phil06
28-04-11, 19:19
I have stayed off google but I have found my old anxiety patterns remain and I'm getting just as worked up over little things for example tooth ache or lack of sleep.
Most of the time I feel I can't cope when I get myself in an anxious twist it's hard to explain but a worry I've had lately is my bowels again..sitting feeling incomplete drives me bonkers..I have tried to cut stuff out my diet so it's less curries and still I get it and I fear not having a r.ship or new job due to it. Quite embarrassing..I'm 22 and feel I am falling apart..I get repetitive worries over in my head constant..sometimes the pattern continues with normal stuff too..e.g the news just goes over and over my head actively and I struggle to get to sleep.
I can think of good days with no anxiety but I'm stuck in the old loop of remembering the bad days more than good. Like I feel anxious at times not even panicky just agitated and restless and my main fear is not being able to cope..if I get bad news or hear anything bad I become automatically depressed and feel my world is crumbling..I keep remembering last May when my anxiety got worse..I'm unable to forget these memories and I keep saying my life is not the same..just everything that's come last few years has been crap for me..I went on a few dates and they were not the right one for me and I feel really cold and alone about it because I have forgotten what it's like to click with a women and that's depressing..
I don't want to sound too negative as I've had many positive weeks but mostly weeks stuck in I ponder over it..but it's hard to cope as my symptoms are not text book..I stay up late, sleep on late feel ill/run down..get up early feel crap but getting up early is hard. My bowels keep bugging me..I fear going out incase I get incontinence or the stumping cramps come if I don't go to the toilet..I've never been incontinent but when I find myself say at the cinema stuck in the toilet for 30 mins before the film as my bowels keep going for me I just worry it's not normal..and it would be embarrassing if I enter a new r.ship...my ocd also worries me entering a new r.ship if it ever happens too..when I met my last serious g.f a few years ago my anxiety was low and got bad then better but I fear when I get days where I can't cope..how can I have a r.ship?
My life feels quite limited as If I wanted to go to Australia tomorrow I'd be like "How can I leave the house for more than 2 hours without my bowels going for me" "How can I last away from the PC" "How can I go on a plane".."It's too far from my comfort zone to go home"..however going to the local town would give me less anxiety now..but it's been bad before where it would have but I just feel lacking progress as I still fear all this..I suffered mild agoraphobia and it got better it was panic and depersonalization that stopped me going out but instead it can be worries over bowels that stop me going out..some days I go out it's fine..some it's not. Also been getting more crazy thoughts and impulses even though they are not true which have me worrying for hours..
Sorry for rambling on I don't have any major worries just want to share what's on my mind..I've found myself 2 nights in the past week or two where I've not slept or stopped worrying because of all this silly anxiety. Anybody give me any advice? :unsure:
Most of the time I feel I can't cope when I get myself in an anxious twist it's hard to explain but a worry I've had lately is my bowels again..sitting feeling incomplete drives me bonkers..I have tried to cut stuff out my diet so it's less curries and still I get it and I fear not having a r.ship or new job due to it. Quite embarrassing..I'm 22 and feel I am falling apart..I get repetitive worries over in my head constant..sometimes the pattern continues with normal stuff too..e.g the news just goes over and over my head actively and I struggle to get to sleep.
I can think of good days with no anxiety but I'm stuck in the old loop of remembering the bad days more than good. Like I feel anxious at times not even panicky just agitated and restless and my main fear is not being able to cope..if I get bad news or hear anything bad I become automatically depressed and feel my world is crumbling..I keep remembering last May when my anxiety got worse..I'm unable to forget these memories and I keep saying my life is not the same..just everything that's come last few years has been crap for me..I went on a few dates and they were not the right one for me and I feel really cold and alone about it because I have forgotten what it's like to click with a women and that's depressing..
I don't want to sound too negative as I've had many positive weeks but mostly weeks stuck in I ponder over it..but it's hard to cope as my symptoms are not text book..I stay up late, sleep on late feel ill/run down..get up early feel crap but getting up early is hard. My bowels keep bugging me..I fear going out incase I get incontinence or the stumping cramps come if I don't go to the toilet..I've never been incontinent but when I find myself say at the cinema stuck in the toilet for 30 mins before the film as my bowels keep going for me I just worry it's not normal..and it would be embarrassing if I enter a new r.ship...my ocd also worries me entering a new r.ship if it ever happens too..when I met my last serious g.f a few years ago my anxiety was low and got bad then better but I fear when I get days where I can't cope..how can I have a r.ship?
My life feels quite limited as If I wanted to go to Australia tomorrow I'd be like "How can I leave the house for more than 2 hours without my bowels going for me" "How can I last away from the PC" "How can I go on a plane".."It's too far from my comfort zone to go home"..however going to the local town would give me less anxiety now..but it's been bad before where it would have but I just feel lacking progress as I still fear all this..I suffered mild agoraphobia and it got better it was panic and depersonalization that stopped me going out but instead it can be worries over bowels that stop me going out..some days I go out it's fine..some it's not. Also been getting more crazy thoughts and impulses even though they are not true which have me worrying for hours..
Sorry for rambling on I don't have any major worries just want to share what's on my mind..I've found myself 2 nights in the past week or two where I've not slept or stopped worrying because of all this silly anxiety. Anybody give me any advice? :unsure: