nightmare coming true!!!!!

[patbateman47]

Hello i am new here and have suffered from health anxiety since i was a little girl and am now 31. I have diagnosed myself with everything terrible and terminal that you can imagine, but never even considered my liver as a problem. In January i had my gall bladder out and the week after i was hospitalized because of 'high liver enzymes'. Well at the time i was prescribed a large amount of xanax so i didnt really think much of it. They released me and I didn't even think about it. About 2 months ago, i detoxed off of my xanax and have been trying miserably to handle my health anxiety this way, as i have no choice. About a month ago, i took some tylenol because i had some muscular aches that just would NOT go away...i started to feel nauseous and i had some pain in my right shoulder. So as usual, i google PAIN IN RIGHT SHOULDER..after a few hours of researching i had convinced myself i was having Tylenol toxicity and my liver would fail if i didnt go to the ER right away..ER sent me home that i was ok and just had 'slightly elevated liver enzymes' and to retest them in a month. Went home and started researching ELEVATED LIVER ENZYMES and i called the hospital and found out just how high they were..normal ranges are like 40 and mine were 450 and 357 respectively!! of course i lost it, went back to the ER and the doc there rechecked, said they were down a bit but that i appear to have 'hepatitis'. they checked me for viral hepatitis a, b, and c and i didnt have any of those so i felt relief. The gastro doctor called and said that they want to check me for other forms of hepatitis, such as an autoimmune hepatitis where the body attacks the liver and it fails. SO FAR IT LOOKS AS IF THIS IS IT!!! there is actually a test you can do online that tells you whether you have probable AIH and mine was showing PROBABLE!! I am an absolute mess..convinced i have prob already have cirrhosis and im 31 with 2 kids and NOT READY TO DIE!!! now i have all sorts of symptoms such as bad muscular aches, missed my period but not pregnant, darker colored urine..etc..AND the worst is..i noticed petechiae all over my chest but ignored it..but i broke down and typed it in today and it says it is a sign of END STAGE LIVER DISEASE!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!!!! going nuts..seriously losing my mind..my liver biopsy is next week to see just how severe the damage is..because autoimmune hepatits has a HORRIBLE prognosis and if not treate3d you can die within 6 months!!! HELPPP

[molly36]

Hi im sorry you are going through all this terrible worry.I have a friend and she had a high liver reading like yours and in the end they didnt know what caused it and a good while later they came down.They told her not to drink alchol and she is fine.So it could be nothing serious.I can imagine the fear you are going through but please do not google as it is the worst thing for anxiety ,i have done it too and ended up with every sort of illness.Hopefully it will turn out to be something simple they can fix.Please keep us informed how you get on.Kind regards molly xx

[patbateman47]

thank you molly..i have been trying to think that way, and like i said have done extensive 'dr google' research and soo many people complain of high liver enzymes, but theirs are like a few notches above normal, i think in days and days of searching i only found 3 other people who had them as high as me...UGHHH..I WISH TO GOD i wouldnt have even gone to the ER that day, i wouldnt have even KNOWN!! i dont drink alcohol, as that is usually the culprit..i dunno..im just sooo confused. ive been imagining the worst scenarios, down to the doctor giving me the news, the stage of disease, the medications, my obituary, etc etc etc..im seriously going mad. I cannot handle things like this AT ALL!!! my mother and fiance and everyoen around me thinks i am exaggerating and think its going to turn out as nothing..but that is only because i have put them through health scares so many times in the past, but they dont realize that THE DOCTORS are the ones who are ordering all these tests and te3lling me what it could possibly be thsi time instead of me doing it"!!! i mean WHY would teh gastro doc order a liver biopsy which is horribly painful and invasive if he didnt think it was necessary?? (mind you, my pcp, and neurologist and another doc all told me not to stress, just to not take tylenol and recheck them periodically)..i dunno..AHHHH (thank you for your support)

[molly36]

Hi god you must be going through hell but please try and remember these things can just happen sometimes and sometimes they never find the cause.It will be so hard for you to go through all the tests but least at the end you will find out that it is nothing serious ,im sure of that.My family are the same as soon as i get something wrong they just say im fine and basically ignore me but they dont understand health anxiety and how much it affects us.please stay in touch and dont ever feel you are on your own.kind regards molly xx

[macc noodle]

Oh poor you - when you booked for the biopsy? Can you not just tell your family that this is down to the docs not you? You really need some close support, even more so because of your health anxiety :hugs:

You have voiced my constant fear about suffering from HA - one day someone will sit me down and say "yes, you have the big C and we cannot do anything for you" and then I will feel so sad that I have spent all these years believing I had something wrong (when I didn't) and that I ignored the symptoms because everyone thought it was just me being me and worrying over nothing.

Thinking of you hun.

Keep posting and we will do our best to get you through.

Jan
xx

[patbateman47]

Thank you jan and molly you have truly made me feel a bit better. My biopsy is for next thursday..blah. Tell me if you relate to this: i am more worried about how i will handle a diagnosis than i am the actual diagnosis..my mental health is what i worry about the most...anyone else?