Please help?

[joanna1994]

Well basically I (and others) believe that I suffer with anxiety. I have always had a problem since the age of 11 (im 17 now) but its got worse as ive got older but recently in the last year its got bad - it affects my life every day and it stops me from doing things I want to do. I avoid many situations and places because I dont feel safe. I am always worried about what others are thinking of me. Sometimes in some situations I panic because I think something terrible is going to happen or i'm going to die. I get myself in such an unbelievable state and have panick attacks, even though in reality its something normal that people do. And also I have many phobias - one of them being scared of doctors (and anyone in the medical field).

My mum is telling me that im "screwed up" and she wants me to get help from someone that I need to go see someone who can help me. She's talked about counselling and all sorts. That scares me so much. Am I really going crazy?

I don't know what to do. I definitely cannot go and get help - I know that much!

Thank you

[paula lynne]

Hi Joanna, its sad when I read how anxiety is causing such a young person so much distress. The first thing you need is a diagnosis....yes...I know you dont want to see the doctor, but its important that you do. You need a diagnosis and to see what options for treatment and help are available to you.

Please think about seeing your Gp?

I find your mums attitude rather unhelpful!! I would NEVER tell my daughter she was crazy!! Is this why you think councelling is for "crazy" people....thats not how it works at all. Read up on here about CBT using the search facility, and see if you think it may benefit you. I really think there are lots of issues here, and its not a simple cut and dried case of anxiety.

I think in this instance, your gp will be your first step to recovery my love x:hugs:

[CJA09]

Hello Joanna

Firstly you are not going mad! you are suffering from anxiety and panick attacks. I started suffering when i was 14, it sucks! HOWEVER there is hope and it will come from talking to other sufferers and professionals. I know you say you have a phobia of such people. Maybe you could try ringing for advice at childline or the samaritans and then you wont have to see anyone. OR ask to have a telephone consultation with your doctor.
Anxiety is horrible, it does take over your life, but left unattended too it wont get better. The professionals will help you learn about anxiety and panick attacks and help you learn how to control and manage it. They are lovely, they know their stuff and see people like you everyday. Dont be afraid, you are not a freak, crazy or weird, you are just suffering with anxiety and it can get better and you can get in control of it with help.
I hope you find the courage to seek some help and get life back on track!
BIG HUGS

CJ x

[joanna1994]

Thanks for your reply
I understand exactly what you're saying I just don't think I can ever do that! Im kind of in a no-win situation.
I think my mum was trying to scare me into getting help because she knows im reluctant to get it and she thought that was the only way :/

But thanks for your reply, appreciate it x

[joanna1994]

Thanks CJ for your reply too, I hope I do too just dont know where to get it from!x

[Phwoffy]

Hi Joanna,
I'm in a similar position to you, really. I'm 20 and have been a complete nervous wreck since I was a child. I've no idea what started it, but it's always been there. I remember going to bed and counting the minutes on my clock until my parents came upstairs, just in case they didn't make it. It was always there in the back of my head, but never anything serious. I was just a "stressy" person. In my second to last year of secondary school, I was a victim of bullying and, as a not very mentally strong person, I couldn't handle it. I refused to go back to school, spent a year sat in the house absolutely terrified. I developed horrible OCD which would stop me going to bed until at least 3am. I was always tired and always miserable. In the end, after somehow passing my exams, I applied for college. It all went away for a while - I was still painfully shy and nervous but learning kept me busy. I finished my A Levels 2 years ago and have been looking for a job. Which isn't at all easy. And, things are getting worse. The longer I sit in the house, the more scared I get. I'm driving myself mad. Today I broke down just as I was supposed to be leaving the house. I left my poor boyfriend sitting on the sofa for an hour while I sobbed all over my Mum.

The two of us hadn't really spoken about it before. She knew I was anxious but not how much so. I imagine your Mum is worried sick and is just trying to make you get help. It must be so difficult for other people to understand how we're feeling.

What I'm (very slowly) getting round to saying is this - Tuesday morning I shall be phoning the doctor and I shall be finding out what's going on. One of my main things is Health Anxiety and I'm terrified that a doctor will find something physically wrong with me; something completely unconnected to anxiety. But I know I can't carry on living like this. I imagine you're the same as me - you want to be happy, you don't see why you shouldn't be but you don't know how to get there. Please call the doctor. You are not crazy. As my boyfriend tells me - there are just some things in your head that need to be pushed away. I'm really scared and I'm not quite sure how I'm going to go through with all this, but I am going to do it. I have to and I think that, deep down, you know you have to too. There are so many people in the world suffering with the same problems; it's nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, you should be proud of yourself. You're on here, you've told strangers how you're feeling - you're accepting that there's something wrong. The next step is doing something about it. I can't lecture because I'm still at that stage myself but I'm sure we both want to get better.

Sorry for writing you an essay. I've kept that in me all day! Please think about calling your doctor. Write everything you're feeling down. Take a deep breath, read through it and ask yourself if you deserve to feel better than that. You do, I promise. Anyway, sorry again for the essay. Good luck! :)

[andrew]

Hi Joanna,
Welcome to nomorepanic. You certainly dont sound like you are going mad. It does sound like you are struggling with panic attacks and other anxiety issues. You are not 'screwed up', its a very common disorder, illness (call it what you like).
Well done for coming here to look for advice and help. If you cant make it to your Drs or counselling for help at the moment then you are right to explore other options .. like coming here. Help is whatever works for you to get you through your anxiety problems.
So you have got the internet option. Have a good read through this site. Post some more of your own stuff maybe, relate to others, educate and inform yourself about anxiety and how its affecting you .. although it sounds like you are doing that already.
There are telephone options. www.nopanic.org.uk (http://www.nopanic.org.uk) run telephone recovery help. I think its £12 a year to join. I think the one to one counselling is with a volunteer, someone who has recovered from anxiety who has had some training. Have a look it might be a better option for you. I did it, it helped.
You have been struggling for a few years so you know there are no quick fixes or non scarey options. People recover Joanna, stay hopeful and positive about your future.
One other thing, if you are able let your mum read your post, it might help her to help you.
You take care

[Horse]

Joanna.

Firstly, you are NEVER NEVER EVER in a 'no win' situation!

Sadly, a lot of parents don't understand Anxiety unless they suffer themselves. Consequently, when one of their children start to show signs of bad nerves, panic attacks, certain fears and phobias, they believe that they are first of all 'not normal', especially if no one else in the family has shown signs of Anxiety before. Then they have a tendancy to say to the sufferer certain thing such as 'you're going crazy, you need help otherwise you will end up in a mental hospital' which are not the best words of encouragement!
Sometimes, the people we turn to for compassion and understanding can be the ones who hurt us the most, even though it may be unintentional!

You are NOT 'screwed up' or 'going crazy'!

The fact that you think you are, is proof that you are not (if you follow).

People who go crazy are unaware that they are and believe their bahaviour to be perfectly normal at the time.

I started my Anxiety when I was 13 or 14. I became scared of virtually anything. I no longer could go to school and lost most of my friends. I was very scared because I didn't know what was happening to me or why! My father had died when I was 13 and my mother accused me of being the way I was purposely because my father was not around. This of course was totally untrue and made me feel even worse and riddled with sub-conscious guilt. My mothers first thought was 'what will the neighbours think'? She had a son who was not 'normal', whereas his brother is 'perfect' in every way!

However, Psychiatric help is not just for people who ARE severely mentally ill, it is also for people who are not!

Carl Gustav Jung once described Anxiety as 'Nothing more than an illness which affects humanity'!

I would advise you to see your doctor (who is there to help YOU) who in turn will make arrangements for you to see someone who will assess your feelings and listen to your words with compassion in order to help you.

Do NOT be afraid Joanna, for you have nothing to fear but fear itself. The most important thing is that you must have faith in yourself. Remember, you are a very special person and have a right to your life.

I'm sorry to say that it WILL be a very long, long time before the men in 'white coats' take you away!

I have suffered for over 40 years (and that doesn't mean that you will) and they haven't got me yet!

May God bless you.

Horse.

[joanna1994]

Hi everyone thanks very much for all your advice! I am taking it all on board and very much appreciate it but again, I am extremely scared so don't think I can go through with anything...I may be able to in the future but right now at seventeen, I feel unable to and I don't feel strong enough inside.


Phowffy: Thanks so much for your message it's really good to feel like i'm not alone by reading how you suffer...I often do feel like i'm alone in this because it isn't really normal! I wish I could be as brave as you but I hope that sometime in the near future, I will be able to get the courage to go to get help but its such a difficult step to take for me personally, although it sounds probably extremely silly to others as I already have a HUGE phobia of medical people and those kind of environments. I also do have this fear (although I don't know if it is possible or not to be put away by doctors for anxiety??) that something will happen to me like being put away and just the whole medical thing just freaks me out completely where just the thought of it makes me feel physically sick and ill...well done for trying to take this step that is good and hopefully your life will change for the better :)

Thank you Andrew, I will keep researching anxiety and using the online methods until I feel able to do anything else (which I hope is soon!)

