lior
27-03-11, 15:24
This has been the most I've cried for ages now.
My camera is broken and I need one.
Someone who was going to live in my rented room instead of me has dropped out last minute and I'm losing money for every day I can't find a replacement.
I've got lots of work to do that I can't even get my head around.
I have to babysit and face my family who tell me I'm snappy (have you got your period? no. have you got your period? i already told you, no. have you got your period?)
I'm so tired.
I'm not sure what I believe in politically and everyone's telling me their beliefs like it's what everyone else should believe, and I don't know I don't know! There is no one right way! Whatever you do someone is going to lose out.
My boyfriend let me down and made me cry and he doesn't understand why I'm upset. And now I won't see him because we're working at different times the whole of next week.
I don't want to see anyone or do anything. I want to cry in bed all day. But I've got deadlines to meet.
My family friend has a 50:50 chance of living and I cried a lot last week when I found out. Now mum tells me off for being upset about other things. I AM ALLOWED TO BE UPSET OR ANGRY ABOUT WHATEVER I WANT.
She tells me that she told me so about the girl and my rented room, WELL I KNOW, and I did follow her advice until everyone else told me otherwise. I should have trusted my instincts. But mum treats me like she still needs to 'teach me life lessons' sort of thing. I don't need her to tell me how I should have behaved now.
I don't know what I need from her. Not to see her?
I pulled myself together to travel back home but now I'm a wreck again. I don't want to cry in front of my family because then I'll have to talk, and maybe what I'm upset about doesn't seem like that much to them. But with the background of pressure of work it's TOO MUCH TO COPE WITH.
I feel like a fool. I trust in people and then they let me down. I have opened myself too much. I should harden myself again and be self reliant. I want to love Tom, I do, but it hurts me when he just does something silly. Still this is the first time he's hurt me, and it's been a while that we've been together.
Now it's not a comfort to think of him, it makes me sad.
My camera is broken and I need one.
Someone who was going to live in my rented room instead of me has dropped out last minute and I'm losing money for every day I can't find a replacement.
I've got lots of work to do that I can't even get my head around.
I have to babysit and face my family who tell me I'm snappy (have you got your period? no. have you got your period? i already told you, no. have you got your period?)
I'm so tired.
I'm not sure what I believe in politically and everyone's telling me their beliefs like it's what everyone else should believe, and I don't know I don't know! There is no one right way! Whatever you do someone is going to lose out.
My boyfriend let me down and made me cry and he doesn't understand why I'm upset. And now I won't see him because we're working at different times the whole of next week.
I don't want to see anyone or do anything. I want to cry in bed all day. But I've got deadlines to meet.
My family friend has a 50:50 chance of living and I cried a lot last week when I found out. Now mum tells me off for being upset about other things. I AM ALLOWED TO BE UPSET OR ANGRY ABOUT WHATEVER I WANT.
She tells me that she told me so about the girl and my rented room, WELL I KNOW, and I did follow her advice until everyone else told me otherwise. I should have trusted my instincts. But mum treats me like she still needs to 'teach me life lessons' sort of thing. I don't need her to tell me how I should have behaved now.
I don't know what I need from her. Not to see her?
I pulled myself together to travel back home but now I'm a wreck again. I don't want to cry in front of my family because then I'll have to talk, and maybe what I'm upset about doesn't seem like that much to them. But with the background of pressure of work it's TOO MUCH TO COPE WITH.
I feel like a fool. I trust in people and then they let me down. I have opened myself too much. I should harden myself again and be self reliant. I want to love Tom, I do, but it hurts me when he just does something silly. Still this is the first time he's hurt me, and it's been a while that we've been together.
Now it's not a comfort to think of him, it makes me sad.