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edsempire
05-05-11, 14:40
Hi everyone!

I'm new to the forum although I have looked on here quite a bit to see if anyone else has the same problems as me.

Essentially I am a bit of a worrier and its generally about things I cannot control, such as:

the bank of England base rate rising and me not being able to afford my mortgage

not being able to find lodgers for my house so I can still afford my mortgage

and the biggie, when I am i relationships I cannot stop worrying about what my partner (female) is up to when I am not about

The first two things are examples of little things that I can generally deal with but as I said the biggie is the relationship one - I am fine as long as feel in control of the relationship - little things set me off such as my girlfriend wanting to go out to the pub to see her friends (male and female) when I am away working (I work away week on week off), her not wanting sex (our sex life is fairly healthy but I just take it very personally if she doesn't want to have sex one night and think she doesn't want me any more) and if she has a day when she is not particularly cuddly it makes me feel very panicky for the same reasons.

I have felt this way for twenty years or so - I'm 31 and my first girlfriend was at 10 or so - I remember feeling like this about her all those years ago! I am pretty outgoing and confident when I am not in a relationship but the anxiety eats away at me and makes me depressed eventually when I'm in a relationship.... I also get pins and needles in my hands and face and feel short of breath. Unfortunately/fortunately I seem to have developed an ability to completely mask this and no-one can tell that I'm feeling like a having a total breakdown. Apart from my mum lol - always the way she can read me like a book even now! I think it is because I go quieter and lose confidence and the tone of my voice changes.

Most of my relationships have made me feel this way and the last girl I went out with I feel pretty rubbish about as she was lovely and I did love her, but just didn't fancy her enough and sort of picked her as she was a 'safe choice' - very quiet and I always knew what she was up to as she just didn't go out and do anything. As a result I felt like I was in control and did all the usual things that I would do - go to the pub with friends (only once a week or so) but she ended up feeling like I usually do - for this I feel very guilty and regret making her feel like this.

The only defence I have for this is that she also had serious control issues and the things I did I would consider to be normal within a relationship.....

The logic is all there, I understand it is normal to go out with other friends and I do not feel that she is doing anything unreasonable.

I am seeing a psychologist who says that my symptoms are very OCD like - it gets going on a loop in my head and I cannot get rid of the loop. Is she having fun with other people (generally guys I worry about) will she leave me - I am even jealous of my brother who she lives with in a house share - that is how we met. I just don't like the feeling of having to share her with others and cannot deal with the anxiety of it.

It is easier to end the relationship and then I would go back to being confident and outgoing and not reliant on someone else :(

However, this has left me with three options - go out with someone I don't really like as much as I should in order to be in a relationship I can handle, or alternatively go out with someone I like as much as I should and feel in a constant state of panic, or not be in a relationship as I can't handle it.

As these are not sensible solutions I have been to see a psychologist and she is trying to help me with the issues with CBT etc - I have had an assessment and one session. I am having to pay for this as I cannot wait for the twelve weeks for the NHS as I will be in a pit of depression and panic by then.

The psychologist also said that in the first instance that medication would help to stop the anxiety alongside the CBT and that I should try Pregabalin - recommended by a Psychiatrist she is in contact with based on my symptoms.

I have tried Propranolol and this did not help - or perhaps did in the first instance but not reliably and made me feel very sluggish which I do not like.

So today, the Pregabalin has been taken for the first time. The psychologist recommended to my GP that this is what I should be prescribed and I believe that I am lucky to have been prescribed it as it is very expensive - this is only what I have read in other's threads though.

The Psychiatrist said specifically that the standard recommendations should not be followed and that I should start off on a VERY small dose (25mg once a day) and build it up slowly - 50 mg second week, 75 mg second week etc etc.

I am slightly curious about this as I have read that a decent whack is needed to get it to work (150mg to 300mg per day) but I shall follow the instructions and see what happens.

I took the first tablet just over 2 hours ago now - feel slightly sleepy but that could just be that I got up early this morning!

I am not feeling panicky at the moment but I do not know whether this is the effect of the medication or not! Or perhaps just feeling as though I have taken control of the situation a little and believing that things will be ok!

The difference between the pharmacological and the psychological is not yet clear!

Hopefully over the course of the next week or so this will become clear and the drugs will achieve their purpose!

Next update tomorrow - won't be so long and waffly - just wanted to explain the background behind it.

If anyone has any questions or anything they want clarifying please feel free to ask. And of course - feel free to contribute anything at all!

