Hello from sunny Spain

[Bryn Powell]

I suffered ny first panic attack 20 years ago and it escalated into full blown agoraphobia where I could hardly leave the house. Then after 3 years it went away. Unfortunately it came back 6 years ago and I have been suffering in silence since then. It's the usual - supermarkets, driving, trains etc. I can cope with life, I suppose, but I don't like doing certain things, but do them as they are necessary. Of course I avoid supermarkets and trains (amongst other things.) I'd like to understand two things. Why it went away for so long? It did! I could do everything (apart from flying) without a problem - I was living again! The second thing is, can I cure myself this time? I have no idea what the cure was first time, but it wasn't drugs or doctors.
Thanks
Bryn

[red]

Hi Bryn

I posted a reply on your message earlier, before I read this one. PA's seem to strike at any time, anywhere but can be greatly reduced if not gone altogether by doing what you are doing - not letting it stop you from doing things. The fear then gets less and less as time goes on - this is what you probably did before.

Don't know what your job is but if that has become more stressful or you have stopped doing some activity - exercise, or something other that is different, then you might want to consider some of the other alternative self help stuff shown on the site.

Change seems to be a key factor in Anxiety states - has anything changed with your environment or people that you are with or job change, house change etc? Doesn't matter if they have or if they are going to - they can be counterbalanced with alternative approaches. Let us know. And yes, you can cure yourself - the best ever remedy is self help - if you are not too sure how to do this after reading posts and the articles in the main website - ask on here, it really is a mine field of information and the people are great.

Take care

Red
x

[brill]

Hi bryn and welcome just reading your post and I believe that the only person who can really help you get better is YOU.You must want it and if you dont not even the best of doctors can help.That is what I am struggling with at the moment I,m to scared to get to much help because it would mean the symptoms will become worse before the get better.If you get what I mean.?
Maybe I shouldent post this because I cant put into words what I,m trying to say.
Anyway best of luck mate
Brill :)

[Meg]

Dear Bryn,

Excellent that you've got better before as you can do it again and this time it will be easier as you've already done the hard bit of recognising whats happened.

Last time it's possible that the source of the original problem passed and left you free to move on with your life, move forward without the fears.

As Red says, change is often a trigger as is any scare whether it be personal , global or affecting a friend or family member. Our memories store these things and feeds us the fear lines if it comes across anything similar.

Face your avoidances slowly and listen to whats it's warning you about and counter it each time by steadily exposing yourself to those fears.

What bothers you most ?






Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Bryn Powell]

What bothers me the most? Being stuck in traffic when I'm driving. Escalators on the underground. Standing in queues. Standing and talking to someone without having my back to a wall. Basically, any situation where I can't run away, where I'm trapped. How do I counter them? I avoid (where I can) queues, I avoid escalators. With the driving it happens at least 4 times a day. My vision blurs, my breathing gets difficult and sometimes my legs start to shake.

[kate]

Hiya Bryn,

All of the things you mention are the things that scare me too, plus loads more!

Unfortunately, the only way to overcome the fear is to face the fear.

This means not avoiding things but facing up to them instead.

I avoid loads of things still BUT when I have a panic attack ie the blurred vision, can't breathe etc I now make myself stay in the situation and tell myself that it has all happened before and that I WILL be ok.

It has taken me 20 years to get to this stage. Previous to this I would get the beginning of the panic attack, panic even more at the symptoms and make good my escape!

However, I was in the supermarket about 2 months ago, a BIG pet hate of mine!,and the familier panic started rising.

I wanted to run BUT I also desperately needed to get the shopping!

So, instead of running, I stayed. Slumped over the shopping trolley, heavy breathing and panting just hoping no one would come and ask if I was ok!

Anyway, within minutes it had passed. I felt like a limp rag but I hadn't run away!

I still have panics in the supermarket but I'm pleased to say that I just weather the storm no matter how bad I feel.

You just have to get to the stage when you accept the panics as just that and tell yourself that the same has happened dozens of times before and you will come out the other end without anything bad having happened to you.

It IS really hard, I know, but unfortunately, it has to be faced before it can be overcome.

Best wishes

Kate x

[Meg]

Kate,

I'm so pleased to hear your great progress. I thought we hadn't had Asda stories for a few weeks. Many congratulations indeed. Huge round of applause as I know how you've struggled with that situation.

Bryn

As Kate says - Just F Do It is the only way to make a move forward sometimes.

Take just one of those situations and practice it and practice it. The first few times will be grim but as you build up progress, anchor the feeling of success and dwell on how good it felt when you do it the next time. It will get easier with time without incident.

Watch what you say when you talk to yourself and your internal messages.




Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Bryn Powell]

Thanks Kate and Meg. I know I have to face things, I've been in a queue today for example, didn't panic so it was okay. I'm stuck in traffic at least 4 times a day but don't panic 4 times a day! Last time was about a month ago and I don't avoid that stretch of road either, I've been on it about 20 times since with no problems. When I'm in London and I use the tube, I just can't face the long escalators, even thinking of them now makes me very worried. I'll never be able to face them. Bryn

[kate]

Hiya Meg,

Have kept the Asda stories under wraps LOL.

But, as I said in my post, it has got easier as I now accept the panic associated with supermarket shopping and just let it wash over me.

My worst fear now is if anyone ever asked me if I was ok as I stand slumped over my trolley!!

Hasn't happened yet, though. Maybe it is only obvious to me and not to anyone else!!

Kate x

[Bryn Powell]

Kate. I was working in London about 4 years ago and I was having various panic attacks in the office (it was a very bad time.) One day I was in a meeting feeling very uncomfortable and just wishing I could get out of there. During a lull in the meeting one of my colleaugues said to me "You know Bryn, you must be one of the most relaxed people I have ever met!" And he was being serious! Inside I felt terrible and panicky but outside I looked calm and relaxed. Very odd. Bryn

[kate]

Hiya Bryn,

Yes I agree, it IS very odd.

Just makes you realise that we are much more aware of our panic than anyone else is.

I always feel like everyone must be looking at me and thinking "oohhhh there goes a woman having a panic attack".

Wow, perhaps us panickers look like "normal" people after all!!!!

Kate x