Need some support, embarrassing issue

[worried girl]

Hello,
I am new to the forum but been reading it for a few years. I am a 27 year old girl and have sufferer from health anxiety for years. I have had many cancer worries in my life, breast lymphoma... Lately I am scared of bowel cancer. I can not stop checking for blood and I know it really gross but it is ruining my life. Today I have no one to talk to and I am litteraly shaking with panic.
What happened to me this morning is that when I had a BM I found some pieces of tomatoes or red pepper. I was fine at first but it did send my HA in overdrive eventually. I spent about 2 hours checking and checking for blood, rubbing so hard I ended up in absolute agony. I then managed to stop. However a few hours later I went back to the bathroom and noticed that I was bleeding for real this time obviously from rubbing so hard I have broken the skin. I can actually see the cuts.
Even though I now it is self inflicted I can't stop thinking about it. I don't know how to stop. I am crying because I am so worried. I need your help to find reassurance and tips to clear my mind. I feel so lonely and helpless.
Thank you for reading.

[snowgoose]

hello worried girl :)

loads of us here know exactly how distraught you feel ....not alone :hugs:
Have you been to see your doctor for advice about your anxiety and fears ?
if not book an appointment now . tell him all your fears and he will help you whether it be therapy or meds ............or sometimes reassurance .xx

for now ..........stop poking about your bottom .get some vaseline to soothe those cuts . bright red blood is usually not cancer . can be piles etc or just injury to the area . lots of veg come through the digestive tract to our poo :blush:.........dont fret please. try to distract yourself if you can with music etc
it is your anxiety talking .........not the rational side :hugs:
honest :)

[worried girl]

Thank you for your message. I have been to the doctor about anxiety and then followed a course of cbt. I am much better than have been but I do have the occasional relapse like today... I am not bleeding anymore and not so sore so feel a bit better. I was told by my doctor than at my age to be worrying any bleeding had to be regular for at least 2 weeks to be checked. I know I was not even bleeding before I strated poking so I guess it must be self inflicted I am just having a hard time not dwelling on it. I just feel very silly because if I did not check this morning nothing would have happened I need to get tips to stop checking and convince myself there is not some undiagonised cancer in there.