So depressed and sressed

[louise0501]

hi, i am having such a tough time at the mo as my nan who has had dementia for the past 4 or 5 years has got a chest infection and she so poorly and only has a few days left to live well she could go anytime now. and on top of that my grandad is also really ill as he has been in a fair bit of pain and last night he was passing blood so he has been rushed to hospital. i mean losing one of them is gonna be tough but possibly losing them both is gonna be devestating and im not sure how i will cope. i feel so sorry for my dad as its his parents and i just dont know what to do in these situations. when my mums mum died 10 years ago i was only 14 and i locked myself in my room for about 3 days as i just couldnt deal with it and my mum always says she thinks im cold but i struggle to show emotion and i dont know why. is it normal to deal with these things like this? is it normal not to cry at funerals? has anyone been in this situation and can relate to wat im going through?

Please reply ASAP
Love Louise X

[bomberbeamish]

hi louise ,

im sorry to hear your having a rough time, of course everyone takes things different and we all expect people to deals with things like we do,, but we are all different.
i think you got to imagin how your dad must feel, thats his mum and dad, its going to be hard for him, and he needs your love and support, and im sure he is putting a brave face on because he be thinking of you. Sometimes we have to try and not be so selfish and put a little effort in for others , offer tea ect be nice,, let them cry on your sholder and then you maybe able to have a could cry,, maybe thats what you need. but theres nothen wrong with shutting your self away just think of others to,, im sorry if that all worded wrong. also if your nan and grandad pass around the same time,, i bet thats a wish they would like ,, not nice for you , or your family but when we get old somtimes the worse fear of all is beeing left behind, trying to cope with out the other one, if that makes sense,.
try not to be so hard on yourself,, im sending hugs and wish you all well,xx

[nomorepanic]

I just lost my nan Louise and we buried her yesterday.

I have had to keep busy with things as I had to help arrange the funeral and it has been very draining but somehow we find the strength to do these things.

People deal with grief in different ways - all I will say is don't bottle things up and let people support you through this.