Bad Times...:-(

[Taffy]

After doing well I'm back to square one again and in the depths of HA. A fortnight ago I was feeling really good and thought I had the answers to all my problems.

I visited the GP about a constant dull pain I've had above my right eye since February and also right side neck, ear pain and dizzy spells. He told me my right ear was blocked with wax and this combined with my HA was giving me all this refered pain. He also refered me to look at starting CBT, which I will be going to on Monday. Anyway this put my mind at ease and I relaxed feeling much better in the process. I had my ear syringed a few days later and thought that would be the end of it....I was wrong.

I'm still getting the neck, ear and dull headache pain all on the right side and now this has been accompanied by a pain in my upper right chest which is radiating around to my back and shoulder which is convincing me that I now have Lung C that has been there all the time and has spread up my neck to my brain..all the pieces seem to fit! and I'm sorry to say that I visited Google (first time for weeks!) and it seems to be all there! Ok I havent been coughing up blood but I have had a horse voice and had a bit of excess phlegm recently. Everything is on my right side...if it was random I would feel better but its all down on side. I even had siatica the other week in my right buttock!

I've also been feeling sick (although I havent been) after eating and although I know this is all part of the HA I am begining to wonder now if its something else??

We went away to visit the in-laws at the weekend and its all I thought about constantly....I was also my son's first day at his new school today and my Wife and I dropped him off in his new class....and all I was thinking about was ME! and my body!

This is really starting to take it toll on me now...I think for the first time since having HA (just over 12months) I am really, really scared!

I just don't know what to do?? Yes I will go back to the Doc's and hopefully he will say or do something to put my mind at rest...but my Father died from Colon C and he was misdiagnosed for 9 months before they finally found it and that is the fear that I have, that they have missed something.

I had a FBC blood test in February and it came back OK apart from slighty high protein but the Doc said it was fine and not to worry...maybe that was something he should of followed up??

I'm in a state at the moment and feeling so bad...How did I end up in this mess! :weep:

[countrygirl]

KNow just how you feel as I have just posted after doing so well about my heart flutters. Logically you know that the chance of all this being anything serious is very very small and there are loads of annoying but not harmful reasons for all your symptoms - I know easier said than done!

On here you have told us your big fear - lung cancer but have you told your Dr this. One GP said to me that they are not mind readers and if they don't think something is serious then they do not routinely explain to the patient why they don't think its cancer or whatever as they assume the patient isn't worrying about it so if you haven't already I would explain our fear to your Dr and ask why he does not think it is this. I have found this to be quite helpful over the years.

[Christers]

I agree with countrygirl. It's amazing the difference a fully informed doctor can make to how you are feeling. I, too, suffer badly from HA and it takes my doctor to explain exactly why they DON'T think it is cancer etc. My doctor told me very recently that she is not concerned that i may have a serious illness, but more concerned about my anxiety levels. Don't be embarrassed about revealing all your fears to your doctor. If you don't, they will just continue to niggle at you. Best of luck!

[happycamper]

Hey Taffy,

Just wanted to share with you my experience briefly...my dad too was diagnosed with colon cancer about 4 years ago, only shortly after my mum was treated for breast cancer - that co-incided with the birth of my 2nd son - you mentioned your HA started after the birth of your son too?

It isn't much consolation, but it does throw light onto why this horrendous anxiety can be triggered. I'm a nurse and remain competent and professional in my work, no difficulties managing life threatening situations in my job...but for some reason, compounded with the threat of death in my family (fortunately my parents are still alive) and the arrival of children who need you for them for many years it can become too overwhelming for some people who maybe have bad thinking habits for whatever reason - upbringing, life experiences or whatever.

A year ago + I can barely bring myself to remember how bad I felt, the thought of ever returning to that place fills me with dread....BUT, a combination of meds, psychology therapy and learning about anxiety and ways to manage it, fingers crossed I'm going the right way, although I accept anxiety may be part of me and I may have to get used to some amount for some of the time, just now I'm better equipped with coping strategies which I didn't have any of a year ago.

For your interest, I got to see a psychologist through a cancer support charity, the one I went to is called Maggies http://www.maggiescentres.org/ and there are several around the country. There are psychology services free of charge for anyone within the family affected by cancer.

