying please help and.....NOTHING. It's very frustrating, very scary and disappointing.

I always try to answer people, especially the ones that don't have many responses to their threads because I know how scary it is to be going through this and not have any responses. Spongeballz, I would say that 4 out of 5 of those replies, or 8 out of 9 replies, were ME asking for someone to please answer! I've been on this site for over a year. I mostly look for reassurance that what is happening to me is normal for anxiety and not some other sort of symptom. In the recent past, I don't get that. So this site is not serving it's purpose for me. I'd love to stay, but what's the point if I'm not getting the help that I need?

nomorepanic

06-04-11, 19:06

Nellie

I am sorry that you feel "This website is useless"

People can't always reply if they have no knowledge of the problem I am afraid. I sometimes don't reply to threads as I don't feel I can offer any advice and I don't really know what to say !

I wish you well with your future recovery however

tnt808

06-04-11, 19:35

Nellie,

Sorry you feel you're not getting the help that you need. It can be frustrating at times, if you ever get really bad you can pop into chat, there's people there throughout most times of the day or night.
I know for me, I don't read the Health Anxiety forum- or the Symptoms. I am recovering from Health Anxiety, and I feel that it's best I stay away from posts that deal with that. Intentionally ignoring posts isn't how this site is. We all help each other , when and if we can. Best of luck to you x

NervousNellie

06-04-11, 19:56

Thank you everybody for your replies. It's funny how everybody chimes in on this subject. Look...I'm not trying to offend anyone. I'm saying this website isn't for me. And yes, Nicola, "This website is useless"....TO ME! It was very helpful for a long time, but maybe I've outgrown it by now. I understand that not everybody can reply - I'm not looking for "everybody" to reply, just someone. Someone to let me know that I'm not going crazy, that I'm not going to pass out, that I'm not going to die. You know, the same things that everybody else posts about!

On several occasions, I would come on here only to find that one particular member was posting the same thing, over and over again. Same problems every day, several times a day. This person had pages worth of responses and reassurances, but I guess my post was not as important? You mean to tell me that having pains in my chest is something uncommon that nobody else has experienced?

I've enjoyed being on here and have found that the advice that I did get in the past was very comforting and reassuring. But since that has stopped, I have no reason to be on here reading about other people's symptoms because then mine become worse, especially with nobody to talk to. I'm sure if any of you were in my position, you would see where I'm coming from. In the meantime, I'd still like to find a way to delete my profile, just so I'm not tempted to try again and be left alone. My famiy does that to me enough.

nomorepanic

06-04-11, 21:06

I personally never even saw your post at the time but cannot answer for anyone else I am afraid.

I just felt that one missed post did not warrant that comment to be honest.

You cannot delete your profile - we have to do it for you. What we actually do is add you to "removed users" so you can't logon again that is all. No posts are removed.

We can do that tomorrow for you if you want

bottleblond

06-04-11, 21:17

Hi nervous

I really wasn't going to reply again but the fact that you said you wanted all signs of you gone as you may be 'tempted' to login speaks volumes.

I'm sure no one ignored your post/s on purpose.

Take care and i hope things improve for you soon

Best wishes

Lisa

NervousNellie

07-04-11, 02:02

Nicola - Yes, please remove me.
And for the record, it has been on several occasions that my posts have not been answered. This is not the first time. I would not be removing myself if it was only on one occasion. Please take a look, if you have the ability, about how many posts I have deleted. There were several of them. I deleted them because there was no response. I've literally been talking to myself on here for the last couple of months.
Thank you in advance for deleting my profile.

LucyR

07-04-11, 02:10

Hi, I have had a look at some of your posts and it seems you did get answers to your questions like other people on here did?

shoegal

07-04-11, 05:59

Hi. You left NMP before and came back because you thought being away made you feel worse. I respect your decision to leave if you want to, but wouldn't it be better to take a break so you can come back if you ever need to? I wish you well whatever you decide. :flowers:

bottleblond

07-04-11, 09:11

Ach well sorted now anyhoo as member removed as requested.

