Ever said something stupid

[joanne87]

Have you ever done or said something you wish you hadnt and then the thought wont go out of your mind?

im not talking serious things, just the little things like when you dont think before you open your mouth or acted in a way you wish you hadnt.

maybe its just me but the thought is hard to get out of your head and triggers slight anxiety, but i used to get so bad it was hard to sleep because it was always on my mind.

I read in this book about anxiety and how people that suffer go over diiferen situations in their head and think, "what if theyd of said this or that or if they said or did something stupid", they would punish themselevs in their thoughts

I know the thoughts will go away in a day or two, but it doesnt stop you obsessing aand worrying about it,

Maybe its just me but if this does ring any bells with someone then please post

Jo

[joanne87]

P.s i know its something everyone does but i find myself blowing it out of proportion alot more than anybody else would, when i asked them about it.

[Ammeg]

hey jo
i know exactly wot u mean!! i use to actually self harm meself for sayin silly things!! it is something everyone else does and it took me a while to realise this!! dont worry ur not alone!!! feel like staplin me lips together sometimes!!! im a little to blunt sometimes!!!
Ammegxxx

[giddy]

Hi Jo - I'm just the same, especially with people I feel uncomfortable around or people I want to impress. I replay the converstaions over and over in my head too and convince myself everyone thinks I'm stupid or that they don't like me!! Good to know there are others out there!!
Love Helen

[vernon]

Hi Jo, I think people with or without anxiety do this regular, dont let it become another anxiety. Take care

[tara]

Hi Jo, I done this on the weekend. Said some things then obsessed about it for a day or two. I wish i was one of those people who could say whatever and not give a monkeys about it, i respect people like that. Guess it's us anxiety sufferers for you. We are all only human and say and do things which we regret, it will pass hun. Tara x

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Jo,

I do this too, even then dream about it and wake up just feeling awful. It's like I just relive it and relive it. You know the worst part, the people I said something stupid to could probably care less what I said to them! I know this in my head but still can't stop obsessing and worrying about it. Wish I knew how to stop this viscious circle.

Bel

[joanne87]

Thanks all for the replys

sorry it gets so bad for you belle.

well i can hopefully say the thought that i have been obsessing about is not that importaint anymore, got more stupid things to worry and obsess about ( see recent post)

Thanks again for the replys

jo

[shy]

[:I]I feel so stupid when I do this and esp when my words come out all wrong for no reason.I feel so dumb. Then afterwards I cant stop thinking about it for days. I play it in my head and think what i could of said instead,I also think im too honest sometimes that I would Say exactly what I think when i do open my mouth which i must admit is not very often.So I feel when I do speak people whould rather i kept my mouth shut because i have nothing good to say. I get soo worked up about it sometimes!!!!!

[Blue Child]

Yeah me too...I spend most of my time with both of my feet in my mouth. I've cured it to a degree though, as I just don't talk to many people. I actively go out of my way to avoid conversation and mostly succeed. I find that when I DO have to speak to someone that I get so nervous that I develop a slight stutter. Great...that makes things really so much better...as people then tend to look at me as if I am an idiot. I too keep rerunning the conversation and kicking myself about it. I must admit this makes it more difficult for me to speak to people the next time. I do have a couple of folks that I can talk to and be myself with, but I don't like to burden them with how I feel and so they think it's all ok. They know I feel very insecure at times and they do cover for me. I think for me as well though it always makes me ten times worse when the person that I am addressing obviously thinks that I am going to come out with a pile of insignificant drivel...unfortunately, I am also very good at reading body language. It too upsets me when I am totally cut out of a conversation...I don't usually attempt to get back in and instead crawl off to lick my wounds. Is it just me or are there lots of us that feel this way out there? I am so grateful for those already here as I've felt so isolated about it for so long.It has helped me just by reading the other entries here...thanks you lot
Love,
Blue Child xx

[joanne87]

Hello Blue child,

I know what you mean when i get cut out of conversation i dont try and get back in i go and crawl off. i also sometimes take things to heart too much aswell like people being nice but blunt, they dont meant to be blunt thats just in their nature. i think its because we`re always trying to make people happy and sometimes we we try too hard and become sensitive and hurt easily.

