progress at last!

[hamster lady]

Hello everyone

I have been really struggling recently with my anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia but I think I may have made a little bit of progress. I had a really stressful meeting up at my son's school on Monday to sort out his schooling because he is poorly with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and I managed to get through it without getting a full-blown panic attack. I have also had agoraphobia and have struggled with walking my dog, but in the last week I twice been around the block with her without getting a panic attack. I could only manage going a very short distance, just down the end of my road, round the corner and then back again a few weeks ago. She only gets a long walk when she goes out with my husband though! I do feel nervous when I walk her though because she can sometimes react badly to other dogs and if I really stressed on the walk it can turn into a panic attack. I had a terrible panic attack once while walking her and I had to walk all the way home with my heart racing and feeling like I couldn't breathe. I think I just need to keep going out, the more I avoid it the worse the agoraphobia gets.

I think my progress may have come by not panicking so much about my heart pounding and just learning to accept that it is just adrenalin kicking in and that it won't harm my heart. I am still waking up at night with my heart pounding and having terrible nightmares but at least it is not turning into a full-blown panic attack and I just calm myself down inbetween waking up and just saying to myself that it is just horrible old adrenalin again.

I'd like to say a huge thank you to Paula Lynne for the tips she sent me on overcoming agoraphobia, it has helped me so much, thanks Paula:flowers:

Overcoming anxiety and panic attacks feels like climbing Mount Everest, it is so hard! I hope all you guys are making progress too, wouldn't it be great to not live in fear any longer. Good luck to everyone else who is struggling with the same problems as me, we can do this!:)

[paula lynne]

:blush: Thank you, so glad I helped in some way x
You are doing absolutely fantastic! You are well on your way now.....youve learned about adrenaline and accepted it. Granted, its not comfortable, but you do it! That takes courage and commitment, Im SO HAPPY for you! Keep up the dog walking, excercise great for burning off excess adrenaline.....and when you get home all puffed out, and your heart is pounding.....get yourself a glass of water while your heart goes back to normal rhythm, SMILE because you have once again faced your fear and BEATEN IT! x

Go to the top of the class! Big hugs x:hugs:

[blueangel]

That's absolutely brilliant - and real proof for you that keeping at it works much better than avoidance. I'm really chuffed for you. :flowers:

[hamster lady]

Thanks so much paula and blue angel.:) I managed another short dog walk today without a panic attack but I wouldn't say I was happy about going out! Also, last night I got through the night without waking up with my heart racing, I am really hoping that if I can get my anxiety down during the day I will have a better night's sleep eventually. I have been feeling less panicky during the day too, I think that the key to my recovery is to stop worrying about my heart to stop worrying that I'm going to faint - last summer i had two episodes of feeling extremely faint in the kitchen and then my heart went extremely fast to bring my blood pressure back up, it was terrifying. I now get scared about fainting when it is hot weather or when I'm in a hot room. I also have a problem with low blood sugar levels and that has brought on many a panic attack so I am making sure that I eat regularly to stop it getting to that point. Part of my agarophobia problem is worrying about fainting when I'm out and about! I also hate the feelings of unreality that I get with my anxiety and if I'm out and that awful feeling starts like everything is a dream that can also set off a panic attack. I hope that the feelings of unreality will go off as my anxiety reduces, it is so horrible and frightening.

I have now got a really good reason to get over this, I would absolutely love to be a puppy walker for Guides Dogs for the Blind one day but I really need to get rid of my agarophobia first! If we take on a puppy I will have to take it out into busy places and get it used to shops, railway stations, traffic, and I will also need to take it on public transport! Of course, my husband will help me with the puppy's training but I will have to do most of the walking and training because my husband works, although he does do 3 half days. Also, I won't be able to have a puppy until my son is better from his chronic fatigue syndrome as he is housebound at the moment and can only get out and about in his wheelchair, he can only walk a short distance without getting out of breath poor guy. The thought of taking on a puppy also gives him something nice to think about too for when he is better. I've got plenty of time to get myself over my agarophobia and panic attacks and I'm just going to think about that day when everything has settled down, my son is better and we can apply to become puppy walkers, I would love to do it so much, it would be so rewarding!

I can't wait to live a normal life again and get out and about like I used to before this all happened, damn palpitations if only they had never happened!!!!:doh:

[shoegal]

Hi Hamster Lady,

I'm sorry I've not been in touch for a while. I've been really poorly and haven't been on NMP much as I was trying not to dwell on my anxiety too much.

Well done for walking your dog. I'm so jealous as one thing I've not been able to do for the past few weeks is walk my dog. It honestly breaks my heart that I can't do that at the moment. I feel so sorry for my poor doggy, especially as I don't have anyone who can walk him for me. I have been throwing a ball for him in the garden which I hope burns off some of his energy, but I know it's not the same as a walk for him.

My general anxiety has hit the roof (something I didn't particularly suffer from before). I am now finding it difficult to eat, sleep and have become terrified of being alone (which is silly because I've lived on my own for years). I am trying to take each day as it comes and I'm waiting for the anxiety to lift. I can't tackle my agoraphobia at the moment as I'm anxious enough in my house and garden! I notice you said you had felt faint a few times which is something I seem to be getting a lot lately. I'm sure it's just another anxiety symptom but it's horrible isn't it? How can we go about our daily business when we feel dizzy and sick and faint all the time?

Anyway, I'm really pleased to hear that you are doing so well, and it's good to make plans for the future as we all need something to look forward to (the puppy walking I mean). I have updated my dairy with 2 posts about what has been going on for the past few weeks, hence my reason for not keeping in touch. I did mean what I said before though and I would love to have a chat on MSN sometime. I just haven't been online much lately due to bad anxiety.

Take care, and keep on fighting!

Shoegal xxx :flowers: