Please help! It will make me feel better :/

[I love rufus]

Hi everyone,
I have suffered with Panic disorder for almost 15 years and intrusive thoughts have been part of this for a while. I like to think I have the O in OCD just obsessions. No matter what I do nothing can stop my thoughts when I get into a funk. I listened to the tapes by Lucinda Bassett( amazing BTW) and Lucinda would say that scary thoughts are your minds way of distracting you from stress in your life you are worrying about ( ie money issues , relationship issues...etc.) Even hearing this and understanding it completely, it can not stop my obsesssions! I will obsess about ridiculous things, for example when I get a tattoo ( and I love tattooes) I will obsess that the ink in sinking into my skin and poisoning me. I will google the crap out of this and obsess and obsess and panic for a week after. I know its stupid but I cant stop. Does anyone else have obsessions like this? Knowing that others do as well makes me feel better. One of my other type of obsessions is kind of religious I guess you can say. For example at age fourteen my friend got me a godsmack cd and I refused to listen to it because it had that star with the circle around it on the cd . I didnt even want it anymore! I obsessed that something bad would happen if I kept it/listened to it! More recently I was at a friends house and she told me a story about a large mirror in her living room. She said her mom had bought it at a tag sale years ago and that after she bought it someone told her it had been in a living room during a murder over 15 years ago. I FREAKED OUT and started panicking INSTANTLY and have been anxious and paniky ever since. I had myslef convinced something bad was going to happend to me after being in the presence of it (even though I have for years before I knew the story) I thought scary thoughts and worried constantly! Everyone told me I was being silly and even I knew I was being silly but i couldnt truly convince myself...anyone have fears like that? It would really help if someone responded saying they did because I feel like im crazy!! I did google ocd symptoms last night and one one web md had to to with religious fears and fears of evil or sinful thoughts...that truly blew my mind that that was a common obsession.
:( also does anyone have any tips on how to stop the thoughts?

[dreena]

Have you tried CBT? It worked with me when I had obsessive thoughts, and I can now control my thoughts by myself! It was these obsessive thoughts that started my health anx years ago! I've always been a worrier even at a young age I remember obsessing over even numbers of things, I used to walk to school and had to add up all the car number plates that drove passed and I would think about it all day if I didn't get atleast 10 that didn't add up to 21! I still catch myself doing it now! It tired me out and I was always realy misereable! I obsessed over EVERYTHING! my worst one is mirrors and can't sleep with one in my room! Hotel rooms are the worst and I have to cover them with towels. I was away once and woke up and one of the towels had fallen off and I nearly had a panic attack! All of this has lead me to not being able to make eye contact! I can't make eye contact with strangers and wear sunglasses most of the time, even in shops. I've hostly suffered so many intrusive thoughts I can't even begin to tell u about them all!

It really sounds like u need help with this! CBT was the only thing that helped me. It's all so tiring and u must be mentally drained!