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jollywalrus
26-03-04, 10:33
Can anybody tell me how on earth I get over this daft supermarket panic? I leave the house with such good intentions and then when I get there everything looks wrong and a wave of panic sweeps over me. I seem to be getting worse not better and the thing is I love shopping and really miss it. This morning I got as far as the door, but for the first time ever, I walked away. I am just so tired of it all. I have made my mind up to go back again later, but I am not optimistic. Once you have walked away, the damage is done really isn't it?
Feeling sorry for myself today!
Christine

red
26-03-04, 10:51
Hi Christine

Well done with attempt at going there in the first place. It does get you tired but I am glad to hear that you intend to have another attempt, because this is the only way really. The damage is far from being 'done' - you just took a step in the right direction to 'un-do' anything that may have planted itself in your mind - a pat on the back is more appropriate here.

When you say "everything looks wrong" was exacty do you mean? I have heard a lot of sufferers say that the light affect them - one said that the hight of the aisles do. What both of these elements are doing is exactly the same as they do for 'normal people' that is making them feel a bit unreal, but they don't take the thoughts any further, as we tend to. Feeling unreal is one of our 'symptoms' at times and this just reminds us of that - then puts our memories in gear!

Go again as soon as you can - sounds bad advice, I know, but I also know that it works and will move you forward.

Good luck and take care.

Red
x

sarah
26-03-04, 11:56
Hiya Christine

I just had to reply to this as I know exactly what you mean about the panic sweeping over you and everything 'not looking right'.
I have been unable to leave the house for months last year and am now only just properly getting out of the house alone and doing shopping etc.

In fact ive just got in from sainsburys...the fourth week in a row that ive been on my own with no incident!!!

The way ive gotten through it is by making sure ive got my mobile with me, a bottle of water and my rescue remedy.

I do the shopping little and often so ive not got a huge trolley to unload and queue up for and I know that at any point I can abandon the trolley and leave and no one will see me do it!!!!( I just use the small trolleys that you put the pound in so I cant fill it up too much and I still have something to lean on if I feel dizzy).

You can do it, believe me i know how you feel but if I, (a mad former agoraphobic) can do it then so can you...lol. You will get there, it just takes practice and determination...hard I know but definately possible.

love Sarah
xx

kate
26-03-04, 12:05
Christine,

My battle with Asda has been well documented here!!!

Unfortunately, you just have to stick with it and, although the horrible unreal feelings and panics, still occur, it WILL get easier!!

Take it from someone who definately knows!!!

Kate x

kate
26-03-04, 12:07
Sarah,

Well Done mate on tackling the supermarket run alone!!

Kate x

kizzy
26-03-04, 12:13
Hi Christine,sorry to hear you are having it rough just now.
I am a new member but have been through all the same stuff.
I coped like Sarah,making sure I had my paper bag to help with
the breathing & rescue remedy,mobile phones were not invented
when I was at my worst (lol) so had to rely on what I had.
You will do it & it will get better,honest.
love Kiz

jollywalrus
26-03-04, 12:13
Thank you, you are all so lovely. I am going out now to have another go. I'm not hopeful because I am already anxious before I get there, but I will report back later.
Wish me luck, I mean, wish me no panic!
Christine

sarah
26-03-04, 12:15
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D: D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Laurie28
26-03-04, 13:04
Christine,

Good Luck!!!!

I don't think the damage was done because you walked away but as you know you must try and try again. The longer it goes on the worse it can get.
I'm not a big fan of supermarkets myself (even b4 anxiety kicked in) but it is neccesary to keeo going,

Good Luck and let us know how you get on
Lucky

kate
26-03-04, 16:21
Good Luck, Christine!!!!

We are all thinking of you!!!!

[^] Kate x

jollywalrus
27-03-04, 08:36
Hi everyone, forgive me for my late reply. I did go back out to the supermarket yesterday, but I couldn't get through the door. I walked round and round the town trying to talk myself in to it, but all my coping strategies, which at one time seemed to work so well, have completely abandoned me. In the end I just bought a paper and went home, cried, and went to sleep.
I do feel much more positive today, but I can honestly say I have never got that bad. I ususally just go in, shake, rattle and roll and come out breathing a sigh of relief. I think I am just worn out by it all and I can't decide wether to give myself the day off today, or try going back again.
The whole thing is completely ridiculous. What is the worst that can happen? It is only a supermarket! I think the trouble is, I am so aware of every working part of my body! I'm looking too hard through my eyes, if that makes sense, and where most people are concentrating on which food they would like to buy, I'm worrying about falling over!
oh well, this could work wonders for my diet!!
Thanks again for your support.
Christine

uryjm
27-03-04, 09:51
Christine
Don't do yourself down. Most of us have been there. I had a bout of bad panic on Thursday morning and found it difficult to get in the shower! Previously I have to work my courage up to get in the bath, or eat a British Midlands scone on a flight to London. There's no limit to what we can panic over. I'd also add that I know exactly what you mean about looking too hard through your eyes and worrying about falling over. This is an aspect of the depersonalisation that occurrs when your body is trying to inuslate itself against the excessive adrenalin rush. It's all very normal (for us) so please try to look on the positive side, and although it's completely ridiculous, and we all know it, that's just the way we are! For the moment, anyway.

