Social phobia and trust issues with people!

[sunset30]

Hi wondering if anyone else gets freak out in large socail situations or traveling such as holidays or breaks? even with people they have known for years even family?

My phobia is the most unconsiderate at times. I so want to go out and when i manage it sometimes it doesn't feel so bad. I find it hard to strike aconversation with someone new or people i have known for ages even.
Its feels like i over think the situation wondering if they like me are they trust worthy , will they stab me in the back or lying to me.

i can com across quite or go the other way and come across overly blunt its very hard to explain that to someone whos not in your position you dont mean it.
I've been called a control freak, over baring and a b***h at times.

I get terribly sweaty hands and feet and feel myself get very hot and feel like i make a idiot of myself.:blush:

I can go to my local shopping town at times probaly putting this front of confidence when inside i am constantly assessing things. But knowing i can go home at anytime helps me a bit. But when my partner suggests us going away some where initialy i think that would be nice then all thsi dread and anxiety come over me and my head goes a 100 miles a hour. Something that should be a relaxing joyous thing turns into a highly stressful situation which i can not control and do not really enjoy from start to finish. I feel i have to be assured abit that my partner or people i'm going to be with will not give me that fight or flieght feeling which is truely horrible feeling.

I feel rediculios as i should be able to enjoy these things. I try and give my self positive assurence but it just takes over. Fed up of feeling uncomfortable in my own skin.

Is there anyone else feeling this?

[Spy]

Hi Sunset,

I used to suffer quite badly from social anxiety, always looking for the exit when out, having to sit down and talk to people rather than stand, as I would fear that I was going to collapse. For me it got better when I started trusting my friends with the anxiety and doing social things that felt more comfortable initially and then building it up until for a while I could socialise almost normally! Unfortunately I've had a bit of a relapse in this (putting it mildlly) as I find I isolate myself socialy in response to stress....so it off again. But the thing that helps most is knowing that whatever situation your'e in there will be someone else around you with the same fears and anxieties, to remind yourself that you have a choice, to stay or go but encourage yourself to stay :) - so keep being brave and it will eventually pay off - one day you will be out and you will realise that you forgot to think about being anxious - and thats a good day :) xxxx

[Tyke]

Hi Sunset

Holidays are stressful. I never go abroad, holidaying locally to reduce the anxiety. I wondered if you could improve things by the type of holiday and location you choose? Are some places or some kinds of accommodation likely to make your anxiety better or worse? Will the activities on offer at the resort affect you? If you feel more in control of your situation, you will manage to reduce your anxiety.

Tyke

[sarahblonde32]

hi,
i hate large groups and find socialising hard, i didnt until recently when this anxiety took over! i stopped going out to pubs and seeing friends etc, but i got so lonely that i just took it slowly and started meeting up with friends but always took my car so i could leave etc. I still struggle with eating out, and conversation, i get this weird gagging thing and have to distractions or make sure im totally relaxed. Im supposed to be going on holiday soon to turkey, but at the moment this anxiety is stopping me..
sarah

[sunset30]

Hi Spy
Thank you for thw kind words of advuce and encouragement. I will keep at it thanks youxxxx

[sunset30]

Hi tyke

I'm really not sure what sets it of . I didnt realise how edgy i can appear when i'm away or clingy i am to the person/people i'm away with. I generally dont feel comfortable meeting new people or not being in control of my suroundings i guess. I feel more comfortable when i'm drunk really but can be still anxious when i'm away. I maybe becuase i know that my home is my safety net i guess and i can not relax enough when i'm away i feel like im on a hieghtened state of alert. Trying to slept is a nightmare.I wouldnt say it is constant but most of the time i need to stay with the people i'm with as i think i may painic.

I went to france with my boyfriend a couple of years ago to meet for 1st time and stay with his mother and partner. Well the idea sounded great but i was really anxious about it befoer i got the and when i got there his mum said a few things i may have taken the wrong way and i got so upset and also my partners did to. That was it then i appeared to be moody but i felt really uncomfortable and just wanted to go home i was getting so distressed my partner was being awefil and saying i was attention seeking and i embarrassed him. I spent to days on the pc emailing my sister crying cos i wanted to go home.

So even if i just go away with a friend or anyone it seems to go wrong like it wasnt a realxing experience it was a huge elevated emotinal stress unless i get drunk.

I love the idea of holidays in this country or another and really want to enjoy them but weather with family ,friends or people i know or don't know it seems to be impossible to switch off and i get really emotional, anything upsets me. Its really hard to sleep too. So i'm not bothered if i cant afford a holiday i'm quite glad because i dont have to deal with the stress.

[sunset30]

hi,
i hate large groups and find socialising hard, i didnt until recently when this anxiety took over! i stopped going out to pubs and seeing friends etc, but i got so lonely that i just took it slowly and started meeting up with friends but always took my car so i could leave etc. I still struggle with eating out, and conversation, i get this weird gagging thing and have to distractions or make sure im totally relaxed. Im supposed to be going on holiday soon to turkey, but at the moment this anxiety is stopping me..
sarah

Hey Sarah
Its not easy is it. Do you take anything for it? Or asked the doctor for temepory meds for holiday?
I've just started taking a drug called pregabalin for socail phobia, depression and GAD . Still only on week 3 of the meds but hope this will help me in the future to enjoy the things like hildays and social meets and events. I also struggle at times people watching me doing things i hate it. feel like scrutinising me and get embarrised and make a complete arse of my self by mentionally my anxiety. Also stress if i dont look a certain way before i go out socially, what should i wear ,how i should look, am i attractive looking. Its potty stuff!

I do hope you do manage to enjoy your holiday sweety. keep us posted xxx