Is there ever an end to all of this???

[fredwantstofeelgood]

Hi all,

I'm really stressed and anxious this past week. I've been doing quite well for the past couple of weeks but have taken another dip.

I'm really close to my mam and dad, they are a great support and my mam is like my best friend but she also wrecks my head with regards to her health, although I understand my health anxiety can be out of control, she is the complete opposite. She is due to get results of a d&c she had done after bleeding and she is not even slightly worried and during the week I saw a flesh coloured mole under her bra strap near her shoulder looked a bit red and sore, she just said it was irritated from her bra and hair rubbing off it and she scratched the area a good bit. I am really worried now as the area around it is itchy and her reply to my panic was that she will get it looked at by the doctor when she's around there again. (but she never goes so when would that be?)

Do any of you transfer your worries onto your family when not worrying about yourselves? Am I just overreacting?

[onlysmee]

Hi there, I do know what you mean, when I was younger I went through a phobic thing about choking, and I couldn't be around my family when they ate - they didn't chew properly! They talked with food in their mouths! They laughed when eating whole grapes! It seemed like only a matter of time before there was a disaster. So yes, i think extending your worries to your family is fairly standard - after all, you love them and you don't want to lose them. I panic frequently about my kids, though I try very hard to hide it because I don't want them growing up as paranoid about health as I am.

I think there are also control issues - my CBT counsellor said many people with HA like to be in control to a sometimes unhealthy extent, and have trouble recognising what they should and shouldn't seek to be in control of. Providing your mum is of sound mind and able to make her own decisions, it's her choice over what to do with her mole - having raised it with her and got her decision, that's where your control ends. Otherwise you end up taking on everyone else's worrying as well as your own! It's great that you are doing so much better with your own HA, it helps then to apply the same things to other areas.

[fredwantstofeelgood]

Yeah onlysmee, I think the control thing is really a very good point, it makes great sense. I'm really going to have to try and curb it. Can I ask, do you feel the cbt is of great benefit? I'm thinking of going for some. Regular counselling just didn't do much for me...