And yes, as I said before, the logic is there, I realise I have a problem - I realise what is rational worry and what is not, but cannot apply (YET!!!) the rationale, hence the medication while the CBT is worked through!

sunset30
06-05-11, 03:35
Hey Edsempire

I totally empathise with your situation as i am going through the same thing :).

I always came across as a depressed person even from a young age and possibly very introvert, painfully shy til i hit 13-14 years of age then went of the rails looking for solice in adult company, drink,drugs and drink to cope with life ( may i add the only time i ever felt incontrol or relaxed was in these conditions but not always). I don't do these things any more mind.
As i grew up became more and more anxious, no trust in anyone, even the friends/family still feel like that now. Desperately wanted not to feel like this maybe some of the major events that happened in my life contributed to my illness or family predisposition. One of the most embarrassing :blush:things having sweaty hands and feet which are set of by anything which makes me more anxious about people seeing.

I always thought i had very bad depression with anxiety /paranoia as a secondary thing try loads of different Anti-depressants, councelling but always felt i only got so far with these maybe i didnt give them long enough, but i hated relying on these things in life so i always reverted to my bad ways or never left the house unless i had to.
I struggled to hold down jobs or find any motivation but if i do i get very obsessive and also in my relationship with my boyfriend now and previous ones. Feel like a bit of a loony at times because my head races a 100 mile an hour sometimes or constantly plays stupid events that have bothered me over and over again. So much so trying to sleep at night is almost impossible for me, its exhausting :doh: So i suffer with insomnia which is a huge pain in the arse as it effects your mood more when you don't get any kip.

At times i can pretend to play the confident nothing bothering me person and then ii slip in to the isolated, trapped, anxious person again with a drop of a hat.

Needless to say my doctor has recognised that my anxiety could be the primary problem which sets of depression as a secondary problem and thinks i have GAD like you, social anxiety disorder too.
So he wanted to try me on the same drug as you Pregabalin. I started this med 3weeks ago 25mg one week, uped the next week to 50mg and last week 75gm.

I got to say i felt pretty strange and still do at times but i do feel a slightly more calmer but know where near what i need to be to deal with things 100% yet. But do find that i had a few dizzy spells at the start and feeling of more anxious and felt i should be doing something active but all of a sudden exhausted. Trying to get active i would get tied with in a few a couple of hours. Everything felt a bit sereal and noticed i was doing doppy things like putting the cooking oil in the freezer a few times :roflmao: Putting coffee in a cup of tea. Buts that seems to of pass a bit.
I have calmed down a bit. I'm not feeling half as bad as i would feel of Anti-depressants but still get the sweaty hands for no reason at times. I have had a bit of quick temptedness at times to. But generally i feel i might be on the right kind of meds for my illness not totally sure yet. Just hoping that when they increase my does in 2 weeks time that i will be feeling more lifted and not so lethargic.
Please excuse some of my spelling as i am dyslexic.

Hopefully you will start seeing the benefits quickly but i am more than happy to let you know how i get on with mine . But all medications effect people differently so you may feel different things, hopefully all positive for you!

Good luck with it chook and keep me posted :D

Sorry i have waffled on lol

edsempire
06-05-11, 17:05
Hi!

Interesting to hear from someone else who has the same issues - my anxiety is generally ok as long as I can keep in control of everything - its the relationship thing that really gets me going as you cannot control what another person is thinking or doing! And if you do try it just pushes them away :( which is not the desired result! I also worry that I am going to push them away with behaviour like that - a double edged sword!

I have been feeling calmer today, with only slight jitters that I think that my girlf will be going out to the pub tonight with her friends and I am trapped at work miles away. I don't know still if this is psychological that I am feeling slightly better about it or if the pregabalin is working. I feel ever so slightly fuzzy headed but nothing I can't cope with.

I have not really taken much in the way of medication before as I was concerned that it was a road that I didn't really want to go down as who knows what is going to do to you really.

I too have found solace in drink and drugs but also don't do them any more - a few beers is all now as the hangovers are terrible. When I say drugs it was just a lots of weed - I have tried other stuff but never made a habit of it....

What is it that sets you off in terms of relationships - is it the control thing and worrying about what they are doing all of the time? And that they might lose their feelings for you? Or not actually have them and are just stringing you along? And is it also better when you are not in a relationship as the doubt element has gone - I would be interested to hear you views on this!

