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lbethell98
09-05-11, 04:21
Hi, I am new to this site and only decided to seek help tonight.
I have suffered from anxiety now for well over two years, almost since I hit 21. I have never seeked help or gone to the doctors about it although some of my friends and family know about it including my boyfriend.
I find simple things increasingly hard - locking the flat up in the morning has been one of the hardest things I have to do every day and I make myself do it. But when I find those things easy, the irrational thoughts cause me problems. It always arises in stressful situations - when I feel alone or have a lot on my plate and money is always a worry for me. Doors have been a major thing and I check my front door three times in the morning but between ten and twenty times at night, waking up every now and again and getting up to check it.
The irrational thoughts are getting worse and though I used to be able to dismiss them overnight, many are lasting two or three days making work impossible.
I co-run a business full time so there's a lot of stress there and recently my job hasn't been so secure and my boyfriend has been working abroad meaning I'm at the flat on my own and I think that's why the last week has been unbearable.
I'm at a complete loss - I want to get through this and I combat my fears daily not letting them take a hold of me but I feel like I'm fighting every day.
Whether it's 'did I leave the straighteners on' or 'did I run someone over this morning', my level of anxiety is the same - I'm having a hot flush right now, clammy with palpatations and I just don't know what to do. I know they're irrational and I try to combat it with logical thoughts, but tonight I haven't had a bit of sleep and I need to be at work in five and a half hours and last the entire day!
I have tried keeping a journal and that did help ease the pressure and I've also tried exercise that helped a bit, but how do you deal with the anxiety when it's there and it's at such a height that you're shaking etc?
I did suffer from this when I was thirteen at school with exams and had panic attacks two or three times a month for two years, but these seem to have been replaced with this dull sense of fear, fear for everything, everyone and all of humanity at times!
Any help would be thoroughly appreciated. I know no one can work miracles but I'd love to lead a 'normal' life/ My boyfriend is really good but when I check the door, the plug sockets, the straighteners, the kitchen appliances three times every morning - well it delays me getting out by about twenty minutes every day! I can understand his frustration with me as I feel it too!
It's nice to read other peoples stories on here... it's nice to know I'm not the only one...
I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
Laura

nomorepanic
09-05-11, 04:24
Hi lbethell98

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

lourah1989
09-05-11, 13:22
hi hun
your definatly not the only one my names laura aswell hehe ! i dont have the same as you checking doors but i check my pulse every minute of every day it pisses me of aswell you should go and see your gp ! although at first they wil look at you like your nuts it takes me like an hour to get to work with a 10 minute bus journey because i feel constant doom like somethink bad is going to happen ! :( im new to this but i hope you sort it out :) you will get there eventually its nice to now im not alone xx

valmay
09-05-11, 21:23
Hi there, I have to check at least twice before I go out that the cooker is off and the lid down to stop the cat hanging off the knobs and turning the gas on. Ifound a lot of the stuff in the self help bit on the left helped me, please have a look. Be nice to your self :hugs: