cant think
14-04-11, 11:41
Hello.... a little bit about me......
A few years ago I was a happy, confident mum of 3. I had a good job and a supportive husband. It all sounds a bit pathetic now, but I thought my husband didn't fancy me any more and was flattered by the attention another man was giving me.
To cut a long and complicated story short, I had an affair with this man and ended up with a messy divorce and a resentful ex who my kids live with half the week. This still breaks my heart although after 4 years I am getting used to it.
I started living with the guy I had the affair with. I thought it was going to be great. It only took him about 2 weeks to start moaning at me, criticising me and generally making me feel bad about myself. Since then I have been on a roller coaster of emotions. I don't think he loves me. He never did I don't think. He used to be very loving and affectionate, but when I look back I think that was more about him loving the idea of me loving him. Hope I'm making sense.
Anyway day to day he bickers with me.....about what we're having for tea or the pile of papers I've left in the living room. Sometimes we row about bigger things which somehow all end up being my fault even when they are clearly not! Every few weeks we say it's over, but then slip back into not doing anything because that's easier I suppose.
I am so anxious and down. My friends tell me I should move out and they are probably right. However I can't afford to, and more importantly I don't feel strong enough to. It's all a vicious circle.
I have always had a drink to help me get through things, and so now this is worse. I am drinking way too much.
I am so fed up and anxious.
A big hug to all of you out there that need or want one!
Cant think!
xxx
A few years ago I was a happy, confident mum of 3. I had a good job and a supportive husband. It all sounds a bit pathetic now, but I thought my husband didn't fancy me any more and was flattered by the attention another man was giving me.
To cut a long and complicated story short, I had an affair with this man and ended up with a messy divorce and a resentful ex who my kids live with half the week. This still breaks my heart although after 4 years I am getting used to it.
I started living with the guy I had the affair with. I thought it was going to be great. It only took him about 2 weeks to start moaning at me, criticising me and generally making me feel bad about myself. Since then I have been on a roller coaster of emotions. I don't think he loves me. He never did I don't think. He used to be very loving and affectionate, but when I look back I think that was more about him loving the idea of me loving him. Hope I'm making sense.
Anyway day to day he bickers with me.....about what we're having for tea or the pile of papers I've left in the living room. Sometimes we row about bigger things which somehow all end up being my fault even when they are clearly not! Every few weeks we say it's over, but then slip back into not doing anything because that's easier I suppose.
I am so anxious and down. My friends tell me I should move out and they are probably right. However I can't afford to, and more importantly I don't feel strong enough to. It's all a vicious circle.
I have always had a drink to help me get through things, and so now this is worse. I am drinking way too much.
I am so fed up and anxious.
A big hug to all of you out there that need or want one!
Cant think!
xxx