I am going to keep on with the CBT thing to see if it helps - they have essentially tried to straighten out my reasoning by discussing what I do with my girlf that makes our relationship different than her relationship with others (not just sex!) and also to tell my self that whenever a thought comes into my mind that is not good to tell myself to shut up and distract my self by doing something else - ie make a list of things that I can do like mow the lawn, clean the car etc etc. Also a list of questions to ask people - my confidence goes and I don't want to chat when I am feeling like this so its a list of openers if you like. It is strange as when I'm not in a relationship this stuff always comes so easy - I used to do a job which required a great deal of self confidence, dealing with a bunch of very sharp people and staff on a reasonably high level - couldn't do that in this state.....

Keep me updated with what is going on - perhaps this thread will be useful to others who think that they are the only person who goes loony over this sort of thing!!

Its just having to take an enormous leap of trust and faith in someone and effectively be at their mercy feelings-wise - rationally that doesn't seem like a good idea somehow. But hey ho gotta give it a go or I'll be single forever!!!

edsempire

edsempire
06-05-11, 20:19
Ok, so now I'm feeling a little bit fuzzy! Not terrible but a little bit woozy. Not an unpleasant feeling but just a little fluffy round the edges....

Hmmm.

haz
07-05-11, 01:02
I was prescribed pregabalin when I was also on escitalopram and diazepam. I was meant to take 3 x 50mg a day but I could only manage two. They totally spaced me out. I couldn't trust myself to cross the road safely when I was on them. Stopped them in consultation with my psychiatrist after a week. Maybe he started me on too high a dose, also might have been better on their own rather than with the other meds.

Good Luck, I hope they work for you.

Haz.

sunset30
07-05-11, 02:50
Hey Edsempire

Its sounds like you maybe starting to feel a bit of the kick in effects of the meds and anice bonus for you your not so anxious about your girlfriends out tonight.

You do get the slightly fluffy around the edges feeling quite sereal but not completely unpleasant. can be sort of compared to being slightly tiddly with out the hang over.
Its mad you have mentioned bad hang overs because i always get them if i drink hence i dont drink much at all plus the being sit thing is so not a sexy look for a woman:roflmao:. But i smoked a lot of weed for years and wondering if that had taken its tole on the old nervous system?

I'm still plodding on with the Pregablin but still getting the anxious sweaty hands and feet and slight shaky hand the feeling of fuzziness but slightly calmer. But hasn't helped me at all yet with my insomnia hopefully having the does increased will help that.

The feelings i get about my relationship are a mixed bag really.
first one is trust big fat trust lol it seems i always felt he was lying to me about where he was going or talking to thinking he was meeting up with other woman or even when he was with friends the fear he would meet someone while out having fun. Thoughts that maybe i wasn't good enough for him so he would drop me like a hot potatoe once got attention from somene else.
Also the control thing i like to call it respect i guess he thinks its definatly control haha. I don't like people taking advantage of me or disrespecting me, i would hate it if he flirted,talked to or showed any attention to another woman who i deemed attractive. If he says anything about a attractive woman on the tv i find it disrepsectful as i wouldnt do it to him but it does upset me and i see it as hes trying to hurt me. Then i think if he s like this infront of me whats he like when hes out?
My partner has mentioned he feels he can not go out or do anything with out scrutinising what he does this has calmed down a bit now over last 2 months also noticed these meds helped the last 3 weeks.

I must say i have gone through he pc and mobile phone at times hoping that there is nothing on there to try and calm my worries. But saw something that could of been taken the wrong way once that was it i could feel my heart pounding,sicking feeling in the belly and amillions emotions at once. It was aweful.

I don't know weather to trust my own judgement anymore because of control and anxiety i have about him doing something or leaving me.

I must say i have had this with most of my relationships or even people i thought i was getting into something with and get very irrationally obsessive like there my whole world. Which really seems rediculious. When i slpit up from most of my partners i going to a morning type state and can't be with anyone for along time or avoild it like the plague when i get back to try to be a stronger person not in a relationship i don't need to worry about all those fear of loss,anxiety and obssessions. Or being emotionally drained. As feel different when single.
I have been on my own say i dont want to be with someone but in side i do i just try to emotinally try to cut myself of from possibly being distroyed emotionaly every time. Takes me so long to totally get over someone to move on and trust again also fear of rejcet is overwhelming at time in the past.
Because i am in a position at the moment trying to get the GAD in order i am not the most socialable and haven't been for many years ,unless drink and drugs were the key especailly years ago.

How else does your condition effect you?

Do you find it can cause your sex drive to got very high and non exsistent at times?
Hope thats not to personal?

sunset30
07-05-11, 03:10
Hi Haz

I'm just thinking about what you said i think thats a lot of medication to take at once. I'm just wondering if they should of left you on just the Pregablin and escitalpram and took you of the diazapan, as diazapan treats the same thing as the Pregagablin.
BUt i am not a doctors so i would probably discuss it more with them as much as possible.
Just wondering how extreme you condition is and is it GAD, depression and social anxiety?

