overthinker
27-04-11, 13:39
i wud say what the intrusive thoughts are but they are shameful and have been written in other forums
anyways i have has a good few months without them or just being able to dismiss them as irrational intrusive thoughts now im stuck analysing them again analysing myself and the posibility of me responding to them
Also constantly seeing if i feel suicidal just so i know i dont want them i do feel suicidal about them
i look at my tutor and friends and family and i feel i have let them down as they think im such a nice girl
maybe im evil and deserve to die i dont know my fears are there is an afterlife and im going to have to explain myself to my passed away family members and god himself i feel they wont understand and i will go to hell
i dont know what i want but i wish it could be clarified that these are 100% intrusive thoughts so i can move on and not want to punish myself
iv lost lots of weight as starving myself is my way of punishment i have anorexia (http://ads.ibryte.com/inline/oneclick/?implementation=playbryte&source=inline&subid=intext&userid=c8eceee7-5a4f-43f0-98cd-3898e6d802c5&keyword=anorexia&trackingid=22d88fa2-ff11-445f-b963-0d8ed08d7d3d) but recovered now iv relapsed and i know its because i feel low about myself and these thoughts therefore its a form of punishment
i just want to die !!
anyways i have has a good few months without them or just being able to dismiss them as irrational intrusive thoughts now im stuck analysing them again analysing myself and the posibility of me responding to them
Also constantly seeing if i feel suicidal just so i know i dont want them i do feel suicidal about them
i look at my tutor and friends and family and i feel i have let them down as they think im such a nice girl
maybe im evil and deserve to die i dont know my fears are there is an afterlife and im going to have to explain myself to my passed away family members and god himself i feel they wont understand and i will go to hell
i dont know what i want but i wish it could be clarified that these are 100% intrusive thoughts so i can move on and not want to punish myself
iv lost lots of weight as starving myself is my way of punishment i have anorexia (http://ads.ibryte.com/inline/oneclick/?implementation=playbryte&source=inline&subid=intext&userid=c8eceee7-5a4f-43f0-98cd-3898e6d802c5&keyword=anorexia&trackingid=22d88fa2-ff11-445f-b963-0d8ed08d7d3d) but recovered now iv relapsed and i know its because i feel low about myself and these thoughts therefore its a form of punishment
i just want to die !!