counselling good or bad?

[sarahblonde32]

ive been having counselling, just returned from 3rd session, but im so not convinced...im finding it really hard to talk, and have to really stop myself bursting into because i feel stupid, but surely thats the point? i want to let it all out!! today she tried to get me to 'visualise' some emotons, i chose calm and happy, but i had gone straight from work and i really coluldnt switch off, i cant do that visualising thing, it seems stupid and a waste of money. did anyone struggle with counselling? should i find another one?
sarah

[Philomena]

Hi Sarah,

Councilling isn`t for everyone, but if you are willing to try and give it another go, I suggest you do try it with a different councillor if you are finding this one isn`t much help.

Don`t be afraid to cry, a lot of people do at councilling because it is an opportunity to get it all out after everything has been bottled up for so long. It`s natural. But by what you say, you don`t sound very comfortable at all with the person you are with.

Not sure what they mean by visualising your emotions either, seems a bit odd. Also, you say you are paying for your treatment? Although others may strongly disagree, I don`t think I would be too keen on paying for it unless it was the only option. Your flag says you are in England, have you approached your doctor and asked about NHS councilling? That way if you are not happy with the councilling, you can go back to your doctor and tell him so. Or there are other organisations like MIND you can ring up and enquire about seeing someone if the waiting list for the NHS is taking a long time. I am sure MIND still give a free service. I have had grief councilling from them before and the councillor was lovely and really listened. If you ring them and tell them your concerns about your experience this time they will listen and try and accomodate your needs better I am sure. The woman I had did do visualisation stuff etc, but only I think on the last session once we had discussed everything that I needed to and I was happy to meditate etc at home if I wanted to.


Philomena.

[ditzygirl]

Counselling can be really useful. It depends on the connection you have with the counsellor and do you know what you want from it? As Philomena says, don't be afraid of crying at counselling. I have had two lots and cried through most of the sessions, but that is the point. The time is entirely about you, you should be able to express how you really feel. The visualizaiton technique is used in many situations, it is a way of focussing on who you want to be and where you want to be. They use this method to train sports people, military people etc.
I find it quite hard to learn but I kind of understand where your counsellor is coming from.
Counsellors and techniques vary, maybe you need to decide what you want to achieve and then share with counsellor. If you really feel you are not connecting go find another one. I have good and bad experiences with them, as do a couple of my friends.

Feel free to ask more questions if you are unsure of what to do.

Dx

[sarahblonde32]

hi,

thanks, the first session i knew i was going cry, that was the reason i went, to work out why i was crying and down alot, but i did feel silly, i dont think i connect with her maybe, she is nice, but i think she is using the wrong techniques for me. she uses drawing and this 'colour emotion' circle thing which i just couldnt grasp. all i want to do really is to talk to someone...and cry!! i want to find out what is causing this for me, not learn how to breathe as i know these techniques already. I wanted to make an appointment for myself rather go to my gp and wait for an nhs one thats why i ended up paying, but yes i think may find MIND or something.
thanks guys, may do one more then consider what im going to do.
sarahx

[Anxious_gal]

I think you have to trust the therapist first,
I had the same problems but I didn't totally trust my therapist.
I never cry or get angry in-front of people, its something I'm not used to,
thats my issue is being that vulnerable with someone.
I have so many bad feelings locked away I was not ready at the time to go there, to experience all that pain.
I'm still waiting for therapy at the moment, but I am feel I'm at a point where I'm ready to just let it out all.
so it could be that too, you'll feel when you are ready ,
try and meet your therapist half way,maybe next time your sad write it down and read out the letter in your next session.
also when your anxious its hard to feel anything but anxiety !

[blue moon]

Hi,I found therapy excellent i am lucky to have doctor in house.I do breathing and visiualization,it realy help me focus on the here and now.
Petra x

[deepreason]

Depends on the counsellor:
wonderfully helpful with a good one
total waste of time and money with a bad one.

My advice would be to shop around a bit. Don't be afraid to try one session and see how you get on with them.