JT69
07-05-11, 13:52
Hi Haz,

I agree with sunset...am suprised that you took diaz along with pregabalin as yes they are for the same so am not suprised you felt spaced out.

I take pregabalin along with mirtazipine and it has been a wonder drug for me. I am thinking of stopping the mirtazipine and just taking the pregabalin to see how I go with that.

Jo.xx

JT69
07-05-11, 13:55
Hi edsempire,

Do you take the pregabalin on its own or along with an anti-dep med???

Jo.xx

sunset30
07-05-11, 14:09
Hi Jt69
Sounds like you getting positive response, gerat stuff!

edsempire
07-05-11, 18:25
Hi edsempire,

Do you take the pregabalin on its own or along with an anti-dep med???

Jo.xx


Hi Jo,

The pregablin is on its own - I'm not depressed at the moment. The depression normally comes along after I have been in a state of huge anxiety for a fair while. It can knock me sideways. It is a vicious circle as when I get anxious I don't want to chat to people and my confidence goes so therefore I then get depressed because I'm not doing anything....

And also because I'm not the same confident outgoing person that my other half met, they then leave me. A self fufilling prophecy that I am trying to break!!

Edsempire

edsempire
07-05-11, 18:52
Hi sunset30,


Hey Edsempire

Its sounds like you maybe starting to feel a bit of the kick in effects of the meds and anice bonus for you your not so anxious about your girlfriends out tonight.

Yes but still not sure if it is the meds as they are at such a low dose

You do get the slightly fluffy around the edges feeling quite sereal but not completely unpleasant. can be sort of compared to being slightly tiddly with out the hang over.
Its mad you have mentioned bad hang overs because i always get them if i drink hence i dont drink much at all plus the being sit thing is so not a sexy look for a woman:roflmao:. But i smoked a lot of weed for years and wondering if that had taken its tole on the old nervous system?

I have wondered this about the weed thing but I remember being like it before I started smoking weed so although it *may* have made things worse I have no way of telling as I was already like it before....

I'm still plodding on with the Pregablin but still getting the anxious sweaty hands and feet and slight shaky hand the feeling of fuzziness but slightly calmer. But hasn't helped me at all yet with my insomnia hopefully having the does increased will help that.

The feelings i get about my relationship are a mixed bag really.
first one is trust big fat trust lol it seems i always felt he was lying to me about where he was going or talking to thinking he was meeting up with other woman or even when he was with friends the fear he would meet someone while out having fun. Thoughts that maybe i wasn't good enough for him so he would drop me like a hot potatoe once got attention from somene else.

For me it is exactly the same, except with one slight difference - I do not believe that I am not good enough for her. My self esteem is not too bad at the moment, although it will go as the anxiety and depression creep in. I am not the worst looking guy in the room, but neither am I the best looking. I am not the most boring and not the funniest. I'm not the worst in bed but not the best - I am an average guy. The problem I have is that there are hundreds of average guys out there so why would she not be constantly looking for something else - a change is as good as a rest etc....

Also the control thing i like to call it respect i guess he thinks its definatly control haha. I don't like people taking advantage of me or disrespecting me, i would hate it if he flirted,talked to or showed any attention to another woman who i deemed attractive.

Yes me too - its ok if they are deeply un-attractive tho lol

If he says anything about a attractive woman on the tv i find it disrepsectful as i wouldnt do it to him but it does upset me and i see it as hes trying to hurt me. Then i think if he s like this infront of me whats he like when hes out?

That's what I see - is it intended to hurt me? Why would you say it? But then I find myself saying things similar just to be 'even' and feel like I have some sort of control.

My partner has mentioned he feels he can not go out or do anything with out scrutinising what he does this has calmed down a bit now over last 2 months also noticed these meds helped the last 3 weeks.

I must say i have gone through he pc and mobile phone at times hoping that there is nothing on there to try and calm my worries. But saw something that could of been taken the wrong way once that was it i could feel my heart pounding,sicking feeling in the belly and amillions emotions at once. It was aweful.

Thats the feeling - I'm glad I'm not alone - it feels like your head is going into overload and the tummy won't stop flipping! I have to admit to checking e-mails and facebook and also phone - but without her knowledge - v bad. It does no good though as I then start thinking she must be deleting the relevant messages. I found a message from someone on her phone (a uni friend I think) saying he had heard that she had been in contact with someone in his family (totally innocent) and then something about 'give us a snog then' which I didn't like at all. It looks like she didn't reply but she didn't tell me about the message. Also, I can't question her about it as otherwise she'll know I went through her phone :(

I don't know weather to trust my own judgement anymore because of control and anxiety i have about him doing something or leaving me.

