my 3 1/2 year old has to have an operation and Im so worried.

[Jeanine25]

my son has an undescended left testical which should have been operated on at the age of a year but me being me, scared to death he wouldnt wake up from the op, i kept putting off the appointments... the drs are aware of my anxiety and havent pushed anything on me...

My son should have been seen by the urologist yesterday but i rearranged and asked for the dr to call me which he did, this morning...
hes since told me that because of my sons age the testicle may need to be removed completely instead of being bought down into the scrotum like previously discussed..

Im so worried I cant stop crying... hes my little boy and I cant bare the idea of him being operated on.
He has one normal teste so him fathering children isnt totally out of the question but im really really worried he wont wake up from the op... im also concerned that because I have left it 2 years longer than recommended, the teste will be removed and the drs will do a biopsy on it for malignant changes :( I cant stop worrying...
I have read up on this alot and I have also read stories where some men STILL have the undescended teste as they didnt have it treated and some that are around 6 or 7 years old and just having the op..... why cant they leave my son just a few more years?? I know my anxiety will still be there but atleast for the next few years I can not think about it :( I sound so selfish I know but Im so scared.

[paula lynne]

Hi love, from one mum to another, I feel your pain.x
My son is now 10, and his has thankfully descended now, but I went through the same anguish as you for a few years.
They cant really leave it for a few more years as its best done young. Also, children heal much faster than adults. I know you are scared love, but this will be better in the long run. Even if they do remove the testicle, he will be able to function normally in every respect. Its awful thinking about the op I know, but he is going to be fine, these are highly trained specialists who will give him the best care possible.

You are blaming yourself that because you left it 2 years, he now has to have the testis removed. Its not your fault, I ignored my sons for years. Its the protection of a mother kicking in, perfectly normal feelings. You MUST talk to the surgical team about your fears, and go through everything. Your little one will be fine, and need lots of cuddles and treats afterwards, but will be up and about in no time, back to his old self. Kids are much stronger than we give them credit for, he will be fine. Dont think about the op, think about the benefits for him, the end result. Please look after yourself too as any mum would be worried, I wish you lots of love and send you my thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. Let us know how things go. :hugs:

[Jeanine25]

thank you for your reply...

did your son have the op, then????
The dr who called will be the one doing the op, he didnt say for definite that they would remove the teste but he definitely suggested so :(

Can they become malignant at his age? Im terrified....

How did you cope, what did you do etc??? Im so thankful for your reply. xx

[paula lynne]

No, his came down about aged 8, but is still not 100%. They said to leave it.
The doctor is covering the all the bases, he may remove it during the op, but may not. Hes just informing you of the possiblities. The chances of him having a malignant tumour due to undesended testis is about 0.1%, its usually seen in untreated older males over the age of 40. The best advice I can give is to talk to the team who are treating you, ask questions til you are satisfied. Write things down if it helps.x

[Jeanine25]

so how come you were able to leave your sons? the drs are going on at me now.. :( on the phone earlier urging me to get it sorted :(

Nicholas' (my son) left teste although undescended, is palpable in the groin....
I actually read stories like your sons where it came down at a later age and when I asked the dr ealier he said the chances of that happening is near zero percent now:(

Thats another reason I dont want the op to go ahead... just INCASE it can come down...
Was your sons totally undescended?
xx

[paula lynne]

The child nurse said that I had to gently manipulate it down when he was a baby, so to increase the chances of it coming down on its own. Well, it must have worked. It wasnt as high up as your sons, so thats why the docs are urging you to go ahead with his operation. Youre his mother, and you must do what is right, but seeing as its in the groin, its probably best if he has the op as its too high up to come down naturally I think. Im sorry for your turmoil, keep asking the docs the questions and weigh up the pros and cons. Nobody can force you to do what you dont want to do, and ultimately, its your sons health and best interests that need to be put first. Best wishes x

[Catalyst]

Hi. I just wanted to encourage you to trust the doctors on this one and be brave. I know it's hard, but if they are insisting that this should be done asap then leaving it a few more years is only going to worry you more when the time finally comes around, isn't it?

My son is now 7. He had surgery at 4 weeks old for a stomach problem. I was very worried, especially as he was so tiny, but it was absolutely fine! In June he will be having another surgical procedure for another problem. Again, if I allow myself to dwell on it I will be in danger of cancelling the surgery, but I have to believe that I am doing the best thing for him in the long run by getting his problem fixed. Incidentally, he is also being reviewed by a urologist in November for a possible undescended testicle (they only observed this as a possible issue last year) and also phimosis of the foreskin, which may require circumcision if it doesn't correct itself.