Best wishes, Clare x

[paula lynne]

Sending hugs Taffy....sorry, not much else to add as its been well covered. Hope you feel better soon :hugs:
Paula x

[snowgoose]

Hi Taffy:)

hey so sorry to hear you are feeling so low .........it is horrid .
it becomes completely all you think about .
yes .....go back to doc ...........and as the previous posts said wisely tell him your fears .

are you coughing? cos that can strain the muscles in your back and shoulder blade . have you got catarrgh or sinus problems cos that can block the eustachian tube that runs from your nose to throat and affects your ear.
my gp told me when complaining of head and neck ache that the nerves which are plentiful in that area can get a bit jangled and the pathway runs to the top of your eyebrow and to the top of your head . I still get that and ignore it now .
the trouble say with a trapped nerve or chronic congestion is it takes ages to go away which is so not we need with HA .
also Taffy .....you do a very manual and active job .......it seems rational to me that you could have an injury with muscles ,tendons etc that have strained over time .
just my thoughts here :hugs:
take care x

[relika]

Aw, Taffy :hugs:

Isn't HA a pain, when all you want to do is enjoy the precious moments in life but can't stop thinking about your health and having a serious illness. I'm feeling the same way at the moment. Here I sit thinking about my rib pain and twinges returning, feeling fatigued and anxious that I have something serious, while it is my week off from work and I should be enjoying myself, but I just can't put my mind to doing something enjoyable.

I hope the following will reassure you. My mom had lung cancer, and she didn't feel pain in that area. She never has had pain from the lung cancer, nor was she out of breath or coughed up blood. Looking back, about half a year before the diagnosis was made, she coughed for a couple of weeks but nothing more.
If possible, I would go to the doctor so you can get some reassurance. (says she, who is afraid to go to the GP with her symptoms because she thinks he will refer her to a hospital or tell her the symptoms are serious :winks: ). Perhaps it is just a cold virus.

A lot can be attributed to anxiety. The more we focus on symptoms, the more we get, and the worse they get. It is energy draining, nauseating... I hope that you will feel better soon, taffy. Big :bighug1:to you.

[Taffy]

Has anyone else had pain in their chest and upper back shoulder area before? I can't pin it down to any exertion I have been doing and its worrying me senseless at the moment thinking I have Lung C....

I went to the Doc's yesterday and he listened to my chest and back and said my breathing sounds normal and thinks it muscular but I can't see how it can be?? Its in the same place front and back??

This is the most worried I have ever been!....all I can think of is leaving my Wife and Son....SCARED!

Somebody please reassure me its nothing bad.

[maz55]

HiI fully sympathise, HA is horrid, and leads us into a viscous cycle. Do you work a lot at a computer, or at a desk, this can lead to lots of the symptomns you describe see www.losethebackpain.com/conditions/upperbackandneckpain.html (http://www.losethebackpain.com/conditions/upperbackandneckpain.html) & www.round-earth.com/ShoulderPainIntro.html (http://www.round-earth.com/ShoulderPainIntro.html)

I hope these help, love yourself

[RealAwful]

thats a common problem with anxiety and panic. what happens is your fight or flight kicks in and your muscles tighten up since you are getting ready to attack or run. anyway the muscles in your neck are some of the first to tighten and that can cause soreness and pain into your shoulder as well as chest.

[Taffy]

Thanks for the replies...

I forgot to mention thats the pain is all on my right side not all over, which is making me even more worried as its seems localised!

Surely if it was tension it would be all over my neck, shoulders and chest area?

This is horrible....:weep:

[RealAwful]

no its often times one side of the other for me.. i for one get it on the left side most of the time, i actually build up so much tension that i get really big knots under my left shoulder blade. honestly have someone rub your neck that should really help if you cant find someone, just try doing it yourself.

[Taffy]

Thanks for all your replies...You've all done a great job in making me feel a little better.

RealAwful....Its good to here that anxiety tension can affect one side only. As I say its all down the right side with me. Headache, ear and neck pain and now this chest, shoulder and back pain. So worrying and making my mind go crazy!