Yes, you start doubting whether you are being rational or not and not being sure whether they are playing games with your feelings or they are just being a normal person and you are being the weird one!!!....

I must say i have had this with most of my relationships or ev
en people i thought i was getting into something with and get very irrationally obsessive like there my whole world. Which really seems rediculious. When i slpit up from most of my partners i going to a morning type state and can't be with anyone for along time or avoild it like the plague when i get back to try to be a stronger person not in a relationship i don't need to worry about all those fear of loss,anxiety and obssessions. Or being emotionally drained. As feel different when single.
I have been on my own say i dont want to be with someone but in side i do i just try to emotinally try to cut myself of from possibly being distroyed emotionaly every time. Takes me so long to totally get over someone to move on and trust again also fear of rejcet is overwhelming at time in the past.
Because i am in a position at the moment trying to get the GAD in order i am not the most socialable and haven't been for many years ,unless drink and drugs were the key especailly years ago.

How else does your condition effect you?

Do you find it can cause your sex drive to got very high and non exsistent at times?

Not too personal - I'm not shy lol. You can perhaps help me with this issue being a girl and all. I have a reasonably good sex drive - ie once a day or whatever. My girlf said at the start that she had times that she didn't fancy sex so much, but despite this she was all over me for the first couple of months - and she was hot for me if that is not too crude a term. It now feels like I am the one making all the advances to start things off - I want her to WANT me too - ie start things off. We have a good sex life but I feel like I am the one that is wanting sex and AGAIN she holds all the cards. I am at her mercy if you like as I want sex more than she does and am a little (well more than a little) upset when she doesn't want to.... It just feels like that a game is being played - she knows that I want it so she is in control of the situation - or is this all in my head? She knows that my sex drive is higher than hers!!

And what is the way around this - I have thought about playing it a bit cool and not having sex with her for a while, but I think that this is just playing games. Also I want sex with her so am I just shooting myself in the foot?

I don't know whether this would resolve the situation but it just feels like I am trying to make her worried that I don't want sex in order that she makes me feel better by wanting sex. But in the meantime games are being played and sex is being missed out on.....

BTW anxiety about the relationship immediately subsides after sex for a good little while so it is quite an important one to me....



Depression has in the past played with my sex drive and made me not want it so much - however I would generally take it if it was offered. I think it might be different for boys and girls.....

SOOOOOO confused!!

Hope thats not to personal?

You can ask what you like - I doubt whether it will be too personal. I don't know what is tolerated on here or not but its not like we're being graphic - its a serious subject - or a least I feel so....

edsempire

edsempire
07-05-11, 18:54
I haven't got the hang of the quote thing obviously - there are replies to your questions interspersed with your quote in the above post.

Hope its not too unclear!

edsempire
07-05-11, 18:56
PS got a bit of a headache today but don't know if it is meds related - it has been hot outside today....

sunset30
07-05-11, 21:06
hey edsempire its ok i get notifications to this thread so i know when people reply.

Yeah i hope nobody is offend about being frank about these things it all part of the parcel of it all i wreckon.

Yeah i think i may have had a bit of a head ache at the start. I have read other peoples threads on here saying that they feel dehydrated so maybe try and keep a drink of water at hand that might be why, especailly if your feeling a bit hot. Hope your head ache passes soon chook.

edsempire
08-05-11, 16:23
Feeling ok, headache gone. Panic symptoms seem to have subsided a bit.... I am slightly confused about why I have been started on such a low dose as most studies / people seem to say that 150 mg is the minimum that will have an effect.....

Have a little drymouth but nothing too bad!

Have a good weekend all!

As I work away for a week I am coming to the end of that week now - updates may be a little sketchy for the next seven days.....

JT69
08-05-11, 16:54
Hi edsempire,

I think the reason for the starting on low dose and increasing slowly minimises the dizzyness that this med can cause when first taking it. When I started it, I too had to start off low then increase up. At the highest dose I took 100mg am and 100mg before bed..I now take 100mg at night and 50mg in the morning and it seems to be doing the trick!!!

Good luck...interesting to follow your thread.

Jo.xx

haz
08-05-11, 22:31
Hi Haz

I'm just thinking about what you said i think thats a lot of medication to take at once. I'm just wondering if they should of left you on just the Pregablin and escitalpram and took you of the diazapan, as diazapan treats the same thing as the Pregagablin.
BUt i am not a doctors so i would probably discuss it more with them as much as possible.
Just wondering how extreme you condition is and is it GAD, depression and social anxiety?

