Do i feel the fear and do it anyway??? (moving in with friends)

[~glowly worm~]

Hi all,

i have been battling with what to do about next year's living accommodation for a while now and thought it might help to get some thoughts from those who understand.

I have spent this year living alone as I thought it might help ease the non stop panic i get about others being ill and also thefact that i could have my own kitchen and not worry about the food contaminated thing..

It has not been without its stresses and friends and family think it has made me worse in some way (last thing i want!!) because i get to avoid illness and being on my own is avoiding having to share a kitchen and share with others etc.. and im in my own head alot and barely socialise duye to the workload. However ive still been non stop anxious!

Ive been thinking of asking 3 friends if they want to share next year and have found a decent 4 bed property to rent near uni.
I thought 3 was agood number, not too many but enough so that if we have problems we can mediate them.
I have shared 7 times before so it isnt new to me but im afraid as my anxiety is so bad at the mo and it will be a crucial few months with uni...

Has anyone with HA shared before? Has it helped or made things worse for you?
Did not avoiding help?
Were there any strategies that you found useful to cope?

I made a big list of pros and cons but still no idea what to do...and need to decide soon. I need to learn to be okay and know they say avoidance is the worst but do want to make the best choice in order to manage it.

Many thanks,

~glowly~

[vicky23]

wow this is a big decision!
Is this something that you need to do for reasons other than socialising more or not avoiding illness?
I mean if you are ok as you are, not needing financial help, then why not try it out before you commit to a year of sharing. Ayear is quite a big step, maybe you could ease yourself into it by perhaps going on holiday with a few friends or asking a good friend to stay with you rent free for a days/weeks/even a month. Or advertising for a temporary lodger. This way you can see how you cope/ you'll get added social contact and it's exposure therapy too.

I do believe without a doubt that avoiding things makes things worse in the long run HOWEVER, I also believe it's important not to throw yourself in the deep end, I think small steps are better. It's sometimes easy for friends and family to tell you that you're not helping yourself etc but if your anxiety IS worse than before who's to say that it's the living on your own that's done that? Uni is stressful and stressful times of course make anxiety worse.
So, I suppose my view would be to use this year to 'test the water' in ways that are more gradual than commiting yourself to a year. Stretch your comfort zone rather than step out of it
But I'm not an expert maybe just going for it would force yourself to confront the issue rather than doing it gradually which would be easier to put off.
Whatever you decide I wish you the best
x