PDA

View Full Version : Hello to all...



Taffy
12-04-11, 20:38
Evening all...

My name is Lee and I've come to the conclusion that I'm suffering from HA. This has been going on for nearly a year and started off with abdominal pains that in my head became Colon Cancer...my Father died from this 13 years ago at the age of 51. Its taken this long and the birth of my Son, who is now 3, to kick start my HA!

I had a Colonoscopy and Endoscopy last October that came back totally clear..the relief I experienced was immense! I was fine then until just after Xmas when the pains returned and I immedietly thought they missed something. Even though I know that its Ok and its probably just stress this has now spiralled and at present I think I've got a brain tumour due to a headache that I've had on and off for over a month, pain in my neck and ears. I know deep down that this is probably just caused by the tension but as you all probably know it hard to convince yourself of that!

I can't believe I'm going through this!....I'm a serving Firefighter and have been exposed to stressful situations and seen a lot of nasty things during my 15 years in the job and I've never once felt a flicker on anxiety / depression etc and have always had a strong mind and been very self confident...to be honest I could never understand how someone could suffer from something like this? I always thought it was a case of just pulling yourself together!....Little did I realise!

The members of my Watch do not know what I'm going through at the moment as when I'm in work I put on a brave face but i'm constantly thinking about my health. Its only a matter of time before this comes out if I dont get a handle on it soon! Which I am determined to do! For myself and my familiy. How can you live if you always think your gonna die!?!

I came across this forum a few days ago and after spending a few hours reading hundreds of post I have already felt some comfort and reassurance...and I'd like to thank you all for that. I hope this continues and that I can repay the favour and make someone else feel good about things. WE CAN ALL GET OVER THIS!! :yesyes:

diane07
12-04-11, 20:41
Hi Taffy

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

debbsi
12-04-11, 20:53
hi and welcome - this site has been a great help to me
I too have a job which requires me to put on a brave face - i work in healthcare
i had another blip over the last few weeks and finally decided to see the gp - i'm now reluctantly on beta blocker - which have really help btw
anyway i have been lurking around on here for a few days looking for reassurance - and suddenly i have had a eureka moment -
I have had enough - i will not let this get the better of me i am determined to see the back of these negative thoughts and unwarrented fears!!!
i have an appointment with a cbt therapist coming up - i am determined that this will help me this time!!!
we will all support you on here xxxx

Taffy
12-04-11, 20:57
Thanks Debs...that means a lot! There is definitley strength in numbers! I hope the CBT works for you. x x

debbsi
12-04-11, 21:03
no probs - as you can see you are definatley not alone, i know what its like not being able to talk about it - i fear people will see me as a failure or that i am weak and i have always been such a strong person.
I'm sure i have a long way to go - but i dont intend spending the rest of my life like this - i am 40 next year - maybe life will really begin then!
i also found that having children really makes you value life more than anything and maybe this induces our fears

snowgoose
12-04-11, 21:08
Hi Taffy:)
nice to meet you and glad you have found this forum . I am newish here and have found it very friendly and the info is enlightening .
my advice for what it is worth is get to your doctor before this escalates x
you have a hugely stressful job and a young family ..........catch this before it gets too big . you have lots of awareness and with help be it CBT or meds or just talking stuff through in safe place will get you less vulnerable .
you work in a very macho atmosphere Lee .........but try to find one pal to look out for you . you are not alone at all in this x
some guys will be around soon betcha . x

Taffy
12-04-11, 21:09
Yeah my biggest fear is leaving my little boy without a Father :-(

Its so strange that in the job I do I put myself at risk all the time but that doesn't worry me because I'm confident in my abilities and that of my colleagues that I won't get hurt or killed. However this HA is something that I feel I've got no control over at the moment and my body and mind seems to be running away with itself!...and I dont like that feeling!

Thanks Debs and Snowgoose...I've got an appointment with the Docs on Thursday morning and I'm gonna talk about some options then. The Brigade offer private counselling and I might look into that as well.

snowgoose
12-04-11, 21:47
oh heck Taffy ........you hit nail on the head there :ohmy:
the feeling of not having control . so true and it is ghastly .
thanks for that insight .......hadnt seen it that way before.
x

debbsi
12-04-11, 21:47
hope your docs appointment goes well - let us know how you go on xx

Taffy
12-04-11, 21:59
Will do...thank guys. x