Tyke

08-04-11, 17:58

It's a shame Nervous couldn't have just taken a break and come back later if this was all stressing her out, or perhaps she could have tried posting again with an 'urgent' or 'please help' in the title? I have only recently joined NMP and have been very impressed with the masses of information available and the many helpful people on the forums. I also find the site very user-friendly.

Things are now so much better communication wise than when I first had anxiety issues, where I had to wait for the post for an anxiety organisation newsletter once a month, containing very limited amounts of information in those long ago pre-internet days!

For the record, I personally find NMP an excellent, well run organisation. I have trawled the web to find suitable help for my anxiety situation and have found this site to be my favourite and certainly makes me feel that I am not alone.

Tyke

LucyR

08-04-11, 18:07

Hi, I think there is a lot of truth in the saying "patience is a virtue" If she had only showed a little more patience. After all, if she was really speaking about an emergency situation, its not here that she was needing it was a doctor! Perfect example of an impatient person who wanted instant results. Not possible unfortunately!

snowgoose

08-04-11, 18:50

I want to say how much this forum has helped me .
when my terror began I couldnt find anything or anyone to talk to ..a nationwide helpline when I felt as if I was interrupting someones tea:blush:
If only I had had the support and education here then :weep:
just a thought from the no smoking forum that helped me quit .
if in real ... {I am going to smoke and sod it mode .} ............we would post an SOS post ......and learned older members would post back fairly soon .

actually as I type I can see there are too many of us probably who would post SOS ..........just thinking though cos this is my lifeline now :winks:

one thing I do believe is this though ..................by replying to others with the solid advice we have been given [and maybe not taken to heart ] ........reinforces in us the truth that advice has given ....... helps others ...........and gives the poster an answer and knowledge they are not being ignored .
a good cycle of help given and passed on ........and a friend online :flowers:

hope I havent rambled and you get what I am trying to say :blush:

macc noodle

09-04-11, 00:43

Nervous Nellie obviously was seeking something that she could not achieve via NMP.

I think it is very hard sometimes when you are suffering with a mental health issue to know exactly what helps you and what doesn't. Fair play to NN if she felt it wasn't working for her being a member of NMP, she acknowledged it and decided to leave. Whether she returns at a later date or not will be up to her.

Hope all goes well for her. And thanks to NMP for being here for us when we need it!!

nomorepanic

09-04-11, 01:17

I have no issues with the fact that NMP does not help everyone but please remember it is a free site run by people that give their time freely to help others and then we have loads of members that take the time to reply to others in the hope that they help too.

What I do take offence to is comments like "this site is useless" just because no-one replied to a thread. If this is how you feel then leave and find another site that helps - don't post hurtful comments to me about the site I run. I am only human too and I do not need to be verbally abused !

We do find that most people just leave and come back as they want to but some like to make a big song and dance about it and have a go just to make themselves feel better in most cases.

If you don't feel that NMP helps then please just leave and not post a hurtful leaving thread that can upset loads of members that have helped you.

No-one pays any money to come on here so in that respect we do not OWE you anything but we do expect some respect at least.

shoegal

09-04-11, 02:20

Attention seeking springs to mind Nic.

It works both ways. You help others and hopefully you will receive some support in return when you need it yourself. Unfortunately some members are all 'take', and they are ungrateful with it. And I'm not talking about anyone in particular. It's just something I've noticed over the years, and not only on this website.

Tyke

09-04-11, 12:41

Agree with you totally Shoegal. Life generally has people who would never dream of doing anything for anyone else, but expect so much. Then there are those who are just the opposite. I think it always helps when we are able to see it from the other persons view and put ourselves in their shoes. Mutual respect when dealing with things that we are not happy with goes a long way to resolving these problems.

Having previously worked in customer service, I know how hard it can be when trying to keep folk happy. You can never achieve 100% as no matter what service you provide, someone will always find something they don't like. As Nicola states, this service is free and run by volunteers, if you don't like it just leave and find something for you that does help. End of story. I imagine that most of those who give their time to the admin team do so because they have had their own anxiety issues, or know of others who have and want to help people in similar positions. For the work they do I feel we should all be grateful.

For Nicola and all those on the admin team, I am sending you a virtual hug in my appreciation for all your efforts :hugs:

Tyke

bottleblond

09-04-11, 16:45

My personal opinion is....I joined NMP when i was so low in my life. I was an absolute wreck.