Hi,

I was in a "crisis" at the time. Ended up in hospital shortly afterwards. I have Panic Disorder, GAD, and severe recurrent depression. I'm on sertraline, diazepam and zopiclone now and have started psychology. I wouldn't rule out trying pregabalin again, just starting on a lower dose and on its own. A friend of mine has switched from citalopram to pregabalin a few months back and she said it has changed her life, but they realised she was suffering from bilpolar disorder.

Regards.

Haz.x

sunset30
08-05-11, 22:51
Hey haz

May be the lower dose of pregablin is the best option for you. But if you needed all three of those meds thats fair enough everyones different and have different needs chick. But sounds like you have come really far from where you were before. Great news! I hope things keep improving for you :).
I hope that Preagablin works for me in the way its worked for your friend over next few months hopefully on a higher dose. Nice to hear some positive results, makes it more promising for the rest of us.:yesyes:

sunset30
08-05-11, 22:55
P.s You have a great weekend to emdsempire!

haz
08-05-11, 23:45
Hey haz

May be the lower dose of pregablin is the best option for you. But if you needed all three of those meds thats fair enough everyones different and have different needs chick. But sounds like you have come really far from where you were before. Great news! I hope things keep improving for you :).
I hope that Preagablin works for me in the way its worked for your friend over next few months hopefully on a higher dose. Nice to hear some positive results, makes it more promising for the rest of us.:yesyes:

I really hope it works for you too. :flowers:

sunset30
09-05-11, 04:52
Hey Edsempire

In reply to your quoted message i totally get and understand becuase i have felt like this before many times with my boyfriend. I got very paranoid and anxious about it thought they didnt love me no more or they were up to no good

My boyfriend at the start couldnt keep his hands of me and it was great then it started dwiddling a couple of months in to our relationship. believe it or not my sex drive was loads more higher than my fellas and always felt rejected and upset when he wasnt interested and took it personally. For me sexual contact was about big time stress relief, being close and still being wanted. the more he rejected me the more my sex drive went up. To be honest it got like a bit of a obcession. He started telling me he felt pressured and didnt feel interested and we would argue and i felt we were drifting a part as this was huge thing to me i felt i was no longer attractive, sexy even and that i was not getting my needs met. I felt like i was the one with the male hormones as it was necessary for me to take part in this as it made me feel better for a while afterwards just like you. My partner before thought had a high sex drive he could not deal with my needs in that respect either.
But my fella now said the more i kept asking the more it put him off for some reason as he didnt always feel the same way and he didnt want to have sex as ofetn as me (sex would of been my hobby with if i could of had my way lol).
It got to the point i would either get angry or really upset that i would argue with him and cry. He even called me a pervert once. Plus he was very selfish in the way he expected sex to be about him all the time when we did, which killed it for me as i wasnt feeling wanted or getting my needs met. So eventaully i started to get a bit recentful and one day my sex drive completely went and depression did get a bit worse for me at this time weather that had anything to do with it, but it got to the point months down the line the tables were reversed.
I would reject him as he wasnt doing nothing for me or considering my needs and if we did felt unforfilled or it was a chore.
Then i completely stopped sleeping with him for quite a while he asked me why and i told him i wasnt interested then i had to eventually tell him why and what i needed from him in the sexual relationship. He was upset a bit and over time he took on board what i a said and tried to make more of a effort and those urges came back abit. But it my sex drive is not what it was as i was more of a 3+ a day girl but i suppose your sex drive starts to set its self by your partner when you have lost it and got it back. Sometiems the anti deperssants only taken for small peroids of this time may have contributed to my low drive. The main thing was getting rejected and the excitment of that sort of clossness.

My sex drive has come back more since i started the Pregabalin for some strange reason:yesyes:. But have been rejected a few times this weekend and found my self getting slightly offended and a tad upset.

Maybe being sexually close to our partners means alot to us emotionaly, stress relief and clossness and the need to be wanted and feel good about ourselves as well as the obvious.
Maybe it could be a trait we can not help taking it personally becuase our anxieties may get the better of us and thing maybe our partners have no use for us anymore or there bored or losing the closs connection?

It doesn't sound like shes playing a games may be explain how you feel to her she could be going through a phase where shes just not feeling to sexual at the moment?

Do you think you could not make any advances and wait till she come to you to see it that reignites things?

Or may be ask her is there anything you can do different she may want to try different things?

sunset30
10-05-11, 12:12
I don't know if i am on the right meds for me...seriously considering coming off these Pregabalin. Fed up of feeling dizzy with every rolled cigeratte and eeling tired and slightly scatty. This week i have felt quite down, not sure if that is me or the meds and the wieght i have put on. I want to go out sometimes over the last week but having feeling like i dont want to at the same time fow 4week for of taking these i think i should be feeling slightly better. The biggest bonus is having a sexdrive i dont think that should be one of the reasons for staying on them. Somone was ment to be training me up in photography they have rang me today and i feel i may not be in the greatedt place to to be learning as my meemory isnt that great at the mo and my attention. I think i'm doing my own head here. Anyone got any other suggestions on other meds to try that dont make you feel to dopped up and scatty for anxiety (non-addictive if possible)? Feel slightly numb :doh:

haz
10-05-11, 19:39
Hi,

When my anxiety was at it's worst i.e. had to be hospitalised, I COULD not smoke a cigarette. I have smoked since I was 15 yrs old and I'm 42 yrs old now. Even a few puffs sent me reeling and brought on a huge panic attack! When I was well enough to take note of my surroundings I noticed posters on the hospitals walls explaining that nicotine is really bad for anxiety.

Haz.x

haz
10-05-11, 19:40
Now I only smoke in my house and when I'm sitting down cos I;m scared it will make me dizzy and bring on a panic attack.

sunset30
10-05-11, 19:47
Hiya haz

It happens more when i smoke rolling tobacco which is every day now as i can not afford to smoke proper cigerettes.
I'm wondering if its to do with the meds im on which is Pregabalin. But would love to give up smoking but thats the only thing really i take any pleasure in at the moment, and i do that compulsively. I dont go anywhere, hardly drink. The joys of anxiety and depression :S

sunset30
12-05-11, 10:27
I Everyone

Over the last 1 1/2 weeks been feeling really low and i was less likely to leave the flat, could not concentrate much, physically exhausted. Then generally feeling lower and lower. I could feel the build up of emotions getting stronger until one day. I was getting so upset i bust in to tears and it went on for a while. Then came the thoughts of thinking i can not cope with living like the anymore and had enough. Felt there was no hope for me a si i have had this on and of for so many years since akids really. Then came the thought and the flashing images in my head of me not being here anymore and my family sad and upset but almost a relief in a way for me. It started to feel like my only escape suicide. It was very upsetting but it was almost logical as it seemed like a good way out. Not sure if this is due to taking Pregabalin or as i have had thoughts like this before it just hieghtened them.
Realised that i have these before but i did think these thoughts were normal. Possibly normal for someone like me.
Luckily my sister came over that day and talked to me for the first time told her the truth of what actually goes on in my head. But I do feel so guilty for saying those things to her as she has been having bad dreams about be topping myself.

Going to see the doctor today to see what he says dont know whether to stay on theses meds or try something else. I'm just getting tired of the constant fight to have anormal life. But i feel a little bit better today but there is the underly sadness and not so much feeling doppy and crap which is abonus.
I think im going of my boyfriend at the moment i have not told him how i felt the other day and dont want to either.
But on a lighter note i left the flat yesturday for a short time.:)

sunset30
12-05-11, 14:36
Not sure whats happened to the message i left on here. Mayhave been taken off.

Anyway I have been taken of Pregabalin as its not doing the job and the thoughts i am getting with it so starting Mirtazapine so fingers crossed it works!

Hope everyone is doing well on there Pregablin though.

edsempire
18-05-11, 22:24
Thanks for your replies people! I'm feeling ok at the moment, the counselling with the psychotherapist seems to be working a bit and perhaps the Pregabalin is helping a bit - I've been taking 50mg a day and just about to up it to 75mg a day. I am feeling quite tired at the moment and I don't know if this has anything to do with it or not. Also quite hungry which is what I've read is one of the side effects. Not had any dulling in the sex drive department but as you and the counsellor suggested didn't bother initiating anything to see if she would come to me - eventually she did but it took six days (of hell). It is exactly as you say sunset30 - the closeness of the act makes you feel wanted, stress relief etc etc The rejection isn't nice.... It is a little worse for me as my girlf seems not be able to reach orgasm - although she has said right from the very beginning she wasn't able to, even on her own - I guess this might ruin the point of it for her a little but she says she likes the closeness. I'm not a three times a day guy - once is generally enough (but could probably quite happily do morning and evening lol) - especially as I am away for two weeks a month.....
We shall have to see how things go.... I think that she will probably go out this Friday with her mates to the pub so I'll have to see how I react then - I was ok last week when she went before coming home to me - I guess that I'll just have to tell myself that she keeps coming back so perhaps it will keep happening and I'll gradually get used to it.
Have also been feeling slightly scatty as you say sunset30 - not being able to remember anything and putting things down on the side and not remembering I have put it there.... Not ideal....!!!
I smoke and have been wondering whether the smoking has been doing me any good - I started smoking again when all this 'new relationship issues' started - trying to work out whether the stress caused me to start smoking or the starting smoking made the anxiety worse - both started at roughly the same time - gonna try to give up again very soon. Has been giving me a bit of a headrush (rollies) but again this has been better over the last few days.
Hope all is well in the land of Pregablin takers!
Another update shortly - 75mg a day starting tomorrow!
Cheers all!!

