Ellie-Bear
09-05-11, 22:02
Well, I thought I had beaten my panic attacks, having not had one for 3 1/2 weeks. (I was having 4/5 every single day before this brought on by a course of steroids that I had a very strange reaction to.)
I woke up this morning feeling a lot more dizzy than normal but got on with the day, dropped the kids off at school and trundled off to work. The morning went ok, still felt very dizzy and spaced out but just tried to get on with it and not think about how I was feeling. My hubby suggested we go out and get something to eat during the lunch hour so off we go. Arrived at the cafe and ordered our food, I'm already wondering how I'm going to manage to eat anything as starting to feel very, very sick. The cafe was quite full and it just felt as if everyone was staring at me, felt like I wanted to just run out of the door. Sat down and starting to feel worse and worse, shaking, heart racing, pins and needles in hands, so I concentrate on my breathing and have some rescue remedy. But the waves of panic show no signs of going and it turns into a full blown panic attack - ARGHHHHHH!!
It's really knocked me for six as I honestly thought (stupidly maybe) that I had beaten it, now it just feels like I'm back to square one. I just keep crying, which might be a good thing as I haven't been able to cry for a couple of months. I just want to feel like me again.
Writing this all down has helped a bit, I can still think positively but when I'm in the grips of panic or health anxiety (I've convinced myself in the last few weeks that I've had breast cancer, throat cancer, lung cancer and it's a brain tumour at the mo) it's impossible. It seems so difficult to think that all of the symptoms I'm suffering from are down to the anxiety and not something more serious/life threatening. I keep wanting to go back to the doctors but I know they are just going to say it's all down to the anxiety, I just need the reassurance that its not something more serious.
Thank you for listening and sorry to blither on, just had to get it off my chest.
I woke up this morning feeling a lot more dizzy than normal but got on with the day, dropped the kids off at school and trundled off to work. The morning went ok, still felt very dizzy and spaced out but just tried to get on with it and not think about how I was feeling. My hubby suggested we go out and get something to eat during the lunch hour so off we go. Arrived at the cafe and ordered our food, I'm already wondering how I'm going to manage to eat anything as starting to feel very, very sick. The cafe was quite full and it just felt as if everyone was staring at me, felt like I wanted to just run out of the door. Sat down and starting to feel worse and worse, shaking, heart racing, pins and needles in hands, so I concentrate on my breathing and have some rescue remedy. But the waves of panic show no signs of going and it turns into a full blown panic attack - ARGHHHHHH!!
It's really knocked me for six as I honestly thought (stupidly maybe) that I had beaten it, now it just feels like I'm back to square one. I just keep crying, which might be a good thing as I haven't been able to cry for a couple of months. I just want to feel like me again.
Writing this all down has helped a bit, I can still think positively but when I'm in the grips of panic or health anxiety (I've convinced myself in the last few weeks that I've had breast cancer, throat cancer, lung cancer and it's a brain tumour at the mo) it's impossible. It seems so difficult to think that all of the symptoms I'm suffering from are down to the anxiety and not something more serious/life threatening. I keep wanting to go back to the doctors but I know they are just going to say it's all down to the anxiety, I just need the reassurance that its not something more serious.
Thank you for listening and sorry to blither on, just had to get it off my chest.