brain tumor fears - relapse :(

[mike_coventry_uk]

well its been a long time since i had to write on this forum but yet again i find myself in a panic and this time its worse than ever.

i originally suffered with a bout of health anxiety 3 years ago. with the help of citalopram and cbt i overcame it and felt good for a long time perhaps a year. i even suffered the loss of my mother but managed to keep on the straight and narrow. but a onth ago i started to notice a dizzy feeling again.BANG HEALTH ANXIETY RETURNS!!!

i had been drinking on the sun night and woke up feeling lightheaded and since then i have been convinced again that i have A BRAIN TUMOR. after working myself up for a week and allowing the symptoms to increase,lightheaded and nausea mainly i visitied my gp. i was givena week long dose of LORAZEPAM and had a weeks hol from work,all good felt like my old self :) then after i stopped the lorazepam i was put on to a small 5MG ESCITALOPRAM. within 2 days i felt worse than i ever have,many side effects including lack of appetite and increase of my original anxiety. on day 6 i stopped and yester day gp put me on VENLAFIXINE after 1 tablet last night i was ill, tremors and the shakes and have had about 6 hours sleep in 48.

i just feel like the whole thing is getting on top of me and am scared i am falling into depression, i couldnt force myself to go to work today and i love my job. i have a referal from my gp to the neurologist and he said this is to put my mind at ease,all my tests for balance etc done by the gp were fine and i have a full blood test 2 weeks ago all normal.

for some reason this time i am more convinced than ever before tht i have a seriuos underlying condition but then that is wat anxiety is the hard part is training the brain to deal with it.

i feel a little lost in it all at the minute and feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel,i have been with my gf for 6 months and she is fantastic but i feel so guilty on placing the burden of my INVISIBLE ILLNESS on her. i love her dearly and also fear of losing her and my job over this.

any kind words of support or advice would be great.

hope your all a little better than me at present!! :)

mike

[countrygirl]

I know how awful you are feeling as we all do on this board. I'm putting my logical head on now which I can do for others and not myself!

Having known a couple of people with brain tumours the symptoms were not a little lightheadedness or just dizziness they were of the sudden seizures/loss of vision or loss of use of a limb so its at least 99.9% certain you do not have a brain tumour. Did you know alot of brain tumours are found at eye tests or should I say the eye test shows us great suspicion of a brain tumour and you get sent for more tests, eye tests are a great mot as they also pick up high blood pressure and diabetes.

Good news is that your Gp for your peace of mind is sending you to a neurologist who may give you a brain scan to set your mind at rest. I know this does not address the health anxiety issue as we just stagger from one fear to another but in the short term it may help you.

Drugs to treat anxiety/depression or any mental illness are a double edged sword as they all have side effects and its balancing the side effects the benefit that is not always easy. As the side effects are physical symptoms they can actually make your health anxiety worse and chopping and changing drugs with all the side effects may not be helping you.

On the gf front just be honest, if she does not have HA she will not understand so explain, tell her how she can help and try very very hard not to go on and on about your symptoms - this is straight from my husband who has lived with my HA for over 30 yrs he says hardest bit is because we want reassurance we ask over and over again by describing our symptoms all the time. If you feel bad just say it once .

Take care and hope you feel better soon.

[blueangel]

Have you still got any of the work you did when you had CBT? Did your counsellor do a "relapse" plan with you when you finished the course? If so, start revising your CBT, as the processes are the same even if the anxiety has come back.

I found that one of the things that worked best for me was the "what's the worst that can happen?" scenario, as that made me realise that I wasn't being rational, and was catastrophising. Also, I've done some stuff on mindfulness which was very uiseful, as it made me realise that it was all "only thoughts",

[mike_coventry_uk]

i havent got any of the paper work from my cbt but am going to ask my gp about starting up again. ithink my main problem is the side affects of meds because up until i started taking the ssri's i was anxious but not too bad i could cope.

i appreciate your comments,its a very hard time and this site gives us all the option to speak to ppl who share the same experiences. it is a god send.

hopefully in a short period i can write on here about overcoming my anxiety for a 2nd time!!

[blueangel]

Hang on in there and don't forget that often medication will cause a temporary increase in anxiety, but this will subside as it starts to work properly.

[Taffy]

Hi Mike...Sorry to hear your not feeling to good mate.

I've been suffering with HA over the past 12 months, it just came out of the blue and really started to get me down. I recently had a spell were I was convinced I had a brain tumour. My 'symptoms' were very similar to yours...lightheaded, dizzyness etc. I also had a headache, pain in my eye and pain behind my ear and in my neck. As you can imagine this sent my mind racing and before I knew it I was all 'Googled' out and convinced I was a gonner!

Anyway I made the decision that one way or another I wasn't going to let this ruin my life....So I went to my GP, told him what I thought was wrong with me and after a two visits, a few tests, having my ears syringed and realising that the headache and neck pain were all one of the same thing and brought on by stress and anxiety I feel a lot better and the 'symptoms' have miraculously gone. I also came clean about my HA which I've been trying to hide over the past year. The GP gave me a basic assessment and is going to refer me to a Physcologist to discuss the issues I have.

All this has made me feel a lot more positive about things and right now I'm feeling good. I'm determind not to let this thing take over my life and get rid of it once and for all!

POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE!

I hope this post makes you feel a little better. Stay strong. :winks: