Kiyonari
26-04-11, 21:12
Hi guys, :blush:
I'm kind of new here, I did sign up a few years ago and have since forgotten my login details! When I signed up before I had terrible anxiety, O.C.D and agoraphobia/claustrophobia and basically lived as a recluse for some time. Since then I improved somewhat through pressure from family, and went back to work, then left to attend university to study nursing and social work (now in final year), and met my current girlfriend on a placement! It was her that was inevitably the best intervention for my anxiety as she literally dragged me into situations that I would have sooner died to avoid. It started with a house party to which I had to go upstairs several times in panic (she dragged me back down), then it moved to a meal out (I had a horrendous panic attack in the toilets but I composed myself and she forced me to ride it out), then it moved to going to a club (within 10 feet of going inside I turned and started to barge into people in order to get out, after which she came out and got me, then after going back in within a minute I was rampaging my way out again until I stopped dead and thought "no, you are not going to win!" so i turned back around and went in and it was the most uncomfortable night of my life, but I can now go outt, and sometimes it is very uncomfortable but I usually cope ok.
What has prompted me to rejoin however is that recently my symptoms have begun to return, the worst being the shortness of breath and feeling like I am going to asphyxiate. I am still dependent on medication too and this doesn't mix well with my excessive drinking at parties etc which I feel is necessary before I can get over my anxieties and be able to relax and have fun etc.
So although I have come a long way, I am still struggling to get where I want to be. I know this is never going to go away, but I have managed to kind of make something of myself now and don't want to waste all that efforts! What I do not want though is to go back, and I know some of you are still struggling massively to get out of the stage I was in, but it is possible and I think that sometimes the only way to manage is to be thrown in at the deep end with no ladders to climb back out.:scared15:
I'm kind of new here, I did sign up a few years ago and have since forgotten my login details! When I signed up before I had terrible anxiety, O.C.D and agoraphobia/claustrophobia and basically lived as a recluse for some time. Since then I improved somewhat through pressure from family, and went back to work, then left to attend university to study nursing and social work (now in final year), and met my current girlfriend on a placement! It was her that was inevitably the best intervention for my anxiety as she literally dragged me into situations that I would have sooner died to avoid. It started with a house party to which I had to go upstairs several times in panic (she dragged me back down), then it moved to a meal out (I had a horrendous panic attack in the toilets but I composed myself and she forced me to ride it out), then it moved to going to a club (within 10 feet of going inside I turned and started to barge into people in order to get out, after which she came out and got me, then after going back in within a minute I was rampaging my way out again until I stopped dead and thought "no, you are not going to win!" so i turned back around and went in and it was the most uncomfortable night of my life, but I can now go outt, and sometimes it is very uncomfortable but I usually cope ok.
What has prompted me to rejoin however is that recently my symptoms have begun to return, the worst being the shortness of breath and feeling like I am going to asphyxiate. I am still dependent on medication too and this doesn't mix well with my excessive drinking at parties etc which I feel is necessary before I can get over my anxieties and be able to relax and have fun etc.
So although I have come a long way, I am still struggling to get where I want to be. I know this is never going to go away, but I have managed to kind of make something of myself now and don't want to waste all that efforts! What I do not want though is to go back, and I know some of you are still struggling massively to get out of the stage I was in, but it is possible and I think that sometimes the only way to manage is to be thrown in at the deep end with no ladders to climb back out.:scared15: