sometimes its all too much

[sassy]

hi, i'll apologise in advance as im in a depressive mood.
im a single parent to 4 kids..3 under 8 and 1 of 13. im tired, fed up and feel totally alone. yes i have my mum who is wonderful, but its not quite the same as having a good friend or a hug from a partner when ever you need one.
i have a terrible low self esteem and dont think i would ever been physically attractive to anyone so ive resigned myself to a life with just me/kids and cats.
there are so many things i want to do with my life yet i lack motivation and confidence, as most of you know..the panic and anxiety holds many of us back from living the lives we feel we should.
tomorrow i will wake up and keep going..nothing will change and i will be more positive again, untill the next time reality dawns.
sorry for the ramble, sometimes it just feels good to write things down.
em

[jackie]

sassy i am a mum of 5 four of whom are under 4 and although i have a partner, most of the work is mine as he works long hours.

i know it is tough and with this anxiety sometimes unbearable.

you are not alone and although i may not make it any better for you, i do know what you go through

jackie

[Keitharcher]

Sassy

It seems to me you are having a little blip at the moment it will get better honestly. Have you tried relaxation, it does help it helps you to go your head round things. I think positivity is another key. You turn negatives into positives, you look for the least little thing that you can remotley call positive and build on it. Your kids, the day anything at all. as for being resigned to being alone nobody is there is always somebody out there for you, you just haven found em yet. If your short of hugs (((((((((((((sassy)))))))))))) have a big one. I hope your seeing things better soon

Keith

[sassy]

thanks keith and jackie. my sons father is dying of cancer also, i try to be positive and not dwell on it but we text each other alot as we are good friends, and sometimes its hard to pretend alls ok. i get angry with him because our son who is almost 2 is such hard work and i dont want to raise him alone..i get angry knowing he will not be here to be my shoulder (as he has been) and i get angry with him for putting me thru this and giving me yet another loss to deal with. yet i know its not his fault and i wish to god none of this was happening to him.
im tired of feeling tired and im sick to death of being positive. life bloody sucks and nothing is fair. and what angers me most is that tomorrow i will wake up feeling positive once again and forget about how i feel right now. at least when i feel like this, im honest to myself.
and jackie..how on earth do you cope with 4 under 4? i find it incredibly tough. i take my hat off to you :)

[Keitharcher]

Sassy

Soory to hear about your complications, if it is certain that your sons father is dying of cancer then there is nothing you can do about it, unless you have a magic wand. What you can do is help your son to enjoy the last times he has with his father. Be realistic, if its inevitable make sure all the plans are in place to make his passing as easy for you and your son as it can be. Dont be sad, I have a theory about death, you are born with an energy, that energy is the power that keeps you going and helps make your way through life. Energy cannot be destroyed only converted. Therefore what happens to the energy when you die, is it released to help power other life. Whatever way you look at it the person who dies energy is always with you.

Also I think you should be a little sefish, your son will be with you, fretting is making you ill, so take time out to get yourself right talk with your sons father you will find he will want to help you.

I hope you find a good solution soon

Keith