Pouring my heart out :/

[Spongeballz]

Heyy guys, sadly haven't been on the forums recently because I haven't been in a state to help myself, let alone others >.<
I'm currently on holiday, in Barcelona, surrounded by my family. I should be having the time of my life, this was my week away from everything just to enjoy myself, and I just can't. It's all getting unbeatable and I'm getting stuck for solutions.
Every day feels like a struggle. I lack motivation, I lack confidence, I lack the "get up and go" that made me me. I was outgoing, fun (if I do say so myself :P) and happy, and now I'm none of these things. A month in, the meds haven't helped, and I'm feeling no better.
Aside from myself, I'm now terrified about my girlfriend's state. She's started self harming again, her wrists :/ She hasn't done it in about 3 years and, with my help and support, we tackled her depression about a year ago, I thought it was going to stay beat, it hasn't. I try to stay strong, not to let on how bad I am in myself because at end of the day, worrying about me isn't gonna help her. But I've got to a point now where I can't take it. I'm worried enough about myself, I haven't got a clue what to do about supporting her. I don't know what's made her bad again but it feels like we're dragging each other down, I just don't know how to break the cycle guys :/
I guess what I'm asking for is help on how to help, if that makes sense. How do I help her, and still have enough energy left to help myself. Sadly fighting this battle alone, can't do it much more.
On a positive note, I'll be on the forums more, and I apologise for my recent absence!
Thanks guys, sorry for being a moany little sh*te :P
Big :hugs:
Sponge.

[Christers]

well, as a first response to your post, unfortunately anxiety doesn't care about geography! There's no way of escaping your fears. Secondly, in regards to you and your girlfriend, did you have anxiety before you met? or do you think it was a response to helping her deal with her own issues? What i've found often happens is when we are helping others deal with major issues, we don't focus on ourselves so much. However, once their issues have been resolved, we often crumble. Is there anything the two of you could try to do together to help you deal with your problems, even getting out together to do some activities (gym, horseriding etc.?)

[PokerFace]

Christers made a wonderful suggestion, finding activities to do together. I know it's SO hard to get motivated and even stray outside your covers most days but once you're out and about it will start to come naturally again!

Really force yourself to get up and go get some sunshine. It doesn't have to be something expensive or crowded, you could go for a picnic in the park, feed some ducks, it's acceptable for adults to feed ducks, my ex used to take me cuz I love it lol! Find it really calming. Don't even have to have a picnic, just a walk and look at how beautiful everything is. Make it a regular thing so your motivation will come back.

Let her know that she's safe and loved, do fun things and enjoy your youth! You're strong enough to overcome these problems. Hope things brighten up for you soon, take care. xx

[Hazel B]

Try to see your doctors when you get home - both of you - to see what more can be done to help you both. You both need a good support network so that it's not just the two of you trying to cope together.

Take care and I hope things feel better soon.:hugs: