Panic attacks - so alone

[GeorgiJ]

I started having panic attacks towards the end of last year and after some beta blockers and rest they went away. After a very stressful few weeks they returned last week and I hate them with all my heart.
I desperately wish that they would go away - and the constant anxiety that makes me feel so ill.
None of my friends understand and think I am being dramatic - so I have to keep it quiet.
I have always been so upbeat - loved stress and thrived on lack of sleep - loads of energy and a major caffeine addict - always helped other feel good and could handle anything...then some infant grief in the family and my mum having major emergency surgery and a few weeks later I became a quivering wreck.
Will they ever go away for real or have I ruined myself now and the switch can't be turned off???
Please - someone - anyone who understands how I feel comment.

[GeorgiJ]

I wrote this a few days ago to someone else - and just to give a background to why I get attacks thought I'd put it on here

Hi, I am writing this for advice or to see if anyone understand or has something similar?

Last year I had an incredibly difficult time, from my baby nephew dying at 8 days old to my mam having emergency surgery days after the funeral. It had been an event at work and it was high stress. I was also studying an open uni course and had an exam and lots of assignments due in.



I have always been a person who thrives on stress, gets addicted to being overtired and pushes myself to the limit...until now.



In November I was home alone and I sat down and had what I believed was a heart attack, but because of humiliation and fear I couldn't do anything, I believe I was about to die. My housemates came in an hour later and one of them just tried ot calm me down, which worked but I continued to have a light headed feeling and continual chest pains. Previous to this my menstrual cycle had gotten messed up (andfter 16 years of being totally regular) after nothing for three months it was incredibly heavy and painful.



After about a week or so of this (having convinced myself I had had a heart attack and was now suffering the after effects and would probably die at any moment) I went to see my GP. After checking my heart and lungs and other things, she said that I had been under massive stress and was suffering anxiety, my heart attack was a panic attack and I was prescribed beta-blockers on a onemonth trial. She explained that when I thought I could not breathe I was actually breathing too much - I was hyperventilating...which was making my head fuzzy and light headed and dizzy. She also advised me that if the symptoms were still there after the month that I would need to consider counselling - which worried me more - as I didn't want people thinking I had problems. I wasn't feeling particularly emotional but she explained that somewhere I was having a fear or worry and it was coming across physically.



The Beta blockers were amazing - they worked and after a month I felt fine so didn't get more - or the counselling. Until last week. I wsa away at a family christening for a few days and we also had an event at work, so I worked under a lot of stress for several days, then was away seeing family, then came back to work 10 or so days in a row without a break - which until last year would have been a great rush for me, but not now. I have had a few panic attacks in the last few months but as I have known what they are I have ben able to handle them and be fine after.



Last week I sat down - alone on my sofa as my housemates were in bed and felt my arm go dead. I was convinced I was having a stroke and so could not sleep, I kept going online and checking symptoms to try to convince myself that I was okay. This was another panic attack but it was harder to notice as it felt like a stroke and not a heart attack (not that I actually know what either feels like). I did not sleep and spent the whole night worrying. I was hyperventilation a lot but found some breathing exercises and managed to get it all under control, I still felt fuzzy and not really myself...like out of my own body. The next morning I felt as right as rain, after about 3 hours sleep.



SInce then I have been having several smaller attacks each day and even some bigger ones. I have also had IBS for about 2 years and that has gone crazy recently so I know that I must feel stressed.



I was given 'Kalms' from a friend to try, before I went back to the Doctors to get some more medication or help, but they don't seem to help. Wierdly tongiht they seem to have made it worse. It's like the worry is still there - but kind of in the background and then I keep checking my pulse and breathing because I think I can't breathe again - but everything is fine.



I don't know what to do now - I know if I go to the Doctor she'll probably send me to a counsellor, but I feel fine - I think. Except during attacks when I can't describe the imense fear I feel. I wish I could go back to being a person who's addicted to stress and overdoing it - but I am suffering when I do.



Does anyone know if this is it now? Have I switched on a panic switch that can't go off or will things ever go back to normal? I can't even sleep tonight because of it, I used to have sleep problems with it but seem to have been sleeping well recently.



I also might point out that I have always been a bit of a worrier, and often used to wake up in the night worrying but without any physical synptoms - and that I can see a definite pattern to this recent spurt of attacks and the previous one. I just don't know how to turn it off, I guess I also should find out from my GP again whether I have any health issue causing this.

I feel ashamed and alone - I feel my friends think I am attention seeking and being a hypocondriac - but it's awful.

