Off Work On Sick Leave

[Eternity]

Hi everyone, I've been suffering with depression and anxiety due to PMDD for the last two years. Previously I was on citalopram and am now on venlafaxine. I work full time and things have been pretty tough lately with redundancies and lots of changes. One of the managers who has always been hard to deal with has recently got promoted and is now even more of a nightmare. I've been struggling for a while now but tried to work through it, though everytime this woman phones my extension or calls me up I feel sick and get so paranoid that I've done something wrong. I went to my gp last week and he has put me off for two weeks to go back and see him then but he said I will probably be off for quite a while longer until I'm ready. I'm currently looking for another job. The thing is I know I need to be off as I haven't been sleeping and feel really anxious and down. But I've started to feel guilty about being off, as if I should be in work and then thinking maybe it's me over reacting to things, even though I know it's not. I'm sorry this is so long, I was just hoping for some advice, if maybe anyone else is off work and feeling like this. I know it's probably going to take some time for me to relax and feel any benefit from being off.
Thanks
Tina x

[snowgoose]

Hi Tina,

I know what you are saying about the guilt feeling and also the fact the longer away the harder it becomes to go back field of thought.
so sorry you are feeling so bad :hugs:

my belief is however you need to be stabilised on your meds and sleeping better before you return .....eating well and getting out and about .......so dont rush back ......2 weeks is too short . and dont feel guilty .........your health is precious Tina x
What I did do though when on sick leave was to visit the workplace regularly at lunchtimes to see colleagues .........hated it some days and shook .......but it kept me used to the journey and the building and in the loop of what was going on .
look after yourself .............you are not alone :hugs: I told them truthfully it was part of my therapy

[Eternity]

Thank you for your lovely reply and support. If it was just to see my colleagues I probably would go in to see them but I really don't want to see the senior manager. It's a strange set up in my place, my own manager is based in a different office, but this other woman is overall manager in my office and is probably going to be my manager in a few months. I was off in October for three weeks but went back when I wasn't ready as I was getting phone calls constantly about work stuff and she was very unsupportive when I did go back and just complained about stuff that wasn't done while I was off. I have asked my own manager this time to not let anyone contact me except herself, although I've been keeping in contact with my colleagues. Moneywise it's not a problem as I get paid full pay for five months and half pay for five months while I'm off. If I'm off for long I know that they may refer me to occupational health and I'm not sure how that works. Have you any experience with them?

[Tyke]

Hi Tina

As snowgoose says, it is worth waiting for the meds to take effect as they can take a few weeks to kick in. It's always easier to cope when you are feeling better. I took Sertraline, but didn't feel any benefit until around five weeks in. It is harder to go back the longer you are off, but you shouldn't be bullied into going back if you aren't ready when you have been legitimately signed off!

Tyke

[snowgoose]

Hi again Tina :)

completely get you on why visiting at lunch times with your so unhelpful boss around is not a good idea . perhaps could you meet your colleagues outside near work....now it is spring ? again just thinking that will get you used to journey and seeing the workplace [from a safe distance :)]

yes I was referred to occupational health fairly quickly by my manager..........the nurses were disinterested and useless ...............but the doc was lovely and certainly empathised with me .........no pressure to go back too soon at all.
She liased with my manager about phased return .........and any issues that would be detrimental to my health on return . They have guidelines to follow which protect us thank goodness. She told me the bulk of her work was work stress . also occupational health may be able to get you any therapy you feel would be helpful quicker ......though dont hold your breath :hugs:
so dont be afraid of Occupational Health Tina ............if you tell them in confidence about your manager and how she makes you feel .....they could help you perhaps move to another department ?
take care xxxxxx

[Eternity]

Hi, thank you so much, you've made me feel better already. Are discussions with occupational health confidential? I mean, if I told them that the main issue around my anxiety etc was the senior manager, they wouldn't disclose that to her would they? I had previously asked to cut my hours down as it would maybe help me cope better. The other managers and my own was quite supportive with this but of course this one put a block on it as she was more concerned about the office, which is fair enough, but it would be nice to even be considered. My doctor is lovely and has said that he is happy to provide a letter of support if I need it, stating that he recommends I work reduced hours. I do realise that I need this time off and I know that it will take a little time to relax, just wish my brain would register that lol.

[snowgoose]

Hi Tina :)
The one good thing about political correctness and legislation these days that works for us is ...........guidelines and tick boxes as you well know :hugs: so it does help if you work in fairly big organisation that has Occupational Health .
it will be 100% confidential honest .. Mine told my managers I had to reduce hours and they complied. and dont worry .........it will not get back to your manager .
tell them the truth Tina .............it will give you such relief and help to go back to work eventually . when you are well and fit though .............it takes time ..........be gentle with yourself and just let life go by day by day for the moment.
all that adrenaline surging has to die down .xxx
take care :hugs:

[Eternity]

Hi
Thank you so much, you've been lovely and have really reassured me. I started to feel anxious and guilty again a while ago but sat down and wrote out a list of all the reasons why I've had to take time off work and the way it made me feel, probably sounds really silly but it helped me to remember and realise that you're right, I do need this time out.
Tina x