Jim

stimpy
27-03-04, 12:02
Don't put yourself down so much, Chris.
You gave it a good try, and there is no shame in that.

As Kate says it is just one of those things you have to keep trying.
Many is the time I have walked to the door, lost my bottle and turned around and come right back home again, empty handed and embarrassed for standing outside like a lemon for 20 mins.

If a full shopping trip is a marathon, how about trying a gentle walk instead?
Go to the supermarket, and just step a few paces inside the door. Then come home.
Then next time, step a few more paces inside the door to the first shelf, then come home.
Then eventually you will be able to go to the cigarette counter or chemist counter buy some sweets or something, then come home. - Then when you feel up to it try something bigger, like a few items in a basket, check out and go home.

You don't win any prizes for doing a big shop and suffering the after effects for a week and a half. Take it nice and slowly master the art of getting through the door first.

Good luck

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx

[:p] Panic Monster & Scatty Eccentric

Bryn Powell
27-03-04, 13:46
Christine,
Supermarkets used to be number 3 on the list of things I dreaded most (after escalators - still can't do them very well and driving - not so bad now.) When my problems started a few years ago I was the one who did the shopping as my wife was too busy with her job. One day I was at the checkout and Bam! It hit! And I walked out leaving my trolley full of stuff. For a week after that I couldn't go to the supermarket. But then I decided that I must, it was necessary, I couldn't do that to my wife. So I went there just after they opened and only bought a few things. With virtually no one in the place and certainly no one at the checkout I was in and out within 5 minutes! By doing that every Saturday and Sunday for a few months my confidence grew and I was able to buy more and spend more time in the place and only go on Saturday mornings.
Try that for yourself and see if it works. The only way we can solve our problems is to face them and if we can face them in any way possible, then that is definately to our advantage.
Good Luck
Bryn

jollywalrus
27-03-04, 17:45
Thank you both for your good advice. I will be trying again tomorrow. Just a paper to start with I think, and then build up gradually. I must say, it has laid me really low. It reminds me of the thread on here about getting left behind. We should be living our lives to the full not in a constant panic.
Best wishes,
Christine

Meg
27-03-04, 18:06
Christine,

If you get there and it feela dreadful you could just get used to being in the carpark/using recycling/cash point facilities outside to start with..
No need to rush.







Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

kate
27-03-04, 20:01
I also never go for the full weekly mega shop.

I prefer to visit several times a week, just getting a few things each time.

That way it doesn't feel too daunting but you are still going in there and doing it!

Kate x

Jules31
29-03-04, 15:25
Me too, I can't face a full shop and definitely will try and avoid a supermarket at busy times. I do find pushing the trolley round helps because it gives you something to cling onto. Just go and buy a little when you can. My other half still does our big shops but it's still on my list of things to get around to doing. It's not because I really get a panic attack but just feel anxious and off all the time. How used I am to the floor feeling like it's moving under me as I queue up at the check out. I find looking at other people's shopping and guessing what sort of person they are can help with distracting you from how you feel. My therapist says also if you look round the supermarket there will be lots of other people just like us who are feeling anxious and panicky. See if you can spot them. What is it they say about safety in numbers.

Also promise to get yourself a treat for after you've done the shopping. I don't know a small chocolate bar (yes I know Meg that we shouldn't have them), or something else that you will equally enjoy.

Good luck and keep us posted and hey don't worry if you have to leave that trolley or basket. Most of us have done it or something similar

Jules

jollywalrus
29-03-04, 15:55
Thank you Jules. I promised myself today if I managed to buy something, I could have some fresh flowers for my living room. Guess what, they are gracing my table as we speak!! But I have to admit, I only managed it today because for some reason, I felt strangely calm. I even had a conversation with someone in the High Street. Bet it's not like that tomorrow, but I keep hoping!
Love Christine

paul009
29-03-04, 16:06
hiya jolly

hell i think we can all relate to the shopping trip, rather than going to do all the shopping in one go i do a little bit every day pick a quiet time and go if it gets to bad i just walk out

i flew back from Ireland yesterday and had an attack on the plane now thats one placed you cant walk out of. well unless you pack your own parachute
dont put yourself under any pressure, YOU take control and do what you can when you can

paul
the norfolk nutter[:o)]

no one REMEMBER no one has ever died from having a panic attack.ok troops be carefull out there

Meg
29-03-04, 17:47
Hey Jules,

Some of anything is absolutely fine, it's the having all simple sugars as everyday main meals that won't be good for your system or anxiety - but it's all completely a personal choice so each to their own..





Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

Lilith
29-03-04, 20:31
Hi, Christine. I love what you said about everything looking wrong, and looking too hard through your eyes. I know exactly what you mean, but I can't seem to explain it to anyone else. The lights and the ceilings in supermarkets make me feel very weird. Do "normal" people really feel this way too? I don't think so. They seem to just go in and get what they want and come out again without a thought. I'm pretty sure that's the way I was before. A couple of days ago I was in an open-air shopping mall and I was thinking how pleasant it was, and how this was a mall that wouldn't bother me. Guess what? I had a panic attack. I took a Xanax and quietly freaked out until it took effect. The whole time I was at this mall I kept wondering why I'm always thinking about how I'm feeling, instead of just shopping and enjoying myself like other people seem to be doing.

stimpy
29-03-04, 23:07
Well Done Jolly ! You got yourself some flowers and spoke to someone in the high street, that is fantastic.

Oh "warner bros law of gravity" - I know that one well.
Funny isn't it how Wile E Coyote keeps on walking, then notices that there is nothing underneath him, and that is when he falls.

And we are just the same. You're thinking, hey this is kind of cool ... Not a panic insight, then it hits you, you are not panicing and you panic.

That happens to me a lot, too.

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx

[:p] Panic Monster & Scatty Eccentric

Sinead
31-03-04, 08:15
Morning to you all, I'm very much like you all I dont like supermarkets, If i have to go in, i think i do the quickest supermarket dash possible but the problem then i always forget half the things i went in for. All the time going around, i have that feeling that i'm not there and then panic big time when you get to the cash till, and everyone in front has trollys full to the brim and the few item till have extra long queues. (as you see i dont like queueing, PA big time, I like to go in and out as fast as i can). It got so bad at christmas time, and having no food in the house, that i took the easy way out and ordered on line with Iceland home shopping. I know i have to over come my fear of supermarkets but i am doing this slowly like you said buying a few things at the time, but i know if i cant do it one time we still have things in the house to eat.

Sinead

jollywalrus
31-03-04, 13:19
Hi Everyone,
I've made a bit of a boob! This morning I was in the chemist part of the supermarket getting my happy pills, when I bumped in to someone I know. She started telling me all about her Thyroid problems, but unfortunately, because I couldn't hop around from foot to foot mentally telling myself I would be next in the queue, I could feel the panic rising. On and on she went and I really felt rooted to the spot. I needed to get out and I think I vaguely heard her say "Do you think I look a lot fatter?" Well, my name got called and I grabbed my tablets and said "Yes" when I really meant "No" and my friends chin dropped to the floor! I started to apologise, but by this time I was ready to pass out (not really, of course). She said that I had really upset her, which I wouldn't have done for the world and I'm now debating wether to phone her and apologise again.
The problem is nobody thinks good old happy-go-lucky Christine could ever suffer from an anxiety disorder (even my doctor said that!) and so I try to pretend I'm ok all the time.
What do you think all? Shall I phone or will I make it worse?
Christine

kate
31-03-04, 15:32
Oh poor you, Christine, I know exactly how you felt!

If I were in your shoes, I would phone her and just apologise and tell her you were feeling unwell and had to get out quickly!

Keep it brief, but I think a small explanation would be beneficial.

Good luck!

Kate x

Jules31
31-03-04, 16:04
yeah I would call her too Christine.

Don't you hate it when everyone thinks you have just got it so together, when it couldn't be furthest from the truth

Hugs
Jules

kate
31-03-04, 16:16
Too right, Jules!

The amount of people who I have told about the panic and they have said "Really? You are the last person I would have thought would have had panic".

I mean, what you supposed to do, just freak out in front of people? As if!!

Kate x

paul009
31-03-04, 16:17
hi
i would give her a ring and explain everything
if you dont your going to sit worrying about it and thats only going to make things worse. im sure once she knows she will be fine
i do find it hard explaining to someone exactly what im going through when i have an attack, i can see them looking at me in sheer disbelif that no-one could ever have those sort of feelings and thoughts.
Give your friend a ring and invite her for a coffee

the norfolk nutter[:o)]

mind you if she had put on weight you were only telling the truth (only joking)

no one REMEMBER no one has ever died from having a panic attack.ok troops be carefull out there

Gale
01-04-04, 20:35
[V]I can relate to a lot of the comments and feelings about shopping in supermarkets. I prefer to shop for just a few things at a time. It's standing at the checkout I find worst, if I can't get out quickly my mind starts working overtime. I my case I panic inside and the negative thoughts start, I start getting red all over and just want to escape. I've been fighting this for many years, it seems like one step forward and two back.

I sometimes feel that I have a mixture of agrophobia, claustrophobia and social phobia! Sorry to sound so depressing. :)

kate
01-04-04, 20:53
Hiya Gale,

I too hate standing in the checkout queues.

If I have a trolley, not a basket, I hate the keep bending down to the trolley then up and put the shopping on the conveyor belt.

Gets me so hot and bothered and dizzy.

Basket is MUCH better, queues are always smaller, so in and out so much easier!

Kate x