i'm cracking up

[Tracy68]

I am i really am......i have no idea what to do anymore :weep:
I should right now be happy with things (i think) husband trying to start up his own business, bills are paid (again i think), a camping holiday booked but no i'm as miserable as sin.
I posted not long ago about throat problems and they're still there, so now i've convinced myself i have the big C. Not long before that i'd convinced myself i had bowel problems (not going into all that). Oh and before Christmas my hair started to fall out which i did discover in the end was something called Telogen Effluvium. That was horrible but even worse now as every new hair that grows through is GREY. I'm constantly tired and when i say tired i mean tired. I can sleep every night for 9 hours and wake up shattered. So what the hell is going on. Admittedly we went thru a bad time from april 2009 to april last year and its still not completely sorted out. How long can things affect you? Am i just mad? Now i'm wondering if i should be posting this in health anxiety or should i put it in depression or symptoms.....someone shoot me

xxx:scared15:

[cassie1975]

Hi Tracy, if you feel like this maybe you should take a trip to your G.P and talk it through with them. I found with anxiety that it can creep up on you unawares !! I know its hard to deal with but take one day at a time !!

[snowgoose]

Hello Tracey :)

no .you arent going mad at all :hugs: ........just feels like it xx

a wise old soul told me once when I had exact same exhaustion symptoms and aches and pains which to my mind was cancer of course :weep:

It took a long time for your body to start reacting so violently to constant anxiety [which we dont clock at first] .................so an over night recovery is completely unrealistic. it took months and possibly a year or so to get your poor body to start kicking back ........so recovery is a longish process of course.but very achievable . just my view mind:flowers:
baby steps Tracey ..............your body and mind are craving rest ..........listen to them . It will get better ...........you have I wonder had a very stressful time .

Dont know if you are on meds or getting CBT ?
Try to get out for a stroll in fresh air each day and sniff the daffodils and listen to the birds ...sounds daft .......but it grounds me a bit :blush:

you are an older poster than me ...so you know the drill better than me :blush:

be gentle with yourself always ..........and one little job each day to complete ?
hugs xx

[snowgoose]

sorry for spelling your name wrong Tracy .........and when I refer to older poster I mean in time on forum :blush:

[Tracy68]

Lol Snowgoose now that bought a smile to my face :D
You'd of thought by now that i would know the routine but i don't i'm one of those that can hand out advice etc but never take it.
No idea if i've ever posted on here about what me and my family went thru, but erm try to cut long story short i'll copy and paste lol just found my old post
God knows where i start this but here goes.
I've been low and depressed for a long time....but things are at an all time low right now. Before christmas last year we had a phone call from my sister in law in a state saying that her marriage was over and that her husband of 2 1/2 years had been beating her and was an alcoholic etc etc....you get the picture. So we told her to come down to us with her 2 kids, stay a while and get herself sorted out. Well anyways 2 weeks before she was due down she rang and begged us to allow her husband to come with her who had promised that he would change and that a new start is what was needed. Well what could we do....if we said no she'd stay and god knows what would of happened. So on April 11th they moved in.

On April 14th we had kicked him out, after he started hiding cans of special brew (well strong stuff) in our house, had hit the sister in law and was basically being a pig.

On April 17th we had been blackmailed (i don't suppose thats the best word to use, but thats how it felt) into letting him back in because otherwise she was gonna go with him and it weren't fair on the kids. Anyways i laid the law down saying if he touched one drop of booze he was out.

For 3 months it was so so.....no he hadn't drunk a drop but they had no money, my sister in law had got a job but he took the money....we weren't getting help with any bills and got into debt. July 24th I had had a go at him....nothing bad. Well he went out with his daughter and step daughter...his daughter being 2.....bought special brew, went and sat by the river and got drunk. Came back to our house and threatened me and turned into the most evil man i'd ever ever seen. My husband told him to pack his bags and leave first thing.

He went and since then...........the police have been rung on numerous occasions BY HIM saying that we were all child abusers and neglecting all the children in the house. He phoned social services and told them my husband was messing with the kids...including mine. My sister in law then overdosed, I literally had to save her life, giving her mouth to mouth and pumping her chest (never had to do that which scared me). We've had phone calls, text messages, horrible emails...the list goes on.

Well we're now on Oct 12th and my sister in law STILL here with her 2 kids....oh did i mention we live in a 2 bedroom house. She still got a job but does nothing at all to help round the house. She works nights which i appreciate is hard but i work, i still have to do stuff round the house. I've now had enough.

I'm so so so tired, my ectopics are really bad, i cry at anything and i feel sometimes like i'm gonna collapse and not get up. Ok so not much anyone can do but its a release being able to get it off my chest.

Sorry for the really long post.

xx



Now that was posted back in october 2009 and she finally moved out april 2010 leaving our house looking so tatty and dirty :mad: and we've still not managed to get it looking as good as it did. But anyways her ex still causes hassle, we've been back to court at least 5 times and he still sends threatening messages on facebook.

In between all that i changed jobs and my daughter was bullied. So i guess all in all it has been pretty naff.....but can you still be suffering from the stress and anxiety of that situation months later????

xxx

[snowgoose]

Bl***y hell Tracy ,

A complete nightmare of a time :mad:...............and hey you dealt with it ...and of course the rest of the family and a new job . it sounds to me as if you have spent most of your life looking after everyone else and holding your life together . heck lass ..................no wonder you are exhausted :hugs:
I admire your strength and spirit so much .
but hey ...........you got to cut yourself some slack here lady :flowers:

no ...........I dont expect you are over it at all . your body and mind are healing .......but I guess your guard is up on watch all the time .watching and waiting for next blow .adrenaline and cortisol racing around your blood .

be patient Tracy ....see your doc if you havent ........do as much relaxation stuff as you can .......hope you got something lovely for Mothers Day to pamper .xx
and feel proud for the effort you put in to your family [cant find medal smilie !] x