Thank you Horse! It's funny how my mum does sometimes suffer with panic attacks so you'd think she would understand! I think what she finds it hard to understand is that I am letting it take over my life to the point where I am considering cancelling my interview for the British Racing School (which is my dream!) and not going out and avoiding other situations. Also, I am very sorry to hear about part of your childhood and I am so sorry that you lost your father, especially at such a young age. Thank you so much for trying to encourage me, I do hope that I get some help soon but right now I cannot quite see that happening! I'm too much of a coward unfortunately the whole thing just scares me too death!! Well that is good news about them not taking you away ...... can I ask if it is possible that they could take people away who suffer with anxiety?

Thank you everyone I REALLY appreciate your replies !

[Phwoffy]

I know exactly what you mean about feeling alone. I've only discovered GAD recently - up until a month or so ago I thought I was just "one of those people". I had no idea that there were so many people suffering from similar things. Perhaps it's not normal but think of everyone you know - is anyone really that normal? :P

I've not been brave yet, but thank you for the best wishes. I'm sorry that you don't feel ready to go to the doctor yet but I'm sure that will come in time. Can I suggest a few things that could help? I've been reading a book (Free Yourself From Anxiety - just the first to turn up in the library of the dozens I've ordered!) and some of the stuff has been making a lot of sense to me. It says it's really important to learn to relax - suggests you buy a CD or download something that will teach you relaxation techniques. I haven't had the money yet but there are some short videos on YouTube that I've been using. It sounds silly to some people but lying there and listening to things like that... my body felt better straight away.
It also gives you exercises to do as you go through the book. The most helpful for me thus far has been some sort of anxiety diary. You can do it however you want, but just write everything you're worrying about down. As the book goes on, it tells you to argue with your feelings but I'm not too good at that bit yet. It helps to get it all out though.
Another thing is the idea that a healthy body leads to a healthy mind. I wasn't convinced at first but the more I read, the more sense it makes. Of course, I don't know anything about your diet or exercise regime (and trust me, I have neither :P) but improving both can help a lot.

Of course, I'm no expert. Very far from it, having not even made it to the doctor myself yet. All I know is that these things have helped me the times I've done them. And it's difficult. You don't just start them and stick to them. I was doing the relaxation every day when I was staying at my boyfriend's but now I'm home I've completely forgotten about it. But I've only just started, and I've always had the willpower of a flea. They might help, though. I hope you're doing better at the moment. It sounds like we're both going through a rough patch but the more I read up, the more I realise people have a lot of success getting through things like this :)

[jill]

Hi Joanna :D:hugs:

My heart goes out to you :hugs: My daughter was in the same boat as year a good while ago now, she still has ways to go, but is recovering bit by bit, with the help and support of her family and therapist. This is a blip for her, hers started at just age 3 many, many years before I had pa's, high levels of anxiety.(she is 17 now )

Ohhhh hunny, :hugs: I do know how you feel about doctors, my daughter was like this, this must be soooooooo dame hard for you :hugs: not knowing where to go , where to turn :hugs:

My daughter mist her last year in school, not wanting to go over the front door OR stay on her own, ohhh goodness me, my heart broke, but for me, I was lucky, Mmm well if you can call it lucky, I had had pa's myself and joined this great site and all the info on here helped me help her move on a little. Me, myself knowing how to use exposure therapy and how to talk to her helped her move forward a lot, Ohh I owe this site alot :yesyes:

I am soo proud of her and YOU should be proud of yourself, you are a young lady dealing with something that can feel very, very scary :hugs:

Hunny, you ARE NOT a cowered, what you are dealing with is DAME hard and be very scary at time,s understanding things can be hard for an adult, let alone a child :hugs: PLEASE don't be to hard on yourself, your doing your best RIGHT NOW and your best is good enough, you have come hear to try and help yourself and THAT IS GREAT, be proud of yourself, you trying to take some control by just coming hear :hugs::yesyes:

Please read through the site, there is lots of great info and advice hear and as you can see, lots of nice people who will help and support you.

YOU WILL in time, find your strength to go to your gp to get the help and support you so dearly need.

There is help out there hun, but you DO have to go and get it yourself and want it for yourself, which I know you find hard at this present moment in time, :hugs: you can go through your gp or you can look on the net to see whats available in your local area.

When my daughter was acute and did not want to see anyone I made lots of phon call, I did find a councilor that would see her, without going through the gp, BUT, I needed her permission to do it and OF COURSE at that time, she said NO, she was to scared. I understood this and just waited and dealt with it myself for awhile, just helping her stay on her own in the house bit, by bit by bit, it took awhile and she did finally go to gp. My daughters story with this blip is long, so will not bore you with that hun.

You are NEVER EVER going to die of this hunny :hugs: this is Mrs anxiety playing with you, when we are acute are minds come up with the worse case this is anxiety for you.

