I'm destroying my relationship!

[superkit9974]

Hi, I'm new here, and I need help http://www.anxietyzone.com/Smileys/default/sad.gif

I broke up with my ex of 3 years about 1 1/2 years ago, I thought he was the love of my life but my anxiety ruined our relationship and I broke up with him because I could tell he couldn't deal with my anxiety and he then cheated on me. I jumped into another relationship and although we are happy, some of the time we hit rock bottom, I keep almost leaving him because I think it would be easier and less painful than him hating me for my anxiety and then leaving me. We live together and so we see eachother alot but when he says he wants to go out I feel my anxiety sky rocket and I ask him not to and end up guilt tripping him and creating an argument so he won't go... I know its wrong and I hate doing it but I can't stop it... its like an evil side of me takes over its awful and I feel so bad!! I cry so often about our relationship, all I want to do is make him happy but that goes out of the window when he wants to go out.

I worry constantly about something bad happening to him, if he doesn't answer his phone I have panic attacks because I worry that he has had an accident or something.

I find it really hard to get motivated to keep the house tidy and I feel terrible for this as I don't earn alot and I think that I should be the one cleanng and cooking. I find it hard to cook for him also because I'm anxious about food poisioning and also the majority of the time I have stomach ache because of my anxiety so I am unable to eat.

Any posts would really be appreciated.

Many Thanks

superkit9974

[vicky23]

hi,
It's really good that you're here and you're seeking help, even if it is just the comfort of knowing that you are not alone in your struggles.
Are you getting any treatment for your anxiety issues?
While it's important to have a support network in the form of family/loved ones, ultimately only professionals and ourselves can do what needs to be done to get better. There are different resources out there for family to help them understand though, try googling it or asking your therapist if you have one.
Relationships are hard and none is perfect but you're obviously willing to make changes to make this work so that's got to be good! We as anxiety sufferers and especially women are very prone to feeling guilt and being hard on ourselves but you are trying so keep positive and you can get there!
All the best
x

[Tyke]

Hi Superkit

Probably the best thing to do is try and find something you really enjoy doing that you can occupy yourself with when he goes out. If you can distract yourself with this hopefully you will find it easier to cope with. Could you have a friend round or an absorbing hobby or are you able to go to something or somewhere yourself?

As Vicky says, seek help for your anxiety problems if you aren't already doing so. You will feel better if you can get some professional help for your worries.

Tyke

[superkit9974]

Thanks Guys!

I've been to my doctor today and i've started taking 5mg of Citalopram (starting of gently as i'm anxious of side effects).

I do try to find something to occupy my mind but I seem to be able to have 20 subjects in my head when I'm worrying lol I just can't get away from it :(

Its relly good to chat to people on here who know what its like.

Anyone got any experience with Citalopram?

:)superkit9974

[Tyke]

Hi Superkit

I'm on Sertraline, but there will be plenty of information under Medications-Citalopram on the forum. I think with all these kind of tablets (SSRIs) they do take a while to work (mine took five weeks) and can be tough with side effects to start with (they lasted about four weeks in my case), but they have proved really helpful in the end and I am now so much better.

Tyke :)

[superkit9974]

That's good that they have worked for you - I've found some really helpful info on this site about citalopram.

So far I have no major side effects - just the occational headache, but my anxiety is so bad that the side effects can't be much worse lol

superkit9974:)