If that makes any sense to anybody lol

[Coni]

Hello everyone,

I can really identify with this thread. I'm really rotten in company....I get so anxious, takes me ages to pluck up courage to join in and then either I make a hash of what I'm trying to say or I'm not heard and people talk over the top of me.

I know I'm also extremely sensitive about what others think of me or what I think they think of me and get totally crushed by the slightest rejection.

Another bad fault I have is picking holes in whats been said by me or others after a social occasion....did I offend anyone, do they not like me, did I accidentally put my foot in it...and I go over and over things ending up in a real state (no wonder I dont go out much lol!!). i think my problem is thinking too much!

Blue I know what you mean about feeling isolated....sometimes even with good friends I feel really on my own. I think its more common a feeling than I realised.

Coni X

[Blue Child]

Hi again all,
Joanne and Coni I am so on your wavelength...and I feel for you because I walk in you shoes every day. I must admit hand on heart that I have people who I allow to get past my barriers, but I haven't really got any true friends. However, that has been my choice, as I can't cope with the difficulties of socialising, and also I left most of my major friends up where I used to live when I moved down south eleven years ago. I've not really let anyone in since I've got here. I talk to people in work, as my job requires great amounts of communication....don't get me wrong I communicate (to some degree) quite well, but it's really hard for me. Also when I am in work I can be in a room full of people, but I feel so alone. I usually bury my head in a book and let the conversation wash over me...believe me my book is my life saver. I sometimes feel incredibly lonely, as I realise how isolated I have become, but then I balance those thoughts with the fact that I am in some way stopping myself being hurt. Well I have found that I have become terribly hypersensitive to other people, sarcasm and bluntness especially. I panic...pure and simple and I don't know how to reply. I'm just really socially awkward, but hey that's me. I must admit, I do hide it very well...well some days I can organise myself enough to mix successfully but on other occasions I am awful and I can't get anything right. Has anyone else noticed this? I think it's sad, as I do have alot to give and I am a loyal, caring friend....it's just my protective barrier has become too high for me to get over it. Please let me know if you all feel this way...well at least I know that I am not going through it alone and it makes my problems feel that much smaller.
Lots of love,
Blue Child xx

[joanne87]

Thank you blue child.

i too know what you mean and especially about not getting anything right, you have your good days but when you have a bad day its as if the whole world is against you and everything you do turns agaist you and you feel like crawing back into your safe little hole where nobody can hurt you.

Does this sound simlar?

Jo xx

[Rennie1989]

Hiya

I do that way to often, I say stuff when I shouldn't but stress causes me to do it more often, although I do even when calm.

Don't worry about it, no one is perfect :D

Scooties Back

[Alexandra]

I can relate to what your say too Jo & Coni.

Take care

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[Coni]

Hi guys,

god its so good to know its not only me who feels like this. I mentioned this feeling of being on the edge of things, an outsider to my counsellor and she made me realise that I kind of do it to myself as a protective mechanism cos the risk of being rejected is just too much for me to bear (your protective barrier, Blue). But your right its a very lonely place to be....and knowing why we do it doesnt make it any easier to change (well for me anyway).

I also hide it well cos at work I am constantly communicating, but right now even my job fills me with fear.

I have been in chat on here twice in the last few days and I was so scared....heart pounding, sweaty palms....but I did it (wasnt great at the conversation though, even got tongue tied in there lol).

I was at a meeting once and plucked up the courage to contribute to the discussion and this woman totally cut me dead and treated me as if I was something nasty she'd trodden on....I was so humiliated I actually thought i might cry, it took so much courage for me to speak in the first place, but thankfully managed not to disgrace myself, but that was it for me....i was devastated, convinced I was stupid and useless and now feel sick at the thought of having to speak in groups at work. I went off work sick soon after that.

Anyway so good to know we're not alone.

Coni X

P.S any advice on changing this would be gratefully appreciated.