My Anxiety Diary ! Feel free to join in !!!!

[LittleMissPanicky]

Monday 18th April 2011

So this episode of HA has been going on for nearly 5 weeks now so I feel like i need to start putting my rational head on !!! After my initial worries about having some terrible bowel disease ( you know the one !!!) and numerous tests later ( blood tests, sigmoidoscopy, and barium enema ) all too be told everything is clear, why am i still worrying ???? I need to get back to some normality ! The , at the moment, very small rational part of my brain thinks " ok nothing has been found " but that evil part of my brain always throws up the "what ifs ". So I have decided to keep a diary of my thoughts, try to get them down in writing instead of in my head !!!

Todays Worry : put a clean pair of jeans on....hold on they feel quite loose
they weren't like that last week !

Irrational Thought : I'm losing weight too fast, there MUST be something wrong with me ! I now want to go and try on all my jeans to see if they all feel loose !!!!

Rational Thought : After having very little appetite over the past 5 weeks i have bound to have lost weight. I am not going to try my other jeans on (well i did try one pair ! )

Thanks for reading my ramblings, feel free to add yours !!! xxxx:wacko:

[Phwoffy]

Just want to say this is brilliant. Figured I'd add mine in because yours made me think of me!!

Today's Worry: Stomach feeling icky, having trouble with... *ahem* toilet issues.

Irrational Thought: This is OBVIOUSLY yet another symptom of the bowel cancer I've convinced myself I have. Panic, panic - make myself feel even more sick etc.

Rational Thought: Well, for a start, my stomach gets like this just before my time of the month - which is now. Plus I'm staying with my boyfriend's family at the moment and that always leaves me in a panic... so, vicious circle. If I stop worrying, hopefully everything will feel better soon.

As I said, think it's an excellent idea and hope you don't mind me adding mine in :)

[Lanesra]

Today's Worry: Pain in my mid-lower back, on left side near kidney and on spine.

Irrational Thought: I was actually telling myself it was all down to anxiety and coping with it until I Googled...I am now worrying about kidney failure, kidney cancer and pancreatic cancer.

Rational Thought I am 25 and whilst I am overweight, it is uncommon that it is either of these. It could have been aggravated from lifting heavy luggage; I've already been told by my masseuse that my muscles are out of sync and that I have a problem located where the pain is (she told me this months ago and the pain only started last week). Or it could all just be anxiety related - there is a tragic story in the news at the moment and I knew one of the victims and have not been able to stop thinking about it since I heard about the tragedy last night.

[Lanesra]

This is an excellent CBT technique by the way! :-)

[LittleMissPanicky]

Thanks for joining in guys xxx

Todays Worry I hate mornings everything seems so much worse, anxiety is at its highest.

Irrational Thought All the feelings i have at the moment point to something is terribly wrong wrong, how am i going to get through the day !!!

Rational Thought This is anxiety playing its mind games with me. I will get through today. !