am i depressed or is panic ect

[trish1955]

hi i am realy haveing a bad time right now i have started cbt in feb being seeing the jr thearapist twice a week she wants me to go to clinic to see the senior thearapist whom came to see me at home for the first two weeks of cbt i get on well with jnr one but feel under so much pressure i ave sufferd agraphobia along with panic attacks anxiety for so many years the agraphobia is up and down even though i nevere evere go out on my own i do mange little trips on a good day to local shops some times i can go in somtimes i cant well the cbt as got me to go on a bus i ave done this before with my family i say to her i dont want the feelings i ave why doin stuff like my whole body is tense my adrenlin is high i cant focus on any thing apart from right i ave done the bus i just want to get bk in my home she says she can not tell what my anxiety is like as i hold my self together so well god i wish she could feel what i am feeling inside the reason i am so good at covering it up is i ave done it for over 20yrs now i dont no how to show it all i no is i feel totaly drained of all my energy after talkin of this ,this is why i think i am deppressed i am finding it hard to drop off to sleep and twice as hard to get up because as soon as i open my eyes my anxiety kicks in then i get out bed feeling like i have been run over by a bus makeing my anxiety even worse so feel even more tired got no intrest in life at all cant even boither to get dressed at all i was a verey smart person at one time and would hate lookin a mess even though i never wear makeup would always make sure my clothes wer well pressed and do my hair now dont see any point whats wrong wiv me why do i feel so sad amd misserable all the time why cant i be intrested in any thing at all dont want to cook hate my home it always looks a mess to me as i dont clean the way i use to people say well yr older now so my mum i am 55 she is 77 she works hareder than me wish i had never started smoking again ten yrs ago after havein packed up for 8 yrs i put pressure on my self about trying to pack in to be honest thats the biggest reason i get out bed how sad is that sorry about the long post i just wanted to no if i am going down a real bad road and scared i wont find my way bk take care all lv trish

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/images/nmp/misc/progress.gif

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Trish I'm sorry that you are feeling like this. I understand the daily battle with anxiety and depression. I am a similar age to you (fifty in August) There are particular problems associated with our age (have you finished the menopause?) The CBT will go a long way to address the problems of depression, panic and anxiety. If you can make the effort to go then I'm sure it will help you a lot. You definitely need reasons to get up and get dressed. While you are feeling depressed this will seem like a big effort. It is one small step to your recovery. If you have a partner/children who will support you then all the better. Try taking small steps at first and although progress may be slow you will begin to feel better. EJ.

[Spy]

Hi Trish,

I can only agree with what Elizabeth Jane has said, its small steps and one thing at a time. CBT can be really effective and it sounds as if you have started to make progress. Getting enough sleep is really important, I know that I find tackling going out is a lot harder when tired as you don't seem to have the mental as well as the physical reserves but if you can keep at it it will get better - at least that is what I keep telling myself!

There are lots of people on here with very similar problems who are very supportive and can help you on your journey.

Tc xx

[nitelight]

Hi Trish...i too have simmilar problems but feel im getting stronger all the time...i know about hiding the feelings from the outside world as ive battled my own anxiety feelings for around 15 yrs. i have however made great progress and do feel i am getting better at coping with my problems...i'll just point out some facts that i know of which may help you.

My mum had simmilar problems for around 15 yrs..she was on diazepam, smoking, drinking and housebound a lot...around 7 yrs ago she stopped smoking, stopped the diazepam and claimed her life back...she takes 20mg fluoxetine and tabs for type 2 diabetes...in the last 2 yrs she has been all over the world, (egypt, canaries, spain..etc)...she goes away every weekend to different parts of uk....she has basically gone from being housebound with all the probs you describe to living and travelling at will!...This gives me hope for my own problems....I hope this gives you belief knowing that someone in a simmilar situation has turned it around..x