Upset

[Lady21]

I am sat at home on the outside I look ok but inside I am stressing out .... dont know if I can do this every weekend .... been on the toilet about 6 times so far ... feeling sick .... heart pounding and feel like crying.
I just want to be able to do something with all this, it's exhausting!

I am feeling like this because I am going on my motorbike in about an hour or so .... Ive been on it before and like before have had these emotions.

It's FIGHT or FLIGHT

want to flight but if I do this I am reassuring my anxiety

Michelle x

[paula lynne]

Hi Michelle, Im just bumping this up again for those who may have missed it and can help. I do think it is the anticipation of going on your bike yes. You dont know how well you are doing, I would of probably never got on a motorbike ever again, just like Ive avoided other things for ten years...what Im saying is...you are still getting out and "doing it" and this is a success because you havent let the feelings stop you. Keep doing it. You are doing much better than you realise. Accept the feelings, but carry on. You are doing great x
Paula x

[snowgoose]

hello Michelle :)
can only echo what Paula said .............sending a hug :hugs:
and feel the wind in your hair and beat the anxiety demon . stay safe and enjoy xxx

[Lady21]

Thanks Paula and Snowgoose :)

What I decided to do was write down everything I was feeling/thinking
e.g my thoughts
my physical symptoms
my behaviour
my mood

then once I had these all written down I could see there was nothing really stopping me from getting on my bike.
I had a cry to let out my emotions.
Then my boyfriend found me in our bedroom upset. He asked me want I wanted to do. Still weeping a little a said "I want to go on my bike" so I told him to get my bike out. I then got all my bike gear on and saddled up.

Once we set off I felt fantastic ... my anxiety disappeared and I enjoyed riding my bike. :D
We went up north past Kendal in the Lake District, fabulous weather ..... then ...................... I crashed me and my bike into a stone wall :doh: ouch!
My boyfriend and his cousin bent my bike back into shape with there bare hands and I jumped back on and we made our way home.

I will go on my bike again once its fixed ... I have asked my boyfriend to put some plaster stickers on it ... lol :roflmao:

Im ok just a little brusing ... and I will get back on my bike

Michelle x

[LucyR]

Hi, Is the bit about actually crashing your bike a joke? I just wondered.

[Lady21]

I'm afraid it is not a joke ....

I managed to get most of my speed down before impact .... but it still hurt. Don't get me wrong, I was not going very fast, I crashed because I didn't see the hole in the road and I drove through it ... my bike wobble and would only go in a straight line ... then bump into the stone wall.

I have to say that the stone wall is built very well and is still in tact.

[Lady21]

I don't want to frighten anyone to not conquer your own anxiety problem/fear.

My crash was nothing to do with my anxiety

I enjoy riding my motorbike and will continue to do so

I do think writing everything down like I mentioned above and let your emotions out in order to beat the anxiety ... it really works

Michelle x