Pseudonym
07-05-11, 15:19
Hi there.
I'm 35 and have been struggling with anxiety and panic attacks (what a rubbish name for it - it's more like "terror") since my early 20s. They mainly occur around the areas of travelling, being away from home, being with other people socially, and being "on the spot" at high level work meetings when a lot is expected of me and I'm on the edge of my competency.
I've been in therapy for the last 6 years or so. I've got an emergency supply of diazepam, beta-blockers and imodium... :blush: I took all three this morning.
Why am I here? This morning my landlord told me he's thinking about selling the flat I rent. I've been here for 12 years and it's about the only place I feel halfway safe. Q total terror and raiding of emergency drug supply. For me to move somewhere else just seems impossible. On top of the immediate terror, I got to feeling that it was all completely hopeless. Sometimes I feel like it would be better not to live than to live with these feelings of terror and despair and hopelessness and loneliness. I doubt that it's ever going to get better. That I'm ever going to get better. I suppose you'd call that the depression associated with anxiety. I'm aware of Rule 12 for use of the forums, and that's not what I'm about - I wanted to get on here and ask you guys for your hopeful stories. I could really use them right at this moment. Sometimes, the struggle just seems to be too much for me, so I want to read about other folk who have been through the same thing and come out the other end. Happily, I see that there is an entire forum section devoted to success stories, and that is my next stop.
All t'best.
Neil
I'm 35 and have been struggling with anxiety and panic attacks (what a rubbish name for it - it's more like "terror") since my early 20s. They mainly occur around the areas of travelling, being away from home, being with other people socially, and being "on the spot" at high level work meetings when a lot is expected of me and I'm on the edge of my competency.
I've been in therapy for the last 6 years or so. I've got an emergency supply of diazepam, beta-blockers and imodium... :blush: I took all three this morning.
Why am I here? This morning my landlord told me he's thinking about selling the flat I rent. I've been here for 12 years and it's about the only place I feel halfway safe. Q total terror and raiding of emergency drug supply. For me to move somewhere else just seems impossible. On top of the immediate terror, I got to feeling that it was all completely hopeless. Sometimes I feel like it would be better not to live than to live with these feelings of terror and despair and hopelessness and loneliness. I doubt that it's ever going to get better. That I'm ever going to get better. I suppose you'd call that the depression associated with anxiety. I'm aware of Rule 12 for use of the forums, and that's not what I'm about - I wanted to get on here and ask you guys for your hopeful stories. I could really use them right at this moment. Sometimes, the struggle just seems to be too much for me, so I want to read about other folk who have been through the same thing and come out the other end. Happily, I see that there is an entire forum section devoted to success stories, and that is my next stop.
All t'best.
Neil