So, like I said - I do know that it's hard. I feel for you, but I'm sure you will get through this anxiety for your son. And maybe he'll even thank you for it one day!!! x

[mummymurray]

Hi, You are not alone.

My son also 3.5 has to have open heart surgery at Gt Ormond Street within the next 3 months. Scaring me to death too :(

[eeyorelover]

It's not selfish to be worried for your child! IT'S COMPLETELY NORMAL!!!

Get a second opinion if that would help you to feel more comfortable but you have to make an informed decision for your child.

I have 4 children and understand completely the worry and fear that you are experiencing. My oldest had 2 surgeries and it was really scary.
Make sure that if you decide on surgery that you have someone there to wait with you, it really does help to have a support system in place.
Bring plenty to do to keep your mind as occupied as possible.
Don't be afraid to ask questions and ask as many times as it takes to completely understand the procedure.
(((HUGS)))
xxx
Sandy

[JustBenn]

Hey, Jeanine25

Hope everything is great,
Just came across this and was wondering how things are with your little son?

Has he had the op?

[Jeanine25]

Hey, Jeanine25

Hope everything is great,
Just came across this and was wondering how things are with your little son?

Has he had the op?

Hi ya, my son is now 4 & I refused surgery!
I tried massage techniques which have lowered the testicle considerably!
Although it still springs back to the groin I can atleast manipulate it in to the scrotum which is more than can be said for last year or the year before!
Regardless of dr advice I will not be allowing surgery to go ahead!
However if when my son us old enough to be able to decide for himself that he wants surgery on his left testicle ( that's if it hasn't fully descended ) I'll be more than supportive of that decision?

My mind was made up when speaking to mothers in the same situation who were bullied into surgery only to have other issues arise and since, as stated, manipulation if the teste appears to be making an improvement naturally, I see no cause to put my 4 year old thru the op!
Thanks for your post :)

---------- Post added at 02:54 ---------- Previous post was at 02:52 ----------

Do excuse my typos, autocorrect on the iPhone appears to be in over drive lol xxx

[macc noodle]

At the end of the day, the choice is yours since your son is too young to make his mind up.

I do not have any experience of this particular problem with my boys but I know that if I were in your shoes and not happy with the consultant's advice, I would ask for a second opinion.

Then you can review your position on this with clear confidence that you have two professional opinions which can then sit aside your opinion to enable you to form a final decision.

Personally, I would be rather concerned about the fact that the consultant is of the opinion that it could cause problems later in life which may impact far more on your son than having the op. now. And, I suffer dreadfully from HA and fear of hospitals/doctors etc but I would have to be brave and get on with it if I was prejudicing my child's health.

Macc Noodle

xx

[Jeanine25]

At the end of the day, the choice is yours since your son is too young to make his mind up.

I do not have any experience of this particular problem with my boys but I know that if I were in your shoes and not happy with the consultant's advice, I would ask for a second opinion.

Then you can review your position on this with clear confidence that you have two professional opinions which can then sit aside your opinion to enable you to form a final decision.

Personally, I would be rather concerned about the fact that the consultant is of the opinion that it could cause problems later in life which may impact far more on your son than having the op. now. And, I suffer dreadfully from HA and fear of hospitals/doctors etc but I would have to be brave and get on with it if I was prejudicing my child's health.

Macc Noodle

xx
The private dr I saw did tell me that the ''later in life risks'' such as cancer of the teste is so over exaggerated these days and a lot use it as scare tactics.
He also told me my son would live a happy life with just one fully descended- however, he was advising me to have the op for my boy because he believes its ''what is right''- pretty much like its supposed to be ''right'' that a woman has 2 breasts.. however, I came to the conclusion through much research that who can judge what is and is not ''normal''?

One dr said to me, is it not normal to have a downsyndrome child? how can anybody define what ''normal'' really is.... That is very true.

a lady I spoke to was bullied into having her son have the surgery because she was made to believe it would have an impact on his life later on- however, she is now telling other mothers to follow their own instinct as she wishes now she had refused when she had the chance...

I will continue to get my son reviewed for his testicle- both appear the same size and the second it starts causing him any trouble I will indeed do something about it but since I have been told that nothing abnormal can occur until puberty I have decided I will try to naturally get the testicle to descend on its own via massage techniques which was suggested to me by a man who had the same condition.. It may not work for everyone but so far I have seen somewhat of an encouraging improvement.. Lets hope it continues to be an improvement :) xxx