Right now at this present moment in time, except how you are, anxiety is what you have, BUT, try and see yourself better in the future, tell yourself YOU WILL get better with time, its going to take time. Its ok to have anxiety, some people have it worse than others and even people who have had pa's, they still don't understand how other people can suffer and how it can effect there day to day lives,

Someone said to me once about my daughter ( giving the fact that this person had had pa's and a breakdown) WELL "I had a breakdown and I went to dos' and therapist, WHY can't SHE ( meaning my daughter) go to doc's. she's hear, theres nothing wrong with her," OHhh blimey, I seen RED :mad: BUT, this site has learnt me many things and that is, NOT to let other people get to me when it comes to talking about panic, anxiety, even if you have had them, this does NOT give you the knowledge of how other peoples effect them. I myself only know because I went out of my way on this great site on how pa's, anxiety can effect other people. I am only human, it can effect me from time to time because the lack of knowledge some people are very flipent when it comes to dealing with emotional problems.

The way deal with other people now is, to THANK god they DON'T understand, because to understand it, you have to go through it and I would not wish panic, high levels of anxiety on anyone. You Mum lacks the knowledge hun, I don't think she means anything by what she says, maybe she is scared for you, maybe she is frightened herself in not knowing just how to help and support you . Use Mothers can be a pain in the but at time, I bet ever thought I have supported my daughter she would have something to say about me, HAY, BUT THATS OK, 17 year olds are allowed LOL

Try and get yourself a routine going, try and do things to take your mind off how you feel. Read through the site and pick up lots of little tips, ohh this site has lots of them.

This is going to take time hun, but you have made a start by coming hear, your moving forward already YES :hugs::yesyes:

Can you talk to your mum and tell her you will get help, but just not yet, you want to do some research first and then you will go for help and support form you gp. Taking that one small presure, can help you hun, FOR NOW. JUST FOR NOW. SMALL steps help you move forward

You have had lots of great advice arlready, as always on this great site.

KEEP posting keep reading, YOU WILL start to move forward soon hun :hugs:

YOU TAKE CARE

LOVE JILL XX

[paula lynne]

Lovely post from Jill there x:hugs:

[joanna1994]

Thank you everyone, really appreciate it. Just hope things get better xx

[jill]

Hi Joanna :D:hugs:

Things will get better soon hunny, THEY will, but you have to put the hard work in.

I have always said, Believe you WILL get better, REALLY believe and your mind WILL find ways to do it.

You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, YOU CAN get through this, but its going to take alot of hard work time and the right support.

I know its hard right now :hugs: but keep posting keep reading, knowledge helps us move forward a little.

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILL XX

[joanna1994]

Thank you I will try...but dont think I am strong enough!
xx

[jill]

Ohhh hunny :hugs::hugs: You ARE strong enough, you just don't relies it yet. This emotional illness can have us thinking we can't do things, its all part of what you have, it IS DAME HARD.

To gain courage and strength we need to face our fears each and Evey day, we gain scourge and strength each time we face our fears, hunny, when we are acute with panic, anxiety, we FACE our fear each day, we keep going, IT IS DAME HARD, BUT, we get up and face them, SO hunny, YOU HAVE lots of courage and strength. Over the years I have seen many people come and go, of all ages and job titles, Mums, dads, kids, nurses, police, judges doctors ohhh and many more, all with panic, anxiety, this can effect anyone, BUT, YOU CAN, with time and the right support, get better.

It took courage and strength even to come on this site, some people even find this hard, I was one on them people many years ago, finding DAME hard, scared and fearful even to look on the net, Mmmm, it took me awhile before I would even sit at the pc, scared of what I might find. So your courage IS in there and as time goes on YOU WILL get stronger and stronger.

I know its very confusing for you right now :hugs: and my heart goes out to you :hugs: BUT you hang in there. Help comes in many, many, different ways, help is out there for you AND, its within YOU , but this is going to take time. The mind IS a powerful thing and with time, the mind can change its mind and YOU yourself WILL move forward a little, but hun, this is not going to happen over night, Mmmm but then it might, anxiety can do many strange things, I have known people to have anxiety,panic for a short while, then gone. I have been taught that anything is possible with panic, anxiety, IT CAN be hear today, gone tomorrow.

Take each day as it comes, take each minute as it comes, take it slow, TRY DAME hard NOT to expect anxiety's to be there, but except them if they are, FOR NOW. Try hard, NOT to label things where anxiety may acre, try to keep doing the things you have always done, BUT, don't beat yourself up if you can't.

YOU ARE trying your best right now, at this present moment in time AND YOUR BEST is good enough. :hugs:

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILL XXX

[joanna1994]

thank you I'll try x