scared and confused - please help.

[girlafraid14]

I am struggling to believe this is anxiety. I feel as though I am 'drifting' all the time. Even when I am driving, on the motorway, I get this sudden overwhelming feeling of intense tiredness. As though I am about to drop any second. I then race to get to safety. I am so scared of going away from my family, friends and everyone I love and I am struggling to know what's going on here.. I was knocked over by a car in December, and I am worried if all this is not real and perhaps me not being able to rest in peace and that, infact, I did not survive the accident and I am actually 'in limbo' somewhere between life and death. I am hoping that someone will tell me this is my mind playing tricks on me, and these sickening thoughts are just that - sickening thoughts. I am just so tired, and struggling to hang on, I am afriad that if i 'let go' I will never see the ones I love again. If I could just know what's going on, this feels too powerful to be anxiety and my feelings are real. But are they disfunctional perceptions? Are these just ludicrous ideas?

[lourah1989]

hi hunny

its not to powerful to be anxiety trust me ! anxiety does things to our mind we never thought was possible and the fact you've been in a car crash hasnt helped that is enough to frighten any one your not alone i have the same overwelming feelings that make me feel im about to drop dead anysecond and constantly think about my family and i always feel as though im on my way out or iv already died and im just floating around in the air ! it is just your mind playing tricks on you seriously nothinks going to happen you will be fine ! just get a hold of it before it gets a hold of you or you will spend most of your life worrying about what if maybe go and see a doctor and speak about whats bothering you ! change wont come over night but your fully not alone i thought i was alone until today then i found people who understood ! what other syptoms do you get with your anxiety ? x

[kate11]

Its depersonalization, a feeling of not really being there and a feature of anxiety. Many of us feel similar at some point, some more than others and it sounds as though your incident in december has brought death very much to your attention and this is not a surprising symptom of anxiety.
Anxiety can do alot to the mind and body. for a while i was convinced i would die in my sleep, so hardly slept. it took a while but i got over it and sleep ok now but it doesnt happen straight away.
You'll be ok, maybe explain to those close to you how you feel and when you feel like that.
Big hugs
:)

[girlafraid14]

Thank you lourah, well I have had to come out of work today as I thought I was about to collapse. Its so hard to decifer whats real and whats not. It is just SO draining, and I am exhausted all the time. I have had that feeling that I already died and im just floating around in the air too, it is awful, and so difficult to explain to people around u without appearing completely nuts :weep: my mind is playing big time tricks on me and this is life purgatory.

I have heaps of other symptoms, it seems to 'mutate' in that, I get over one thing and it just seems to manifest itself in another way. I guess the biggest one is the feeling that im not going to be able to 'make it' so i rush to get out of places before it's too late. Also, I get a feeling of total NUMBNESS, mostly in my head and hands. As though it's not really me. And the feeling of water rushing down my arms and legs. I sometimes go into total freefall, and feel as though im losing a grip on everything around me and the world seems so distant and out of my reach. That sickening feeling that there is nothing or no one who can help you and that you are being taken away...somewhere...but not sure where.

Thank you very much for lending me your bend your ear x

[girlafraid14]

Thank you Kate, I guess the 'D' word does scare the life out of me, and I have had so many near misses the last couple of years, it has bought it to my attention. I keep thinking about 'what if' and then the ruminations begin... i.e. could this be the afterlife etc/could this be purgatory? :weep:
I know it sounds ludicrous, but this is torment...if i could just stop the thoughts.

Thanks, :bighug1:

[hamster lady]

Hi girlafraid 14

I'm so sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time at the moment with your anxiety and feelings of unreality, I have been through it myself and it is awful! My depersonalization started when my anxiety and panic attacks were at there worst last summer. I began to feel like everything was a dream and at one point it was so bad that I didn't even recognise my family, it was like I was in an alien world, it was just horrendous. It is associated with anxiety and panic attacks and I think it is your mind playing tricks on you. I felt like I didn't know who I was anymore, it is certainly very frightening. I have also had panic attacks which have left me feeling like a don't have any control over my body and once I was walking around feeling like my legs weren't part of me!

I have found that now that my anxiety and panic attacks are calming down a bit (this forum has really helped me), the feelings of unreality are going off and I feel a bit more grounded. I think quite a few people on the forum suffer with depersonalization too, it is a horrible side effect of anxiety unfortunately. Are you getting any help for your anxiety? I ended up going to the doctors when it all got too much for me, and they can help to put your mind at rest and offer help and support.

I really hope you feel better soon, you are not alone in the way you feel, I have been there myself, it is so scary and exhausting. Big hugs:hugs:

[girlafraid14]

Thank you Hamster lady...I am trying my best no to let this take hold but it's not easy :weep: the feelings seem so real, which makes it so confusing. During these attacks, i don't know where i 'go' - it seems i am dragged to hell and back, a hundred times a day and I don't know how much longer i can put up with it