MattyS
07-05-11, 22:17
Right now, I know that I'm having an anxiety attack.
I was just sat down on the sofa, watching tv, felt my throat tighten like I couldn't swallow. Minor moment of fear. Told myself no, it's just anxiety pretending. Stop it.
Then breathing problems. Stood up, took a glass of water. Still issues swallowing.
Realised I should have taken my prochlorperazine 10 minutes ago. No problem, take it. Sticks in my throat, i drink to try and let it go down. It's not stuck it just feels like it is. Heart is beating fast. My mind is screaming at me that something bad is happening. I know that it is not.
I am not in complete control, I can't help myself from feeling like this, I can only help how I act and what I do when I do feel like this.
I have had dozens of thoughts as to what is wrong with me go through my head in the past minute.
My fiancee is sat at her computer playing warcraft and has no idea. I don't want to appear weak, so I say nothing.
She asks me what I'm typing and I tell her I had one of my anxiety moments so I'm typing to distract myself. She tells me that I should have told her. But why? Nothing anyone external can do will affect this, it's all internal.
I wish she could help me, so does she. But this is my fight I think. I'm not alone in it, but only I can win it. I will.
The moment has passed mostly, still some swallowing strangeness, and breathing feels laboured, even though it is not. Mind playing tricks all the time, really sucks.
I was just sat down on the sofa, watching tv, felt my throat tighten like I couldn't swallow. Minor moment of fear. Told myself no, it's just anxiety pretending. Stop it.
Then breathing problems. Stood up, took a glass of water. Still issues swallowing.
Realised I should have taken my prochlorperazine 10 minutes ago. No problem, take it. Sticks in my throat, i drink to try and let it go down. It's not stuck it just feels like it is. Heart is beating fast. My mind is screaming at me that something bad is happening. I know that it is not.
I am not in complete control, I can't help myself from feeling like this, I can only help how I act and what I do when I do feel like this.
I have had dozens of thoughts as to what is wrong with me go through my head in the past minute.
My fiancee is sat at her computer playing warcraft and has no idea. I don't want to appear weak, so I say nothing.
She asks me what I'm typing and I tell her I had one of my anxiety moments so I'm typing to distract myself. She tells me that I should have told her. But why? Nothing anyone external can do will affect this, it's all internal.
I wish she could help me, so does she. But this is my fight I think. I'm not alone in it, but only I can win it. I will.
The moment has passed mostly, still some swallowing strangeness, and breathing feels laboured, even though it is not. Mind playing tricks all the time, really sucks.