sunset30
19-05-11, 00:43
Thanks for your replies people! I'm feeling ok at the moment, the counselling with the psychotherapist seems to be working a bit and perhaps the Pregabalin is helping a bit - I've been taking 50mg a day and just about to up it to 75mg a day. I am feeling quite tired at the moment and I don't know if this has anything to do with it or not. Also quite hungry which is what I've read is one of the side effects. Not had any dulling in the sex drive department but as you and the counsellor suggested didn't bother initiating anything to see if she would come to me - eventually she did but it took six days (of hell). It is exactly as you say sunset30 - the closeness of the act makes you feel wanted, stress relief etc etc The rejection isn't nice.... It is a little worse for me as my girlf seems not be able to reach orgasm - although she has said right from the very beginning she wasn't able to, even on her own - I guess this might ruin the point of it for her a little but she says she likes the closeness. I'm not a three times a day guy - once is generally enough (but could probably quite happily do morning and evening lol) - especially as I am away for two weeks a month.....
We shall have to see how things go.... I think that she will probably go out this Friday with her mates to the pub so I'll have to see how I react then - I was ok last week when she went before coming home to me - I guess that I'll just have to tell myself that she keeps coming back so perhaps it will keep happening and I'll gradually get used to it.
Have also been feeling slightly scatty as you say sunset30 - not being able to remember anything and putting things down on the side and not remembering I have put it there.... Not ideal....!!!
I smoke and have been wondering whether the smoking has been doing me any good - I started smoking again when all this 'new relationship issues' started - trying to work out whether the stress caused me to start smoking or the starting smoking made the anxiety worse - both started at roughly the same time - gonna try to give up again very soon. Has been giving me a bit of a headrush (rollies) but again this has been better over the last few days.
Hope all is well in the land of Pregablin takers!
Another update shortly - 75mg a day starting tomorrow!
Cheers all!!

Hey Ed
Glad that your getting councelling that will help you alot. The side effects i found when my does was increased got worse but you may not have them as bad. The rollies/tabacco gave me terrible head rushes and dizziness to the point i would have to sit down or lie down till it passed, But if you can deal with those side effects i wuld keep at the meds chick. As yu have probably seen on my previous post i had to stop taking Pregabaling it was hindering me more than helping and to wacked to do anything but aggitated and started getting extreemly low mood over a week and suicidal thoughts. But don't panic not everyone gets those ya know. I could of had a sensitivety to them.
I also put on loads of wieght of those meds couldnt stop eating and had grumbling belly like i was still hungry..strange feeling.
Do keep me posted how you get on though Ed. Give the anxiety part time and see how you feel.

The letting her come to you thing for sex is difficult to get use to at first especially when its has so many emotions attached to it but give it time and you will find she will get more keen.
You girlfriend may have problems relaxing in sex hence maybe she can not have orgasum or even you just need to try lots of dfferent things focusing maybe oral masturbation for her. It could also be dryness in the ladies lower regions. It might be worth her just poping along to see her doctor and discussing it the no orgasum thing they might help or they may suggest something to try. But it sounds like your getting somewhere, which is great .

look forward to your future post ed
Take care x

edsempire
20-05-11, 18:49
Hi!

I've tried all things on the no orgasm front - I am pretty sure that isn't down to me - she's never been able to, but yes I'm sure its down to the relaxing thing - I had a female friend who couldn't and then one day she just could. Fingers crossed!!

She doesn't feel comfortable with 'oral masturbation' as you put it - first girl I've come across who doesn't like it and it doesn't have the desired effect with!!!

Panic is low at the moment and I can feel some of my confidence coming back - just hope I don't have any set backs. Guessing there will still be highs and lows but hoping they won't be so dramatic....

Hoping that you can find something else that works for you meds-wise - if you need to chat at any stage I'm about every other week!!

edsempire