ZoWeeMcfly
07-05-11, 16:13
I suffered from depression about 2 years ago, this was not anxiety related (as far as I know, it may have had some impact though), but it had a major effect on my life. I lost alot of friends, self harmed, grew apart from family and school performance dropped. This was all because of relationship troubles. I got out of this depression with help from my former girlfriend (we were together at the time), she was great and I never had to feel alone. earlier this year I broke up with her, for a guy, whom I really liked. He broke up with me 2 weeks ago. I had a low week, then a high week, now I'm in limbo. I no longer have feelings for him, but I feel terrible lonely, especially because my bestfriend has just got a new boyf, and theyre SO happy together. I feel all alone, even when I've got my friends around me. I have feelings for a guy, but I do not want too do anything about it because of the state I am in. I have good days, and bad days. Days where I think I have a good life, and days where I feel alone and wonder what is the point iin life (no suicidal thoughts though, but I never had any during my depression either) It's taking lots o fmy energy not to self harm again, I want to make my emotional pain and stress go away.
It's also exam time, I'm taking my GCSE's and it's so stressful, I'm sure I dont have to explain this. I'm just finding it really hard to get motivation to revise because of my anxiety/depression.
I am not worried about my anxiety affecting me in my exams, because there are arrangements being made for me incase I panic, after I had an anxiety attack at school.
I am going for my first session with a mental health specialist on Tuesday, and I'm hoping that they will help with my anxiety disorder, and that this will make the depression go away, because I think they may be linked.
I don't know what I want to gain from posting thiis, I need a rant, and I need advice/opinions as I'm at a loose end. Everything is getting to me.
Also.
cadets is pissing me off, as people are complete idiots and staff are already taking over what is meant to be a cadet event. I also feel inadequate in my rank
I have too much work to do for EVERYTHING. I feel that I took on too much because so much was/is expected of me.
I am unhappy with my weight, I do zumba class every week and I thought it was meant to make you feel good, but it does for the night, then the next day, I'm like this again.
I eat too much. revision food, comfort food, food for the hell of it.
My mum's birthday and 9 year anniversary of when she died is coming up.
My ex wants me back. I dont want her
The girl that pushed me into depression is back to her old tricks
I really really like this guy. But I cant tell him
I want to do really well in exams
I cannot find any work experience
My emetophobia has turned into a full blown anxiety disorder. I had an anxiety attack in school, which was due to a mix of, emetophobia, chlostrophobia, fear of heights and exam worry, all packed into one and it's controlling my life.
Peace, love and anxiety
Zowee..
It's also exam time, I'm taking my GCSE's and it's so stressful, I'm sure I dont have to explain this. I'm just finding it really hard to get motivation to revise because of my anxiety/depression.
I am not worried about my anxiety affecting me in my exams, because there are arrangements being made for me incase I panic, after I had an anxiety attack at school.
I am going for my first session with a mental health specialist on Tuesday, and I'm hoping that they will help with my anxiety disorder, and that this will make the depression go away, because I think they may be linked.
I don't know what I want to gain from posting thiis, I need a rant, and I need advice/opinions as I'm at a loose end. Everything is getting to me.
Also.
cadets is pissing me off, as people are complete idiots and staff are already taking over what is meant to be a cadet event. I also feel inadequate in my rank
I have too much work to do for EVERYTHING. I feel that I took on too much because so much was/is expected of me.
I am unhappy with my weight, I do zumba class every week and I thought it was meant to make you feel good, but it does for the night, then the next day, I'm like this again.
I eat too much. revision food, comfort food, food for the hell of it.
My mum's birthday and 9 year anniversary of when she died is coming up.
My ex wants me back. I dont want her
The girl that pushed me into depression is back to her old tricks
I really really like this guy. But I cant tell him
I want to do really well in exams
I cannot find any work experience
My emetophobia has turned into a full blown anxiety disorder. I had an anxiety attack in school, which was due to a mix of, emetophobia, chlostrophobia, fear of heights and exam worry, all packed into one and it's controlling my life.
Peace, love and anxiety
Zowee..