I found this site by accident and by jings, i am so damn glad i did. I joined and since then have made the most amazing friends, the support i have recieved is fantastic and on a whole, it's an amazing community to be part of.

Nicola was very poorly not too long ago and even suffered a heart attack. She could have easily thought 'stuff it' and closed NMP down but she didn't because she is a very caring person and wanted people like us to carry on getting and giving the support to fellow sufferers.

I doff my cap to Nic because without her, so many of us would be alot worse off.

Lisa
xxx
:hugs:

kibbutz83

09-04-11, 17:23

I just want to say that there are two sides to every story, and shouldn't EVERYONE be entitled to their opinion, negative or positive? I'd have to agree with NervousNellie when she mentioned about the fact that certain people on here have "hogged" the attention a little.. and other's are almost ignored :( If I recall there was a certain man who until recently was posting too many threads to keep up with! And although people knew he was not listening to them or taking them seriously, he and they just kept on posting :( I, personally found this extremely frustrating, and it increased my anxiety :(
I appreciate what Nicola is doing, she's a real trooper... but each to their own :)

nomorepanic

09-04-11, 18:08

There will always be people that hog the forum and demand more attention than others. We also find that generally those people do not help anyone else on here either.

If you don't get a reply to your thread then just "bump it up" again so it makes it active.

I read a lot of threads on here and think that I have nothing constructive to say so there is no point posting a reply at all. I am sure loads of others feel like that too.

I am not against negative comments but I don't think it needs to be rude or abusive that is all.

PanchoGoz

09-04-11, 18:31

She could of said "This site isn't the right way for me to get better"
rather than "this site is useless".

Tyke

09-04-11, 18:48

Yes, of course we are all entitled to our opinion and constructive criticism can be very useful, but surely Kibbutz, the amount of attention received bears some relation to what you have already put in? If you felt you had a poor response to something and tried again you would be more likely to succeed. If the person you mentioned 'hogged' the attention by his constant posting, surely that was a result of being very active on the site. I can understand your frustration if it seemed the postings were very repetitive, but the moderators would be able to step in if it was causing too many difficulties.

I just think we can all take things personally sometimes when we don't get much of a response to something, but I don't believe anything is usually meant by it. How could it be in the case of NMP when most people viewing the site know nothing about most of the folks posting on it?

Tyke

gypsywomen

09-04-11, 19:10

well no matter what .this site helped me learn to control my feelings ,, that cant be bad ,love to you all and your great work xxxx

kibbutz83

09-04-11, 19:39

Hi Tyke, his postings WERE EXTREMELY repetitive!!!! You obviously don't know who I am talking about? I believe (from speaking to other's via pm) that he caused a lot of consternation and in some respects he did make some people feel more anxious :( Yet people feel obliged to "attack" Nellie? Where's the sense of balance?

kibbutz83

09-04-11, 19:42

ps This went on for months, causing real distress to some of us! This is one of the reasons so many people have left nmp :(

suzy-sue

09-04-11, 20:07

Members can block other members and their posts pms if they desire .So no need to leave because thay feel obliged to read things they find of constant distress .You dont have to read what you dont want to .No one has attacked Nellie on here either .Sue

kibbutz83

09-04-11, 20:18

Sorry Sue, I would say people have "criticized" Nellie, rather than attacked her...

bottleblond

09-04-11, 20:27

Well it's all over and done with now so let's just leave it there.

Lisa

Vixxy

10-04-11, 11:09

I just wanted to say (just in case she comes back to read this) that there are often threads I see that have no replies, but I cannot answer because I have no background knowledge in their topic. I would rather not reply than to give false information to a person. It doesn't mean I don't care or that I can't be bothered to reply to them, it's just that I have nothing to say that could help them. It would probably be advantageous for you to think about your post from other peoples perspectives before coming to the conclusion that people are ignoring you^^

Elen

10-04-11, 11:33

bottleblond

10-04-11, 15:57

Vixxy

You hit the nail right on the head.

There are so many posts i read that i just can't reply to because i lack the experience or knowledge to do so. I personally would rather give no advice than give the wrong advice and perhaps make the person feel worse.

Lisa
xx