[times71]

apart from the housemate part i could have wrote that myself... though i have learned looking online at symptoms is never a good thing, i went from a stroke, to a brain tumour.... where all along it was a panic attack... least i think... well, the fact im typing this 3 weeks on kinda proves it.. :flowers:

[londonchris]

Hi guys,

Panic attacks are horrible and you shouldn't have to feel alone as many people around the UK and the world experience the same thing every day.

The main thing you have to do is trust your GP - they've checked you out and nothing is wrong. You know how horrible it felt, but you now know that it was not a heart attack.

Another thing is you need to not ever google your symptoms looking for reassurance, because subconsiously all you will do is pick holes in things.

Panic attack symptoms mimic many different things and it's difficult to sum up one individual from another as different people experience different symptoms in a panic attack.

However, the main thing I've found helps is to stop whatever I'm doing and concentrate on my breathing. I know it's REALLY hard, but as your doctor said, panic attacks are caused by hyperventilation and fear.

You feel something funny through your anxiety, focus on it, that makes your mind panic and wonder what's wrong, which releases adrenaline into your bloodstream. Adrenaline has the exact same effect on the body every time. It will make your heart flutter, your muscles tense, your breathing becomes rapid, palms sweat. This makes you panic even more, your head starts to spin. You need to try to cut the cycle before it starts.

As soon as I feel a panic attack coming on, I stop what I'm doing, walk into the bathroom and splash cold water on my face. This stuns the body, slows down the breathing, and the cold takes your mind away from your symptoms. This small thing can break the cycle. I spend the next few minutes focussing on my breathing, reducing it to a five second breath in, seven seconds breath out. A total of five breaths per minute. As long as it takes to get my breathing to five per minute.

Once you have done this, you will have calmed down, blood will be flowing normally - and adrenaline free - and you will have broken the panic attack.

It takes practice, but it does work. Give it a go next time, I wish you luck :) I know it's scary, but it's all adrenaline, hyperventilation and fear. The body has only a limited supply of adrenaline so it will never last long.

[xJust_Sarahx]

Hi
I know how you feel because everytime i am feeling anxious etc i try my best to hide it and its obviously not always successful so i feel like i make a show of myself. I do feel that people who dont experience a full blown panic attack often or have never experienced one - dont understand what its like or get it. It does make u feel ill in general as it drains u and takes over ur life.. so yes i do understand how u feel and just remember your not alone. I have been like this for years now and still feel down as i think i should begin to understand it by now. If you want to chat sometime about things then dont hesitate to email me on here or my email address - sarahcollier1@sky.com

[KayleighJane]

Hi
I know how you feel because everytime i am feeling anxious etc i try my best to hide it and its obviously not always successful so i feel like i make a show of myself. I do feel that people who dont experience a full blown panic attack often or have never experienced one - dont understand what its like or get it. It does make u feel ill in general as it drains u and takes over ur life.. so yes i do understand how u feel and just remember your not alone. I have been like this for years now and still feel down as i think i should begin to understand it by now. If you want to chat sometime about things then dont hesitate to email me on here or my email address - sarahcollier1@sky.com

I agree, you must not feel alone, just taking a look at everyone on here shows that its a very common thing to go through. I still feel embarassed sometimes but try my hardest not to be because its an illness the same as any other kind. People that have no experience of anxiety or panic have no idea what its like at all, before I started going through this I will admit that I would have been one of those people thinking that it was all a load of rubbish but I can tell you now I certainly don't think that anymore . I have found that I have had to go back to the doctor many times for reassurance etc and I feel embarassed about that everytime I go but then thats what the doctors are there for. But please don't feel ashamed its just a thing thats happening to you at the moment and the counselling is a positive thing but unfortunately with negative connotations, you don't have to tell the world you see someone to talk to you can keep it quiet if it makes you feel better but theres nothing to be ashamed of, talking things through helps I find, I am starting CBT, counselling and hypnotherapy and I am really looking forward to talking it out with professionals who might be able to help me get to the bottom of my problems x

[GeorgiJ]

Hi all,
Thanks for your reassuring comments. It's funny -this site makes me feel like I am not alone - and like I am a normal person, with some trials to overcome. :-) Thanks so much for your posts.
I am so grateful for the practical advice and explanations, once I know what my body is doing I find it much easier to cope. The first attacks were the most difficult in that I thought it was something deadly - now it's a battle in my mind (ie I know I am going to be okay - just have to remember it) but I'll get through this.
I am thinking about the counselling thing - except I feel emotionally fine - but I understand that the point of counselling can be to help you find the hidden emotions and deal with them before they get really bad.

[pikaver23]

Thank you for this ... :)